Is the grass really greener?

[contadino]

Life in Italy suits me better than life in the UK. However, the grass isn't greener - in fact it's only really green for at most 5 months, the rest of the time it's parched and brown. I never disliked the UK, it's just that I prefer it here. The same problems that the UK has also exist here - possibly to a greater extend as it's a much poorer area, but despite them I'm happier here.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

I never disliked the UK, it's just that I prefer it here.

My sentiments exactly. After almost six years here I would not want to move back, but for the most part that is because I would not want to uproot my children; the transition to a different education system would not be a pleasent one for them, I feel.

Moving to another country because one doesn't like the one one is in does not seem to me to be a good idea: it is better to run to somewhere than away.

What never ceases to amaze me is the number of people who arrive in France (for example) thinking that it is "better" than the UK - better education, cheaper living, nicer people etc, etc having done so little in prepartion for their move. Learning the language, for example or considering how to make ends meet. I no longer point out potental pitfalls to these people because they have the habit of taking any cautionary comment as an affront to their idea of France (or "abroad" in general) = paradise and get all uppity.

They generally last about 18 months here.

Moving overseas to live can be a tremendous adventure - and can be absolutely the right thing to do for some people - but the importance of research and good prepartion can not be overstated if it is not to turn into an expensive and dispiriting diaster.

[Millymollymandy]

What never ceases to amaze me is the number of people who arrive in France (for example) thinking that it is "better" than the UK - better education, cheaper living, nicer people etc, etc having done so little in prepartion for their move. Learning the language, for example or considering how to make ends meet. I no longer point out potental pitfalls to these people because they have the habit of taking any cautionary comment as an affront to their idea of France (or "abroad" in general) = paradise and get all uppity.

Would that be on specific forum I wonder? I've got bored of reading threads about France v. Britain. This is a nice refreshing thread and on this forum we have people like Ina who have moved to the UK from abroad so it's nice to hear from another point of view. Where's Stoney for some input?

As for me, like everyone else I think there's good and bad wherever you live. Mostly I live here because I could not afford the same size property/land in rural England, and have been away for long enough (13 years) that I'd be a bit scared to go back!

[gdb]

All countries have their upsides and their downsides.

I lived in France for a bit over 5 years. It has some very good points. And it has some very bad ones. I lived in the UK - Wales and England - for years and years. Both Wales and England have their good points. And their bad points. Now I'm in another country. And it too has it's plus points and it's minus points.

So..

Is the grass greener?

No. I dont think so. It may be cut in a different pattern or allowed to grow a little long in the corner of the garden. It may be unkempt or a bit overgrown. Or perhaps it's clipped to within an inch of it's life. But it's still grass. Wherever you are.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

Would that be on specific forum I wonder?

To be honest MMM, the only one I look at these days - and only very occasionally at that - is Complete France. But the heart has been torn out of that by the power-crazed moderators and it is a shadow of its former self. The others are just ongoing slagging matches. And that is why -ish stands out. I like this place.

[pizzamomma]

I just think that life is what you make it. Its up to you as an individual. I personally know of some people who have tried 2 or 3 different countries and still moan, possible they will not ever find wot they are looking. I would like to give it a try but there is a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, so I Make the best of wot I have here. Some people are just never satisfied.

We settled for buying a motorhome and going off on long trips in Europe to satisfy our needs for travel and then returning to the UK.

[SarahJane]

I have found this thread really interesting to read.

The reason is this;

I live in the UK, but my other half lives and works in Germany. We have been together over 3 years and for the last 12 months have been trying to decide whether he should move back here or whether I should move over there. He is English but speaks fluent german, and at the moment we spend our time flitting back and forwards to each other. We spend all our holidays together and weekends when we can.
The debate still goes on..... here? or there? I love it over there but am I seeing it through "holidays eyes?" as when I am there I am not at work and its all quality time. I am also worried about the language problem. I am trying to learn the language, albeit not very well. I can understand people speaking german far easier than speaking it myself.
If I sold my house here we could get something much bigger with a bit of land, which I cant afford to do here, but I couldnt do the job I do here, over there, it is hard enough doing it in english , I would never be able to do it in German.
The other thing is, although the kids are grown up and doing there own thing, I dont think I would like to be permanently in a different country and so far away from them.
My other half also has to think of the financial side of things, german pensions etc....

So for the time being it looks like we will be continuing as we are. Which is ok, but it would be so good to both be in the same place!

