help needed 'buying' a wedding gift

[Susie]

oooo i just thought, i have an original 1950's guide to marriage i should give her that.

That sounds kind of fun, actually

[crowsashes]

yeah i have been reading through it and its amusing as it tells you how the woman should respond within a marriage and what is expected and the same for men. cant believe i found it up in the loft hidden amongst some old junk!

[ElizabethBinary]

yeah i have been reading through it and its amusing as it tells you how the woman should respond within a marriage and what is expected and the same for men. cant believe i found it up in the loft hidden amongst some old junk!

I have a sex book from around the same time.

My favourites are "Women don't have fantasies. They're not sexual."
And, "Ask the husband what he does for work. Ask the wife what she does outside the home."

[crowsashes]

id love to see that! i still cant help but giggle at " lie back and think of england" idea! makes us realise how far ( for most at least) we have come.

[Thomzo]

How much time do you have before the wedding. You could offer to organise something such as the invitations instead of a present. I did this for a friend and made some really simple card invitations. It only cost me a few pounds and several hours work but she was chuffed to bits with them.

Zoe

[citizentwiglet]

That's a lovely idea, Thomzo.

I must say, Crowsashes, and I hope you don't take offence - but your sister sounds awfully shallow. You went to the trouble of creating a cross-stitch for her daughter and she put it in the loft?? Look, if my sister had gone to the trouble of doing something like that I would have hung it. OK, it might not have been my 'taste', but it wasn't hers to put in the loft - it was her daughter's. She could have hung it her bedroom, surely? There is such a thing as 'tact' - your sister does seem to possess none at all!

To be honest, it sounds to me as though whatever you do isn't going to be good enough, if you are thinking about a gift. I would save myself the hassle, the headwork and the potential upset of her not liking or appreciating what you have spent time and money on, and just get her the vouchers. I liked the idea of ethical vouchers - that way you are not helping to fund Argos or Ikea or wherever so you can keep your ethics intact; and your sister gets money to spend.

Failing that, I'm sure I have a knitted 'crinolene lady' style toilet-roll cover (complete with cheap Sindy doll without legs, you know the sort) that my sister and I have (hilariously) been sending each other for about 20 years as a stocking filler at Christmas. As much as I would hate to part with Loretta-The-Lilac-Loo-Improver (although I only get her, much to my understandable chagrin, every other year), needs must, and I would love to see the look on your sister's face............

[crowsashes]

oh that is actually a really really good idea! citizentwiglet i will actually have to get one! i know the knitting shop round the corner sells them very cheaply, failing that ill put one together out of my odds and ends of yarn i have!

wont take me too long and i could actually give it with a roll of that really cheap nasty loo roll

she is a bit shallow but some people are. still i think ill go for the factor then the ewww omg! thing for the wedding gift, at least it will be remembered although for completely the wrong reasons reasons!

[Millymollymandy]

Oh yes go for the doll loo roll holder. My mother in law knitted us one years ago which we conveniently 'lost' during a house move. She still talks about it and I noticed that my brother in law actually has his displayed in the bog!!!

[Sally Jane]

I really sympathise with the quandary you're in - you and your sister seem to be so different, and whatever you do will probably be wrong. I guess the thing to do is to give her something that has a value ( to people who have a bit more depth than the average saucer anyway!) and where the intention behind it is positive, even if it hasn't cost a fortune.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it really is the thought that counts.
Unfortunately, not everyone shares the same tastes and values, but if the intention behind the gift is loving and positive, then you can rest assured that it's not you who is at fault if the thought is not appreciated!

Have you thought of buying them a couple of newspapers ( a tabloid and a broadsheet to cover both ends of the news/gossip spectrum) printed on the actual day of the wedding, and maybe a cheap celeb magazine, on the premise that it's a slice of the history behind the day they chose to get married? Also a CD single of whatever is Number One on the day. ( Assuming they still make CD singles... I confess that the last single I bought was black vinyl...) And maybe make/buy them a photo frame and give it to them along with a wonderful informal shot from the day that you've taken yourself.

Hey, buy a copy of Private Eye and The Times and store them somewhere safe - you'll have ready made Silver Wedding gift for them in 25 years time!

[bonniethomas06]

Perhaps a bit late crowsashes, but I love this website for unusual presents:

http://www.steptoesantiques.co.uk

In fact, I am thinking of doing something similar myself, as I am addicted to antiques auctions.

I know 'antiques' sounds expensive, but there are some cheaper and some expensive ones and some pieces are lovely. I think it is nice to give a present that has been around for tens or a hundred years, with all that history attached to it. For example I bought some 1920's seed packets (gorgeous colours and flowers on the cover) and had them framed for a gardener friend of mine as a present. Was quite gutted to part with them actually!

Hope whatever you choose is appreciated, but don't beat yourself up for buying vouchers. As was said before, at least you can choose the shop. I have a work colleague who is basically sponsored by Next and Marks and Spencer, and when I bought her a bunch of sweet peas (from my garden) on her b'day and left them on her desk, she was completely disinterested...you can't please them all.

[red]

doesn't sound like you can win here - if you sister can put things like a new bed on the list. I would buy her something for the home within your budget , and leave it at that. Really wouldn't bother with the effort of making something if she wont like it.

[liskeardjane]

Crowsashes - does your sister live in jannerland too? how about some Brittany ferry vouchers - she can add them to a bit of cash for a night away or just do some shopping in Roscoff. Eden Project voucher? or a day out at the national trust? adopt a tiger at sparkwell? adopt a donkey from the tamar donkey sanctuary. Some one bought me that for a donkey called snubs and I visited him three times in the year, once on my own without the kids just to see if he was ok!

[crowsashes]

wedding gift sorted, i dont have to get one!

thankfully she has said i dont have to get one as i pointed out i need to get somethings ( like somewhere to sleep) that are more important! ( i think there may have been a bit of after convo bitching on her part) but i made it clear it was a wedding gift or me at the wedding ! hate them ( weddings that is as theres soo much showing off, on my sis part altleast) as i have to get something to wear now. at least ive seen somthing that is multi functional. im just not one of those girls with a dress you see.

thanks for the help though! as im still gonna make her one of those loo roll tidy thingys !

[Millymollymandy]

Great that you've sorted things out with her and I wish I could be a fly on the wall when you give her that gift.

[crowsashes]

me too as shes going straight to her hotel after the wedding and leaving the gifts till she gets back! cant believe shes going to disney land ( with her kiddie) for her honey moon
where on earth did the idea of going away for a honey moon come from?