Advice needed on neighbour

[thesunflowergal]

Since we bought this house four and a half years ago we have had our fair share of issues with neighbours, namely a drug dealer and a last chance childrens home.
Now our normally quiet next door neighbour is giving us hassle. He has some form of mental health problem, and lives with his wife and very young baby. For the last four or five months he has been smoking lots of pot. During the summer I could not leave my back door open because depending on which way the wind is blowing my house fills up with pot smoke. I have seen them both smoking pot whilest holding the baby. Anyway things came to a head last night when he knocked on the door, shouting something that I did not understand (his english is not very good). My hubby was asking him to talk quietly as our kids were in bed and two of them are not very well, we where trying to work out what he was on about. This ended in hubby getting really cross and pushing him, which I guess he should not have done. The bloke went into his house and came back with a base ball bat.
I still have no idea what his problem is and do not know what to do if he comes back when Kai is at work. He treatening us by telling us that he would get us back and we where not to under estimate him. I do not think that the pot is helping the other issues that he has, and I am worried what he will do next.


Can anyone advise me please, thanks Nikki

[Green Aura]

Two things spring to mind.

First and most important if this guy comes anywhere near with a weapon, whether your husband is home or not, you call the police. Presumably his persistent cannabis use is affecting his underlying mental health issues somehow but that doesn't mean it's OK for him to threaten anyone.

The second thing is you you could contact the local CMHT (community mental health team) - they won't give you any information but should be willing to pass on a message to his key worker - assuming he has one. They should then follow him up as a priority.

Hope it all settles down, not least because it sounds like this guy could do with help. But if he's not getting that then you need to protect you and yours. Do you now if his wife and LO are OK?

[Ellendra]

I agree with the above advice, in fact I'd suggest calling the police now and let them know this guy has been threatening you.

But, and this is going to sound morbid, if this guy really does attack, chances are that the police will most likely get there only AFTER he's done what he's going to do. I have too many friends in law enforcement to believe otherwise. So now is the time to ask, how far are you willing to go to protect your family?

[ina]

I agree with the above advice, in fact I'd suggest calling the police now and let them know this guy has been threatening you.

I'd do that, too - don't wait until it is an emergency!

[MKG]

Well, I'd be a tad careful. You say hubby pushed the guy - and that, technically, is assault. This guy could get an awful lot of mileage out of that, even though he'd probably be charged with threatening behaviour - for which he'd be fined and then you'd have an extremely angry nutter living next door.

He sounds a bit paranoid and confused and, if his smoking habits are as you describe, he's probably already got a number of convictions for that. One more isn't going to bother him. What would be nice to know is why he came to your door in the first place - perhaps it might be worthwhile trying to find out? You never know, approaching him calmly when he's calm too may just solve the whole problem.

Mike

[battybird]

I agree with earlier posters, let the police know that the neighbour has been threatening even if your husband pushed him (and tbh if the man did not complain, & there is no proof unless he was injured. As he reacted by bringing a baseball bat, I dont think he would get much milage!) . They should be able to give advice on what to do and may even be able to contact his mental health worker/team. The community warden may keep an eye in the day (well, in some areas!!). He may not have convictions for smoking pot,and you are right to be concerned, as he has proved. The only other thing to try first might be to speak to his girlfriend (when he is not there!)if she speaks better english, maybe there was a good reason he called that day, which could be resolved?? Unfortunately with some mental health problems, rational, logical communication is rather doomed..(I have personal experience with a paranoid schizophrenic and it can be very scary!).
I do hope it all just blows over..you never know! My son was threatening us with a hammer one evening, then the next morning arrived for breakfast and could not understand why we were upset!!

[oldjerry]

I don't envy you in this situation and I completley understand why your partner would want to eject this bloke from your property.The problem is this: you either get the authorities to deal with the problem,with the risk that they aren't that bothered,are too busy etc. etc.or you deal with it yourself,in which case you or someone else has to impose themselves on the offending person with so much force that they are persuaded to back down.( I trust you understand what I'm getting at ).I'm not publically advocating the second option,but I'm sceptical of the first. Best wishes I hope you can sort this quickly. Jerry.

