An tips on how to encourage ishism in the family?

[seasidegirl]

My husband and sons are not entirely with me on the self sufficiency ishness. They are not against it and often make polite encouraging comments, also they lift heavy stuff for me and dig heavy roots out etc.

but ...

they also secretly think its just a phase I'm going through, or that its just one aspect of my eccentricity, or you know.
Deep down they'd all really like a flat lawn and tidy hedges and a house that looks like Sarah Beeny's been round and Beeny'd it. I want it to be eco, quirky, filled with old stuff from the tip, and with a garden full of produce.

tactics employed this time of trying include

growing stuff they like
making lots of hearty stews and soups in winter
bread and cakes

Is it possible to ever make them really embrace the philosophy? Eat more salad? See the beauty in my purple sprouting broccoli plants?

Thanks in hope.

p.s. husband like log fires and has been liberating some wood last week. Also makes own fishing tackle from old scrap so there is hope.

[Thomzo]

I think you are on the right lines with your ideas. Reward their hard work with home made cakes.

I think the most important thing is to make it fun, not hard work.

There are lots of books around at the moment on interior design using second-hand or junk shop finds. Borrow them from the library and leave them lying about.

And we all know that an abundant and productive garden can look lovely.

Zoe

[liskeardjane]

Keep convincing them that this is fun! jam making, making things, growing things is such a laugh and it's a hobby, nice and cheap - how about getting your other half into home brewing - plus money saving - my other half loves free fire wood and cutting up old skirting boards and pallets to save money - he also likes digging the garden for me - doing very cave man blokey kind of stuff - they'll come round and now he likes giving veg to our neighbour

[seasidegirl]

Thanks to both.

I think promoting the fun aspects is the way to go, good point. It's his birthday soon soon so I'll buy him a home brewing kit. Brilliant idea.

They are all big strong lads so there are plenty of opportunities to make them feel manly and useful (which they are)

[crowsashes]

any ideas how i can find a man whos into all the ishness and family stuff?
not having much luck at the moment so i have nobody to bribe with cakes!

my son ( 2 yr old) is thankfully at the right age to be 'trained' into ishness! im just so glad he loves gardening!

maybe for the guys you could get them to compete growing super sized veg? it might get them into the whole gardening/growing side of it a bit more?

[seasidegirl]

I tell him size doesn't matter every time he comes home from fishing (having thrown all the tiddlers back). giant vegetables might be more rewarding for him.

Don't like to bring the size subject up too often though

There was a load of farmers advertising for wives a while back. I'll bet they are very ishy and would devour enormous cakes.

[southeast-isher]

hey ssg if you have trouble finding a homebrew kit locally i found a place the other day so give me a shout by pm. not sure what their prices are like though as didn't get a chance to check them out.

[Rosendula]

I have the same thing here - they appreciate what I do, but don't get very involved. Although OH LOVES the chickens. I hope the novelty doesn't wear off because he actually cleans up the poo as often as I do.

I think what's helped with my OH is constantly reminding him how much something would have cost to buy, compared to how much it cost to produce. Home-brew is the best example because it can be so cheap to make and the commercial stuff has so much tax piled on it. It also helps that I always come in with a smile on my face after being at the allotment or in the greenhouse - it really lifts my mood, which in turn makes life a whole lot more pleasant for them.

Richard also likes bragging - yes BRAGGING - to his friends about when he comes home from work and can smell freshly baked bread, or biscuits, or home-made bolognese or whatever. They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach and I didn't believe it until I started making my own stuff.

[citizentwiglet]

I must say, my OH is pretty supportive and because we are permanently skint is very open to ishness; but he does that have that peculiar man-thing where he likes to roll his eyes and skulk off into another room when I'm getting all enthusiastic about my latest hare-brained scheme - 'Let's get bees!', 'let's swap the children for a goat'!
He does pitch in, though. He tried to build me a bike shelter out of some left over wood and some tarpaulin last week (it didn't work, but he did try).

Just be careful what you wish for - I have to make an Easter hat for the nursery Easter Bonnet parade next week. Will I be allowed to nip off to Hobbycraft? Will I hell as like - my three year old has announced to the entire class that HIS hat will be made completely from recycled materials; and he tore strips off me yesterday for accidentally putting a glass jar in the normal bin 'No mummy, you put that in the glass bin RIGHT NOW!' (Personally, I blame cBeebies...)....if he's like this at three.......

