Hide the cucumber

[eeksypeeksy]

So they're trapped then!

Ha! Doomed to wander my garden for eternity, maybe blinded by thorns like princes in a story. That'll teach them not to try to steal my rapunzel.

[*stuffed*]

you will always get theives where there are people I'm afraid. On our allotments ever the plot holders themselves pinch from each other...vegetables are often going missing...I .lost a lot of onions last year

That doesn't surprise me my Dad had some rhubarb pinched
The stupid thing is he would probably have given the guy some if he'd asked

I've had a chicken pinched and some kids toys out of the garden but they haven't resorted to plants yet.

[ged.medland]

Two possible scenarios,
plant more in the hope that you will cover the loss(if they dont thieve the lot)
Buy an uzzi,1000 rounds per minute!(approx 300 sovs if you know where to go!)
atb
ged

[Wombat]

Two possible scenarios,
plant more in the hope that you will cover the loss(if they dont thieve the lot)
Buy an uzzi,1000 rounds per minute!(approx 300 sovs if you know where to go!)
atb
ged

CRAP!

A couple of claymore mines are much more cost effective, if less discriminate.

Nev

[Stonehead]

Two possible scenarios,
plant more in the hope that you will cover the loss(if they dont thieve the lot)
Buy an uzzi,1000 rounds per minute!(approx 300 sovs if you know where to go!)
atb
ged

CRAP!

A couple of claymore mines are much more cost effective, if less discriminate.

Nev

Even better, a Claymore can be command detonated from the comfort of your living room. Just set up some remote sensing, put the telly on, break out a couple of tinnies, sit back and wait for the entertainment to start...

Stonehead

[eeksypeeksy]

I'm sticking with lovely roses and adorable hedgehogs.

Lovely roses with thorns like barbed wire. Adorable slug-drunk hedgehogs trained to launch their spiny selves at intruders. "Get 'em, Spike!"

[hedgewizard]

See to that fence, definitely.

Failing that you can hide things in plain sight by buying different varieties. Would they be do quick to steal a spiny or bright yellow cucumber? (Shade netting also stops people from seeing into a greenhouse) Or half-inch a warty grey squash?

[ray7]

Could try puttng up a notice along the lines of

"Insecticide used twice weekly during the growing season. If you have eaten anything off this plot please go to the nearest hospital."

That may work if they can read.

[Wombat]

Good one Ray!

Nev

[Beek]

You know how people used to hunt tigers but sitting up a tree with a tethered goat below..... Well you used to be able to get shotgun cartridges with very light shot. Any comeback - you could alway claim you were ratting and you wouldn't be so far from the truth

[Brij]

Are you allowed to keep livestock on the plot?

If so, a well-trained dog would be good. I'm sure it could be trained to not pee on your plants, and you could bring it indoors at night/in cold weather.

The right breed would surely love a job like this, especially if there's enough room to run around all day.

Failing that, a kennel (obscure the entrance slightly) and a sign pretending that there's a dog would probably help... especially if you have a friend that will loan you their dog for a few hours every now and then, to make it really convincing.

[Beek]

Nice one Brij

A deplapidated old kennel with a rusty chain leading into it and attatched to a stout pole driven into the ground. A few dog turds. One of those dog barking sound effects that are triggered by doorbells. You could really go to town with a fake guard dog.

[Brij]

Or one of those things that they made after the Bug's Life movie came out. Motion-detectory things that shout at you. Used to stop me from stealing my sister's toys... and retrieving my clothes when they were out!

[Ellendra]

You could interplant them with cactus, and get prickly pears out of the deal :)

Or, one of my highschool biology teachers told the story once of how his father had discovered that their next door neighbor was stealing from their strawberry patch, so he mixed up an ecoli slurry and sprayed the patch with it, the neighbors only stole twice more before learning. The farmer just had to be sure his own berries were washed well before eating.

Another option for fighting fingerblight is to grow plants that no one recognizes as food, such as cornelian cherries or strawberry trees.