[fifi folle]

Having been in a situation similar I would suggest taking action sooner rather than later. We had similar neighbours at one point. It all started well, we got on well with them, then his behaviour became more and more unacceptable. From threatening us to verbal and physical abuse of his partner (and awful effects on their two children, the second barely spoke at 3yrs) it became unbearable. We didn't do anything though (I was in my early 20s at this point and didn't know what to do really) and eventually she packed up and did a runner from her own home (she owned it and he had moved in with her), she tried to get him evicted but it took months, and even afterwards when the flat was being sold he would come round and smash windows etc.
Please contact the police now rather than leaving it, I would guess the police would be more interested in the threats of physcial violence and use of a baseball bat than your husband trying to remove an aggressive person from your property.
Fiona
PS this wasn't some awful inner city area it was a really nice neighbourhood, it can happen anywhere.

[JulieSherris]

Nikki, have you got a local PACT team? You can ring the council to ask them & if so, try contacting them directly maybe?
If the family have any issues with any strand of the authorities, then someone on the PACT team will be able to help & by contacting them, you are in effect contacting all departments at once.

Good luck - it's awful when you feel like you're under pressure in your own home because of neighbours

[Stonehead]

As others have said, always put in a report to the police immediately something like this happens. Your husband should explain that he felt threatened by the aggressive behaviour of your neighbour, leaving your husband no choice but to eject the neighbour from your property using the minimum force necessary (ie pushed him away). Explain that the neighbour takes drugs, is mentally erratic and unpredictable, and at the time was using some combination of threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour that led your husband to believe that violence may be used against him. Hence your husband pushing him off the property.

The fact that the neighbour then came back with a weapon shows that your husband was right to believe violence might be used. And the police should taken threatening behaviour with a weapon extremely seriously.

We had a problem some years ago with my wife's ex who had mental health "issues", stalked her, broke into her house and various other things. This was before changes to stalking and harassment laws, so I had to get quite firm with him. Fortunately, like your neighbour, he came onto my wife's property while I was there, tried to break in and made threats so it was entirely appropriate to forcefully point out the error of his ways. No more than was necessary, of course.

So when something like your situation happens, always phone the police immediately, be factual about what has happened but be very clear that you were threatened on your own property, believed violence was about to be used against you or yours, and used no more force than was necessary to remove the person from your property.

[witchwoo]

not sure if i should reply to this thread ..due to mainly being a very much of a scready cat but im worried for you , so here it goes ...
pot, weed what ever you call it can and does cause mental health problems, weather it just makes the problems which are there before had worse im not sure. Please follow the advice of the people who have posted before as they have known you lot longer than me, contact someone personally i would inform the police you have had problems , if you dont want them to intervine at the moment they wont but it will be on record that youve had problems and may call them out, then if he does come back ring them dont reply to the door. Sadly mental health does have a stigma attached to it, so many who have the problems do not speek out, scarried of what the so called ''normal'' pearson will say or do even when they are well, but when the illness comes to the point it is affecting other people then the ill person needs help, when you are in a epesode then often what is your reality is not real and you can be a danger to not only yourself but to others as well, offten threw fear of what is seen,heared or thought. You may not mean to but fear and anger are strong emousions. please keep yourself and your family safe.
i will go hide now

[thesunflowergal]

Thanks everyone for their kind replys and words of support and ideas.

The sad thing is that we do not live a a rough inner city area, where we are is quite nice. As with anything its a small minnority ruinning for the rest of us

There is no talking to him, as he is nearly always stoned. I think I may have upset him by asking him to remove his M & S shopping trolley, from outside my house. He said he will not as its his car , maybe I should have asked him to park it on his drive then .

I have taken steps and connected some of the authorities, especially as I have since heard him smashing his house up. The wife seems just as bad as him, but she also does what she is told which I think maybe a cultural thing.

Shame that we can not afford to move

Thanks again all Nikki.

[jampot]

hi SFG i feel the need to add my twopeneth ,firstly hugs to you its never easy having hellish neighbour ( iknow!). next there is a baby involved please please call social services! in one way or another they may already be monitoring but if this guy is being threatening to you and smashing up the house there is a risk to the child , as the others have said the police are best notified too, hope it doesnt go on too much longer

[Stonehead]

SFG, given your location, this might be useful:

http://www.swindon-csp.org.uk/csp-anti-socialbehaviour

[thesunflowergal]

I did Jampot, would rather the baby was safe than sorry. Thanks for the hug hun x