Horrified!

[mrsflibble]

I can vouch for tea's kiddies being healthy and gorgeous.

[citizentwiglet]

Ellis dropped completely off the bottom of his. Shortly afterwards I tore the ruddy thing up and chucked it in the bin. He is (according to HV) somewhere between the 13th and 15th, a cause for much concern for my centile-obsessed friends. (The ones who will be shortly having potty-training races and obsessing about which child will be first to write their name(probably in Latin)...)

He's happy, he's VERY healthy and is currently doing a Chris Bonnington up my sofa; I've no complaints at all. OK, a few more words would be nice. And if he could stop crayoning all over the wallpaper.....

[mrsflibble]

this all reminds me, i need to try and find sophie's blessed red book before we go for her jabs this afternoon........
no flipping idea. not used it in about a year!!!

I go by how well soph's clothes fit, and how active she is. she's in age 2-3 clothes (normal) and is bouncing off the walls right now 'cos she's antsie to get out.

[citizentwiglet]

See, NHS Lanarkshire don't even trust us with our own red books. They keep them in the office. Unfortunately, whenever you go to the HV, she seems to be in one office and the red book is in the other office, 5 miles away....
I had real trouble getting Ellis his Bookstart book from the library because I didn't have my Red Book, we just get a wee white 'diary' thing and the library wouldn't accept it. In the end, my CBT counsellor sneaked me a pack, naughty lady.....!!

[QuakerBear]

Dear Citizentwiglit.

I used to be a childrens librarian and there are several routes you can go for the next Bookstart packs if you're having problems.

1. Contact Bookstart directly, contact details can be found on their website.
2. Ask in the library for the email/phone number of the county childrens librarian and contact them, they're usually more accomodating and helpful then library assistants who don't have a vested interest in promoting Bookstart.

For anyone else: Don't forget Bookstart also produces books in large print, and touchable for blind/visually impaired children. Again contact your County Childrens Librarian.

I'll stop promoting it now.

[QuakerBear]

Here's the link to the Bookstart home page:

http://www.bookstart.co.uk/

[citizentwiglet]

Thanks QB! Have bookmarked it so we don't have the same rigmarole with his next one, the 'treasure chest'.

I was most impressed with the one he got on Monday - drawing pad, crayons (my landlord will not be so impressed when he sees Ellis' attempts at the recreation of the Sistine Chapel on the wallpaper.. ), 'I'm Not Cute' book, Little Monster's Book of Numbers and some number charts for the wall, plus a very useful guide to reading with your children and recommended books. All comes in one of those little book-bags which Ellis HAS to take everywhere with him, including bed....

It seems so sad that there is actually a need for such a service, IYSWIM - that there are parents that don't understand how important reading to their children is, and would never think to buy them books or visit the library. But that's another thread!

[QuakerBear]

I WILL be quiet and do my work soon, buuuut. For those of you with older children, the National Summer Reading Challenge follows on very nicely from the Bookstart Treasure Chest (the last pack). Check it out in the library at the beginning of the summer hols. Kids get a small reward for every couple of books they read, then when the've finnished a set number they get a certificate and medal. Some counties even do special assemblies in schools where the medals and certificates are handed out. There are kids who'll wiz though the total number of books in one week and then there are kids who'll struggle and trudge through them all summer, it's absolutely wonderful when they achieve the set number. You can't help but feel really proud of them.

If you're lucky enough to have specialised childrens librarians in your county please use them. Believe it or not but being a librarian can be very hard and thankless. The main reward comes from helping people to get what they want, so please use your librarians.

[Annpan]

We just picked up the same pack a few weeks ago... e carries the bag around too, we keep all the leaflets and she spends hours happily putting them in and out....

I guess the whole thing, kids weaned on chinese carry out, wotsits and coke and not reading to your kids are a bit of a wake up call to me... It makes me realise...
1. That I am a fab mum, who is very intelligent and kean to give E the best start in life I can afford (physically, spiritually and financially)
2. that those sleepless nights, worrying because E, at 5 months happily chewed away at dry toast... but wouldn't eat baby rice... were a waste of time and I would have done much better not worrying about it and getting some sleep...
3. There are some parents out there who need alot of help and guidance to raise their children and they don't get it... and in a generation their will be 3 times as many parents who need guidance...

