Late walking baby.....

[lubeyblue]

Hello,

just looking for advice and reassurance. I've got a gorgeous 16 month old daughter who shows no interest in walking. She's only recently started crawling in fact. Now, I wasn't too worried about this as I tend to adopt a laid back parenting style and want her to develop at her own pace and foremost to enjoy her infancy. Except that today I took her to be weighed and measured (cos she wouldn't nap and I'd run out of things to do) and the HV put the fear of God into me. She basically said that if she doesn't walk soon to bring her back for 'tests' and 'checkups'. I was too surprised to ask what they'd be checking or testing for.

Apart from not moving in the 'normal' way (combination of bum shuffling and high speed crawling) she's fine...babbling well, good dexterity etc. She sat really early at 5 months and then sort of ground to a halt. As soon as she could sit hands free and play, she was sorted thanks. The HV wasn't interested in how good her dexterity and reasoning skills were, only walking.

So, what I want to know is, firstly, have I done something wrong by not spending hours supporting her to toddle, holding her in standing etc. And secondly, do you more experienced Mummies and Daddies think I should worry? I bet if I was reading this I'd say no, but it's different when it's your bubba.

OK. Well, I'd welcome any thoughts. My DH is fuming..he agrees with me that there seems to be a startling lack of acceptance of diversity in babies...they're either normal or not. Yikes. I know that checks are there to spot probs early which is good but I feel they're a bit uncompromising when it comes to babies.
Well, let me know what you think guys....lol.

Lucy and Theo. xxxx

[Clara]

IME bum-shufflers get so adept at getting what they need that they often don't see the point in walking til later, a friend's daughter didn't get up until after her 2nd birthday.

My daughter wasn't a bum shuffler, but I reckon she didn't really try walking til she was 13 or 14 months, not that much earlier than your LO.

I would encourage her to get on her feet and walk with you see what happens, but don't sweat it yet.

[Annpan]

My E was 16 or 17 months before she walked - I haven't taken her to see the HV since she was 4 months - except for jabs. I was so sick of "she's too fat", she's too thin", "she's too short", "she's too tall", "she's too slow", "she's too clever"...... GIVE ME STRENGTH!!! When I do go to the doctor or HV I won't have her height measured or her weighed - she looks healthy, she acts healthy, she is healthy.

Unless your child has a problem, and you will know when she does, please stop worrying and tell the HV to stuff it, politley obviously

And you can always ask questions here, we've all been there, its part of being a parent.

[Green Aura]

My MIL told me that OH didn't walk until he was over 2. He was so adept at bum-shuffling that they had to put bricks round the wheels of his pram otherwise he shuffled the whole thing up the street!

I presume that if you do help her stand that she is able to hold her weight for a little and that her muscles are developing well - if so I'm afraid to have to inform you that despite having been able to walk for some 40 odd years OH still prefers to be on his bum )although he usually gets to his feet to move around these days).

I'm afraid that this sort of judgement by "professionals" will continue for some time. My daughter was accused of either lacking manual dexterity or being insolent and lazy (at the age of 5) because she wouldn't sit down and colour in a letter to learn her alphabet. She'd been able to read from 3 and was bored!

[snapdragon]

........I'm afraid that this sort of judgement by "professionals" will continue for some time. My daughter was accused of either lacking manual dexterity or being insolent and lazy (at the age of 5) because she wouldn't sit down and colour in a letter to learn her alphabet. She'd been able to read from 3 and was bored!

Agree totally - my second was held back a class (in Kindergarten ?!?) as he didn't colour inside the lines - but he was reading at home - and the KG wouldn't give him a book to read as they weren't allowed to teach them letters.
Combination of buff shuffle and crawling will delay walking IMHO as baby can move whilst seeing where they're going when they shuffle - and then crawl to get somewhere quickly.

[lubeyblue]

Oh thanks guys, that was just what I needed to hear. She does weight bear if I stand her on my lap and she'll pull up to kneeling to reach things off the sofa, but she's just not persistent...if she can't easily reach what she wants, she'll just go for something different. Ha!

I think it's such a shame that babyhood and childhood is being reduced to a series of targets, milestones and achievements....it also feeds into the pernicious baby comparisons.....eek. Whatever happened to babies and toddlers just enjoying life? I never did 'tummy time' cos she screamed and hated it, so she was late rolling and crawling, but who cares? I hate the idea of making her do things she doesn't enjoy....there's plenty of that waiting for her when she's older.

But, thankyou for all your replies, it's nice to hear some voices of sanity.....

xxxx

[Sally Jane]

Your little girl sounds as bright as a button, and so many others were 'late' walkers that it seems to me there isn't too much to get concerned about at this stage.

