DON'T MESS WITH MOM!!!!!

[Jarmara]

I was sent this today and just had to share !

DON'T MESS WITH MOM

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.
Who said they didn' t care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike and roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?"
**************************************
You could send this to all your friends that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday
OR JUST ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH
.I love this One!!!
MOM (Mean Old Mother)

[Shirley]

LOL I like that a lot!! Thanks for sharing.

[Milims]

I was hooked by your title and had to read - Don't mess with the Mummy is one of my lines!!!
Thats what I like about being a Mum - give them what they want - with a vengeance!!
I've been known to positively encourage my son to continue his temper tantrum - giving him hints like " go on, stamp harder! Scream louder" etc and then when he can't do it right show him how - on the main street in town - much to his embarrassment! He hasn't done it since funnily enough!
We also had a phase where he wasn't washing his face but saying he was - so I snuck into his room in the night and put makeup on him - he only just noticed as we left for school...............tee heee - evil mummy!!

[cat]

We also had a phase where he wasn't washing his face but saying he was - so I snuck into his room in the night and put makeup on him - he only just noticed as we left for school...............tee heee - evil mummy!!

That reminds me of my sister when she face. painted my nephew. He thought he was a tiger and ran around roaring until he caught sight of himself in the mirror - she'd painted him a dolly face!!!!