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npsmama: I cant help you much with your questions, as I only had the one child, most of this did not happen to me, but I would say you just have to accept that everything takes a lot longer, particularly if you are going at toddler walking pace!

don't beat yourself up - cr*p mothers rarely worry or ask questions.. and despite the impression given to you by supermums and HVs, its not like all this knowledge arrives with the placenta! - you figure it out as you go along. If something doesn't work, try it a different way, or another time when life settles a bit etc.

I uinderstand completely ann, I'm lucky in that I have 2 brothers and a sister who are substantially younger than I am so I had a pretty good handle on what babies do, how to care for them etc... but i have to admit soph was nearly 3 months old before I'd got the hang of making bottles, cleaning, feeding, nappies etc... then each time she gets a bit bigger and i dont know what to do I'm again very lucky as I have my mum, jim's mum and tea to ask about it lol!

soft play: if tiddler is asleep leave in car seat, and put it somewhere you can see it from top of slide. 2 months after the caeserian I was carrying ds2 up the soft play and coming down the slide to reassure ds1 he was still important, then excusing myself after a while to sit and drink lattes. ds1 will get used to playing by himself or with other chilkdren! Depends on age as well.

library - lap change or ask-a-mum, and also if you have the energy you can start explaining to toddler the consequences of not behaving nicely etc (ie no more library)

car - it never occured that one could sit and chill in the car as mine take turns to rest so there's always one on the go!

buggy - a buggy board, buggypod (sidecar for the bug) or sometimes there are bits your tod can stand on (pliko does whenseat pushed up).

Libraries aren't what they weere - ours serves coffee and has leather seats now and encourage kids to come in and shriek.

I beat myself up about being a lousy mum, but the alternative is a rather extreme thing, so they are stuck with me!

circlecross wrote: Libraries aren't what they weere - ours serves coffee and has leather seats now and encourage kids to come in and shriek.

coffee and leather? mine has plastic school style chairs or the kind you find in drs waiting rooms with the minimal padding, but it does have a fairly substantial dvd collection... mind you you have to know the title odf the dvd you want 'cos it's alphabetical rather than genre based. this can be really annoying if you cant remember the name of the film you want.

At least yours are alphabetised!!! I went into look for something the other day and I had to look all through the '12's to find it. Madness!

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Thanks for cheering me up guys!

Stonehead wrote:And for righteous mob, the babe had a hat removed before the pic was taken, and all exposed skin was positively slathered in high-factor sunscreen. No children were harmed in the process of taking the picture, although I can say the geezer did suffer towards the end...

blimey stonehead if you got lo to wear a hat then well done you...my youngest despises them and point blank refuses to wear one....we had to resort to one of those bonnets that tie under the chin...needless to say i had so many people saying what a prety girl i had

btw your kids are stunning and my oh does that with are two boys as well