I still despair, but I feel much more confident personally. And I still won't listen to health professionals advice.

[citizentwiglet]

Beautifully put, AP. I too feel a lot more confident...a combination of 'first-time-mum panic', outside interference and PND meant that I spent far too long stressing over things that are not important rather than enjoying my baby and marvelling at his development. I spent most of my time checking he was doing things 'properly', developing along the lines of the HV's 'perfect child' (the one in the books) and looking at his lateness in doing things rather than celebrating his achievements.

But you're right - there are too many families slipping through the net that really do need help. Thing is, the help that is there is often put across in a really arrogant and 'finger-pointing' way that the people who often need the most help don't want others casting judgement on them and their lifestyles. This country doesn't have a gently encouraging approach, they prefer the sledgehammer 'do as we say or you're rubbish at parenting' approach which does nothing but alienate a lot of people.

(Sadly, I know several mums who are really suffering from PND but are too frightened to seek help because they are so afraid their children will be put into care. And I admit, it is very scary when you get a letter through from your CPN and it has 'Social Services' plastered all over it, and the paranoid side does wonder whether your child is on the at-risk register).

[Shirley]

hmmm we received the baby bookstart pack when J was about 3 and then nothing ever since. I didn't even know that there were other packs to collect.

That said, he's got a fair few books anyway so he's not really missing out.

[Russian Doll]

Beautifully put, AP. I too feel a lot more confident...a combination of 'first-time-mum panic', outside interference and PND meant that I spent far too long stressing over things that are not important rather than enjoying my baby and marvelling at his development. I spent most of my time checking he was doing things 'properly', developing along the lines of the HV's 'perfect child' (the one in the books) and looking at his lateness in doing things rather than celebrating his achievements.

But you're right - there are too many families slipping through the net that really do need help. Thing is, the help that is there is often put across in a really arrogant and 'finger-pointing' way that the people who often need the most help don't want others casting judgement on them and their lifestyles. This country doesn't have a gently encouraging approach, they prefer the sledgehammer 'do as we say or you're rubbish at parenting' approach which does nothing but alienate a lot of people.

(Sadly, I know several mums who are really suffering from PND but are too frightened to seek help because they are so afraid their children will be put into care. And I admit, it is very scary when you get a letter through from your CPN and it has 'Social Services' plastered all over it, and the paranoid side does wonder whether your child is on the at-risk register).

i for one know how paranoid social services can make you...we have had someone make malicous allegations about me and the kids to the nspcc..sayig i have been emotionally sexual and physical abusing them...weve had social workers round and thankfully they saw it was malicous and there was nothing going on

but what made me mad is because of those phone calss there is a family out there that hasnt got help because it was wasted on me

[citizentwiglet]

That's monstrous, Tea. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[Annpan]

That is truely hellish....((()))

[mrsflibble]

CT I know what you mean about being scared your child will be taken away. that' one of the reasons I left it late to ask for help; in the end it wasn't me who asked for help it was my husband. He'd already seen me through a nervous breakdown when I was 19 and knew the signs of "crazy Emma" coming to visit again; I was so terrified of telling the doctor how I REALLY felt. I desperately wanted sophie, she was meticulously planned and I loved every little hair on her head but I couldn't give a cr*p about myself. even when I was put on medication I didn't tell the whole story until I was asked by the health visitor to fill in the "how bad is it really" kind of questionnaire... still I lowered my answers a little, checked what I said and the moves I made. the only persons I've every told EVERYTHING to are james and my counsellor. I'm fine now, been brain medication free for a year. still have wobbles every now and again.

Quaker Bear: do you work for them?!
getting soph's next pack on monday when we go to a clinic 2nds birthday party for all the toddlers born around her time.... actually, must find out where that is lol!!!