[Millymollymandy]

That's tough Sarah Jane but I think in your shoes I'd continue as you are. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that as well!

[SarahJane]

That's tough Sarah Jane but I think in your shoes I'd continue as you are. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that as well!

I agree in some ways "why mend it if it aint broke" , but, I also have come to the conclusion that to a certain extent you should live for the moment. Theres no right or wrong and theres no easy solution, but I dont want to one day have regrets.

Still as you say MMM its great that after nearly four years that my heart still skips a beat the minute I see him, and although the goodbyes are awful, the hellos are wonderful. x

[Millymollymandy]

Ahhhhhh that's so sweet!

[Cligereen]

Good topic,

I, like Shell am living in Rep. of Ireland. I have been here for 21 years. We have 2 lads, 17 & 13. The oldest is planning to move to UK next year. 13 yo will follow when he's 18 (he says). I'm straining at the leash to get back and my (Irish) wife is more than happy to go back too. So we'll all be in the UK by the time I retire in about 12 years.

When we left UK during Thatcher's rule, we were almost destitute despite both working full time. We earned a little more here in Ireland at that time (and still do) but money isn't everything. We have bought a house in UK ready for retirement and we use it as a holiday home for ourselves at the moment. It's also a great base for the increasingly regular trips to stock up on basics that are either unavailable here or just too expensive.

When we lived in UK we used to think that anywhere would be better than what we had to endure there, but we were wrong. You lucky folks still in UK - appreciate all the good things you have. As they say, 'You don't know what you have till it's gone'.

Can't wait to get back to civilisation.

[Plum Jam]

We have a foot in Scotland and a foot in the Lot Valley S of France. We live in Aberdeenshire: fabulous warm, caring, funny, intelligent people. (The ones we know anyway and all of so green !!!) Beautiful countryside, breathtaking landscape, fab education for my daughters. A lovely pace of life. I couldn't love it more.

I also have my dad and family in S of France. We adore it there. We've had huge thoughts about living there. Huge homesick pangs when we had a stint in a town in S W England. We nearly jumped, only two things stopped us, primarily provision of autistic specific education for my Autistic daughter in a rural area married to issues about her ability with the language barrier. The second being, if it did go wrong, could we afford to move back on to the property ladder here.

Then we returned to Scotland, only this time north east not west coast. We found every single thing we love about france, (except the french culture. ) The weather, we prefer scottish, we get cranky in the heat) Out door cafes here could get very cold but picnics here wrapped up warm are brilliant. I miss the brocants selling what's known as vintage in the Uk now. However there's 'vintage' stuff here and not at outrageous prices, (add euros the british will pay.) There's wonderful food down there yes, but there's wonderful local produce here.

We love France and probably would have moved if it were not concerns for our daughter. (We realize that education there is fab and there are probably loads of Autistic brits there but our gut instinct was No.) However we now have a terminally ill member of the family there and the service she's getting is phenomenal. All in all they're so pleased they're down there and would never return.

[carolinej]

I would like to move to France in the future.

I suffer from Seasonal Affected Disorder, so I would really benefit from the extra sunshine.

Also, in my current financial position, I have no hope of owning a house with a decent bit of land in Britain.

I know everything wont be perfect, but I think , for me, the trade off will be worth it.

cj

[The Riff-Raff Element]

I would like to move to France in the future.

I suffer from Seasonal Affected Disorder, so I would really benefit from the extra sunshine.

Also, in my current financial position, I have no hope of owning a house with a decent bit of land in Britain.

I know everything wont be perfect, but I think , for me, the trade off will be worth it.

cj

I hope you don't mind me making this suggestion: if you plan to move to rural France, make sure that you do your househunting Novemeber - February to see the country at its worst. I have no idea how well you know France, but rural winters here can be formidible, particularly in the central areas where temperatures regularly run way below the UK.

Coastal regions are generally more mild.

I have known people to move here after seeing the place in the summer only and being...disappointed.

[carolinej]

Jon, thanks for the reply.

It is really good advice.

It will be a few years before I can actually move there, but when i do, I intend to rent in the area I decide on for 6 months, to really get a feel for the place, including the climate.

I have a book which gives temperatures for everywhere in the world for every month, and I found the winter temperatures surprisingly low in most areas.

If it was just me, I'd probably move to the Costa del Sol to be with my son, but hubby cant cope with the summer temperatures there.

How long does the worse of the winter last where you are?

Does anyone have any suggestions for areas of France where there are milder winters, preferably with some sunshine.

cj