For expectant mums...

[Clara]

Doesn´t it just mean VBAC? Or "we´re going to keep obsessing over the fact that you´ve had a CS and aren´t we kind that we are going to "let" you try to have a natural birth when we´d really rather just carve you up"......or something.

The risk of ANY woman giving birth requiring an emergency CS is 2.7%, but they, rightfully, see that risk as being low enough not to deliver all baby´s by CS. The risk of a uterine rupture is 0.5% (and most of these are dehiscence rather than full rupture, which means no probs at all). So your chances of needing an emergency CS for anything are 3.2% vs 2.7% for Mrs Bloggs in the bed next door......there´s not much in it is there?

[grubbysoles]

The stats are pretty scary, aren't they?! I've really been made to feel like my body can't do this, and that I'm being a bit stubborn by even wanting to try it, but those numbers give me a lot of hope

Sunflower, I think scar trial and trial of labour are the same thing: ie, how long they will 'let' you labour for. In my maternity notes my military plan is all mapped out - trial of labour for 4 hours with constant monitoring, then CS if I'm not progressing. If I AM progressing, my trial of labour is allowed to continue for up to 8 hours before they wheel me off to be sliced open.

I had a good chat with Mr Grubbysoles about this last night. OUR plan is that I will go in when I feel ready, I will refuse to be laid flat on the bed for constant monitoring, and if I feel like I am coping well with the pain - and if the baby is showing no signs of distress - I will not be rushed. If something happens and I genuinely need to go to theatre, then so be it and I won't spend the rest of my life beating myself up about it, but it needs to be a REAL reason, not just everyone else's convenience. The 'bugger off' attitude that Citizentwiglet went for will certainly be put into practice!

I'm raring to go now! Come on, baby, you're cooked, come out, come out, before you get too big and they slice me open!

[Clara]

Sorry those stats weren´t meant to be scarey they were meant to put the risk of rupture in it´s place i.e. if it´s perfectly reasonable for a woman to labour when the risk is just under 3% (i.e. normal) why is it not safe when the risk is just over 3% (vbac) IYKWIM.

I think having OH on your side and prepared to fight your corner is essential, you have a difficult enough job to do and I think they will often use the partner to get their own way (i.e. give them the fear and make it feel like it´s their duty to protect their woman by making them "see sense").

I have no idea why time has got anything to do with this anyway.

[grubbysoles]

Yes, I felt the need to explain to him in advance why this is important to me. He certainly is one of those 'blokey' blokes who likes to protect his female! I had visions of him saying to me 'babe, just have the caesarian', so it's nice to know that he will not be going down that route. We've had a similar discussion regarding breastfeeding and why don't I 'just' bottlefeed the new baby from the start (I struggled with my first baby) and not mess about trying to breastfeed. Men really are a very different species, gawd bless 'em

What I meant by the scariness of the stats is that the numbers are so small, it is scary that they make such a big deal out of it. Your words and digits are very encouraging, Clara!!

[Clara]

Yes, I felt the need to explain to him in advance why this is important to me. He certainly is one of those 'blokey' blokes who likes to protect his female! I had visions of him saying to me 'babe, just have the caesarian', so it's nice to know that he will not be going down that route. We've had a similar discussion regarding breastfeeding and why don't I 'just' bottlefeed the new baby from the start (I struggled with my first baby) and not mess about trying to breastfeed. Men really are a very different species, gawd bless 'em

What I meant by the scariness of the stats is that the numbers are so small, it is scary that they make such a big deal out of it. Your words and digits are very encouraging, Clara!!

OK I see, got the wrong end of the stick - having a baby is tiring


My OH did a complete turnaround, from "got to have a CS" to being thankful to and proud of me for giving him the most incredible experience of his life (i.e. seeing his daughter being born). It helped having really lovely midwives who were really chilled but also completely honest about the HBAC - i.e. your chances are excellent but nothing is guaranteed.

Fortunately when it came to convincing him that this was something I needed to do, as he is a mountaineer and was about to set off for another Himalyan peak at the time, I was able to put the notion of risk and necessity into some perspective for him - that we all sometimes need to take some small risks in order to fulfil ourselves. The week after Nancy was born, seeing me and the way I was with her (as opposed to the stress and gloom after my first was born), he just said one day "now I totally understand why you had to do that".

You´ll be fine, I bet when you´re in the moment you won´t even think about the scar you´ll just be getting on with the task at hand.

Blessings, Cx

[lilypotter]

Banana tip is really good one. I must share it with my friend who is expecting in few days. Thanks a lot.