I agree with you completely that baby- and child-hood does seem to have been reduced to a series of milestones and targets, (as has education, sadly) and the professionals get bound up in what is today's version of 'normal' and forget that what is normal for one child may not be the same as for another! Thankfully, children are all different, and develop certain skills at their own rate, not according to the latest child-rearing handbook!

My daughter and her husband are expecting their first child at the end of January and I have been amazed by the different dos and don'ts that are the advice now, compared to my last pregnancy, 24 years ago.

I dare say if we looked at the advice that was given regarding pregnancy and childrearing 30, 50, or 100 years ago, we'd come to the conclusion that we would be better off employing our own judgement and common sense rather than taking the words of the professionals of the day as gospel!

By the way, I realise I'm probably well behind the times (as befits a soon-to-be Granny!) but what is tummy time? I missed that one somewhere along the way!

[Annpan]

'Tummy time' is just giving your baby some time to lie on her tummy, lots of babies like it, it is meant to help strengthen back and neck muscles (which is important) as they push themselves up on their arms and arch their back.... but some babies don't like it

My LO was getting tummy time since the moment she was born as it was always our favourite cuddling position (her lying in top of me, me lying on my back) doing 'skin to skin'* at the same time

My niece (3 months) has just started getting tummy time, but isn't doing anything....

I guess it is yet another thing that works for some and not for others.


*baby and parent's naked skin together - studies show it to be beneficial to a new babies health, heart-rate, breathing, etc...

[Esther.R]

I think it is 18 months before they start on the 'checkups'. Beth never walked independently until 16 months, she never crawled/bum shuffled at all, cruised round the furniture from a year old but took a few more months to walk on her own. tbh I wouldn't worry too much they all develop at different rates and effective crawlers/shufflers often walk late as they have a perfectly good way of getting about without walking.

Lucy (3 months) likes tummy time but Beth (now 3yrs) hated it.

[Sally Jane]

Thanks for the explanations of tummy time - as least I shall know what my daughter is talking about if it comes up in conversation, and I shan't look a complete idiot....well, not about tummy time anyway!

[lubeyblue]

Well, I think I looked a complete numptie when the HV started on about tummy time at her 8 month check..suggesting I make at least half an hour a day to help her exercise her muscles....made me wonder how any babies learn to walk in cultures where women return to normal life straight after the birth and carry the babies in slings all day...?
I completely agree with you that advice has become very faddish...what's in one day is out the next. So, I'll have to take the advice in the spirit it's meant and just go with the flow. I want her life story to unfold in her way, without me pressuring her...oh God do I sound weird? Have been on nites so very possibly.....

[Clara]

....made me wonder how any babies learn to walk in cultures where women return to normal life straight after the birth and carry the babies in slings all day...?

I reckon that babies that are carried tend to see the world in a different way - they are far more upright than babies in buggies and prams, they feel your movement as you walk, in fact they are part of your walking. Don't think it necessarily makes earlier walkers but certainly doesn't hold them back.

[growingthings]

I agree with the sling issue, it just means that life is seen from a different perspectiveand both my girls have never been big criers as the movement of your boby is a lot more soothing than a bugy (don't get me started!). As for walking my Tallest (3) was walking the day before her first birthday, but my Smallest (7mths) has only just thought about sitting up and will not entertain rolling and if I even dare lay her on her front - well so help me God! She wails and wails as she just wants to be upright.

Its true that a baby will always go with what works for them best, which IMO is always the quickest and easiest way to get somewhere / do something, and until they deem it necessary to learn to do things in another way they won't.

They are all so different and i think that we all have to have courage in our convictions to know whats right. Theres a lot to be said about instinct and about trusting our babies to know what they want. Demand feeding, weaning when baby indicates they want solid food etc, and surely how a baby wants to move is just an extention of all that, or maybe I'm mistaken but thats how I've been doing it for the last 3 1/4 years, not long I'll grant you but it seems to be working so far.

Trust your instincts if shes happy and healthy then thats all that matters.

Lorna x

[shell]

my friends little girl didnt walk for ages but she didnt need to,everything she wanted she just pointed to and her older brothers got it for her,clever female

[Ellendra]

My dad shares the story of a neighbor when he was growing up. They were worried because their youngest out of 12 kids was 8 years old and had never learned to talk. If she wanted something she'd point or grunt or something, and they were so experienced with babies that they'd know what she meant. The doctor said that it was because they were catering to her, and they should ignore her signaling until she learned to talk. (Not to starve her, just not to wait hand and foot)

The first evening they took the doctor's advice at the dinner table, she was pointing and fussing and being ignored. Then after about 20 minutes of that, they heard a grouchy voice saying "Gimme the mashed potatoes!"

She knew how to talk that whole time, but she didn't because she'd never needed to.