[Russian Doll]

when we had money my oh put it down to my phase...then we got repossessed and i showed him how much we could save...needless to say hes fully behind me now and now enjoys finding bargains in bin sheds for me lol

[Susie]

My partner says I'm mad and he's not going to get involved - he's quite literally never been to the bottom of our garden (and it's not that long!). I think he's scared of Nature. Anyway I don't take any notice because I think his way of showing interest in something is making fun of it (...and isn't it good for the state of our relationship that I think this ) and sometimes I catch him boasting about things I do to people.

Mind you I do look at him sometimes and think, this is a man who is not going to get it in a million years. I was saying to him the other day how we ought to have a go at making our own yoghurt and he looked at me thoughtfully and said '...or... you could buy it from the supermarket where they sell it in a big carton'. I think my default position is that anything you make yourself is always better than anything you can buy, and he thinks that bought = better. Still, as Marg says to Lisa in the Simpsons, 'There are women who say you can't change a man.' Pause. 'I call those women quitters.'

[seasidegirl]

Lovely replies everybody - really made me smile so thanks.

I think that there is a small part of him that is secretly a little bit proud of my good- life endeavours. Like Rosendula said I know he tells his friends what I'm up to, usually in the style of humorous anecdotes but I don't mind this and try to see the funny side of most of my life(style) anyway.

I usually get the last laugh anyway cos most of his pals are dead impressed and quite often help. One of his mates has to clear old properties sometimes and he brought me round a victorian bed warming pan and a brass magazine rack. Another friend goes ferreting so ha ha I've been promised a rabbit to cook.

I think a lot of how we all think about the lifestyle we want goes back to childhood memories. Eg he used to live near allotment patches and a redundant orchard.
I think he scrumped so much when he was small he gorged on certain raw fruit and veggies til he was ill and put himself off a lot of them. He said his Dad was always coming home with rabbits and hated it as a kid so doesn't fancy them much now. I won't be put off cooking it though. I'm sure I can make it appetising. That or hide it and disguise it with cider.

Good suggestion about emphasizing the money savings. Must sit down and add up what I'm spending as I go. Very little so far on plant raising. Only real expense is fruit bushes and trees. These I'm regarding as our pension plan.

[bonniethomas06]

My ex was not a bit interested either. It is a bit lonely when you are the only person making an effort in your household, I know. I remember when I got the chooks, he looked bemusedly at them for a couple of minutes and then went back in to watch the rugby.

But there are some who convert! My lovely boyf now has thrown himself into our new lifestyle with gusto. Buying him a chainsaw and forcing him to watch lots of River Cottage seemed to do the trick. He has gone from flat-dwelling city boy to living a Bolivian peasant lifestyle in less than 6 months. It can be done!

[crowsashes]

My ex was not a bit interested either. It is a bit lonely when you are the only person making an effort in your household, I know. I remember when I got the chooks, he looked bemusedly at them for a couple of minutes and then went back in to watch the rugby.

But there are some who convert! My lovely boyf now has thrown himself into our new lifestyle with gusto. Buying him a chainsaw and forcing him to watch lots of River Cottage seemed to do the trick. He has gone from flat-dwelling city boy to living a Bolivian peasant lifestyle in less than 6 months. It can be done!

how come i can never find one even remotely interested

oh well ill stick to training the toddler!
as i cant keep chickens im getting the little guy a couple of pet rabbits. hopefully they'll do all the jobs i wanted from a chicken except lay eggs! and ill have the benefit of a cuddly lawn mover!

[Masco&Bongo]

Previously, I have been much more into being Ish than my OH and I was the driver behind us having chickens, getting the polytunnel etc,

However, now he has the bug! He has found out that another guy where he works is quite Ish, and they do a lot of note-comparing and bartering etc.

OH has had lots of good ideas about upping our income using our resources, and has bartered a flock of Welsummer birds for some carpentry skills - this means that I will be raising our first home-grown flock of hens soon!

He is also very Ish when it comes to jams, chutneys, cordials etc and was really proud to take our home-made bags of Christmas produce to work.

I've been entering local agri-shows for a couple of years with fruit and veg, and this year OH entered some of the birds and eggs and more veg and was dead pleased when we won 5 prizes (including 'his' eggs)

He still whinges about the fact I have a billion potatoes chitting in the spare bedroom, and every windowsill has seedlings on, and the fact that there are issues of Home Farmer mag and seed catalogues everywhere, but I think he is becoming more Ish every day!