what to do with a burnout?

[Berti]

I am burnout.
Anyone on here who had this and how to deal with it.
Its tough.

[becks77]

Hi Berti,
Sorry your not feeling you're normal self, when you say burnout perhaps you could describe symptoms and I'm sure someone will have very helpfuladvice for you, hugs x

[Zech]

Go easy on yourself. Accept that you're going to need time to recover and give yourself that time.

[Berti]

Hi Berti,
Sorry your not feeling you're normal self, when you say burnout perhaps you could describe symptoms and I'm sure someone will have very helpfuladvice for you, hugs x

well if you say you have an burn-out then anyone knows , I thought, what that means.
there are descriptions on the interwebs....

someone said this morning that it has been going on for at least one year already but only now I come to that conclusion myself (!!!).
I am totally worn out because of the major (no kidding) stress I have been under the last few years (three and counting) an still no help in sight.

[niknik]

a holiday. some sunshine....
a total change albeit brief. or maybe go woofing

[boboff]

Berti

In the UK burnout is a car thats been set on fire, so I was going suggest a tow truck!

Or its the condition associated with Wizz Kid Financial types who rise to great heights at a young age and then in their early thirties can't cope with the pressure any more associated with "city life" and end up buying a Farm in Devises.

So Beccs was trying to tease out as bit more detail, suspecting that you mean "depressed"

Hope that helps on the definition part.

[becks77]

Thanks Boboff that's exactly what I meant, just trying to help :)

[Berti]

there is a difference between a depression and being burnout.
albeit vague.
a depression can be caused from within, being burnout is caused by having been under serious stress for too long a time and then going over your limits too to just keep going until you have nothing more to give.

the description of boboff, of young people raising to great heights and then ending up buying a farm, is exactly what I mean, although I am no longer such young person and cannot afford a farm.
nor a holiday.
nor go woofing even.
but I'd love to.

I do have a 16 yo at home still and cats to take care of, and my veg patch being set up.
the whole thing is that I have been going for YEARS and now I "am on fire" and need a tow truck.
I have no one to share the stress with so I am really alone, lonely and just wondering how I can try to keep going.

doing all positive things I can, on days I can face them, but I am in a situation with no outlook on improvement right now and don't want to know what happens when this continues.
I don't even remember if I EVER posted this on the board.
but who wants to know can PM me....

[Andy Hamilton]

Hmm, I get periods of major stress, its the nature of being self employed, never knowing if you are going to have any money coming in, let alone any money, meeting continual deadlines, etc.

After periods of stress I have to be nice to myself. Eat well, sleep well. Spend time with friends, get away from the computer. Don't drink more than 4 units of alcohol at day, Go for walks and I also find meditation helps. When I am in the right frame of mind I find I can do as much work over the same amount of time and not get so stressed. Even 10 mins in the morning sitting a chair breathing slowly, eyes shut can really make a difference.

Everything changes, that is the only constant in the world so your situation will continue, try and remember that.

[boboff]

Hope you feel better soon Berti.

Just take it one step at a time, when you feel you can, do something to make your situation different.

Library for Self Help Books on depression & CBT and motivational stuff is where I would start. Spend a few weeks reading, then make some lists, and start to keep a diary or journal, putting pen to paper with you worries and plans, it makes it a little easy to deal with feeling alone.

Oh and I think lots of posts from the Admin Girlies with Smiley Hugs on them would help enormously as well * Cough, come on them.

[Thomzo]

Here's a hug from a SSish Girlie - hope it helps.

I can sympathise, having been through it myself and I am wondering if I'm getting there again. I can't remember what you do for a living, do you work or are you self employed? My major problem was not delegating enough and not taking all my holidays. So I ended up working long hours to try to get everything done and never having any time off work.

If you can, try to take regular time off from work. I now try to take at least one day a month when I don't have anything specific planned, so can just chill out at home not doing anything in particular or use the time to do one of those jobs that I keep putting off.

Make sure your 16yo is helping out around the home. In years gone by they would be married and running a home of their own by now so he/she is perfectly capable of doing half of all the housework (I certainly did at that age). It's good preparation for when they leave home.

If there is something that is constantly worrying you, try to 'park' it for a while. I found myself constantly worrying about work and it was making me ill. I would wake up in the middle of the night worrying about deadlines. Now I have made a pact with myself, that I won't think about work outside of the office. I will work late to get things done but once I walk out of the door, I mustn't think about anything to do with work until I get in the next day. It takes a lot of will-power, but it works for me.

Here's another just to make you feel a bit better.

And you do have a large group of people to share the stress with - US. A lot of us have been there so we can help, even if it's just with more

Best wishes
Zoe

[Susie]

Berti, can you get away from it all for a little bit? Even if it's only for a few hours. Go for a walk, have a day out, go sit in a coffee shop, evening out with friend and a bottle of wine, anything. Sometimes if you can get away and think about something completely different even for a really short period, if gives you a bit of perspective on the situation and you can think of ways to begin to change it. When you're in it, it's very easy to think it can never end and you have no options, but you do.

Also, not an admin and never been described as a girlie (damn that feminist consciousness! ;-) ), but have a smiley hug anyway. , because I've certainly been there.

[darkbrowneggs]

When I was having some health problems I found this book very helpful

Linky

Its only 1p from Amazon (plus P&P) so its not much to loose even if you don't find it helpful

And be kind to yourself - we are here to be happy I think- maybe this could be the start of something good.

All the best
Sue

[Annpan]

((((hugs))))

I maybe don't know exactly what you are going through Berti... but I have my days/weeks where I feel like that.

Just keep on keeping on... there will be an end... things will be better one day....

You need to give yourself a break, take it easy on yourself, put your feet up, have a cup of hot chocolate, go for a bath.... you maybe can't afford a holiday right now (I know how that feels) but you can still have a break.

Sorry you feel so alone, I sometime wish all us ishers lived in the same village that we could come round with a cake for a wee chat.

But since we can't be there in real life here's a cuppa and a hug

[Green Aura]

Berti, I think you've already started to deal with your problem by acknowledging it. So that's a good start.

I know from FB that you've had quite a few things over that last while but it might be worth sitting down and making a list of all of them. That in itself might be a bit stressful but it will give you somewhere to start from in dealing with them. Obviously some things you just have to give some time to ease but other things you might be able to take some practical steps to resolve. And if you have a friend you could show the list to they might help you see ways of dealing with things that may not be immediately obvious to you.

Andy's advice was pretty sound - but I'd lay off alcohol totally, it's a depressant and causes sleep disruption so won't help at all. Something like a massage can be helpful to give you back a bit of energy. And aromatherapy oils (with or without the massage) are excellent too. Basil helps with concentration and clarity, melissa or Eucalyptus staigeriana are immensely uplifting.

But I think before any of that (if you haven't already) see your Doctor and make sure there is no underlying depression. What you describe as burnout could well be classed as a reactive depression.

Above all feel free to come and chat to us here - we can offer lots of hugs and support and let you know you're not alone with this. Many of us have experienced similar things.

Look after yourself honey.