Very UNeco parenting, grrrr

[citizentwiglet]

Sorry Ann, missed your post there....thanks for the hugs, believe me we all need 'em at the moment!

Grrr..chocolate...no, I refuse to rant again, LOL! All I will say is that Tunnocks Snowballs and 2 year olds do NOT mix very well, and said confectionary alongside a packet of salted crisps does NOT constitute lunch. They do, however, constitute a completely ruined t-shirt (never one she's bought, of course - she makes him wear a bib when he's wearing one of her 'quality' items, LOL!)...
Marshmallow does VERY strange things to bottoms, as well....

You know what they say...you can choose your friends, but.......

[MrsD'ville]

I suppose it's all part of people having different lifestyles and having to live with other people's choices, maddeningly frustrating at times though it is. CT I would be so hurt by relatives melting away just when you need all the support you can get, that's really shocking, but by the sound of it just what you would expect from the people in question.

DH brought the whole thing up again over lunch today, it's obviously rankling hugely with him and the fact that XW has fallen £12,000 short with maintenance (while keeping her revolting OH in fags while he dosses) really doesn't help! Ultimately, DH and I do things as we see fit, which is all we can do really. We're happy to explain anything and everything to the children and the skids do question some of our approach (usually when friends have/do/watch things they don't) but our 6 yo DD just happily skips through life accepting her life as the norm, as I expect will this next wee one. When our children see things that don't fit into their world view they ask about it and it's our opportunity to explain what we think is important, smiling sweetly and explaining patiently while wanting to scream and rant about other people! Sometimes I think I must have a big black ball of swallowed ranting inside me, it can't be good for you but then nor I guess is constant ranting!

[Russian Doll]

citizen twiglet...my two boys dont have grandparents as such..my parents live in alderney so dont see them at all..although does talk on the phone...my hubbys parents..mum has mental problems and dad is quite ill...so alex has seen them four times maybe...it doesnt hurt him and he doesnt miss not having grand parents...however if you want ellis to have grandparents have you ever thought about adopting a granny...a frind did this and her daughter adores her adopted granny and the granny loves doting on her daughter as her grandchildren are in australia...just a thought

[circlecross]

oh, citizen twiglet, I felt really bad reading your post coz I brought the boys to Glasgow on the train tother day to transport museum. I could've taken your little guy for an hour or two seeing you are near there! I was shattered but I could've done it to give you some time! Next time...?

[citizentwiglet]

Oh yes, definitely next time, but we'll ALL go!!...maybe we could even prise Annpan away from her massive greenhouse (how's that going by the way, AP??!!)!!

Did they like the transport museum? Ellis absolutely adores the place - particularly the trams and the old gypsy caravan. Oh, and the Balamory Bus, of course.....

[circlecross]

well we went on the train, v.exciting, then on clockwork orange, v.v.exciting, then transport museum, then we met a friend in St Enoch's centre for coffee for half an hour.

So what did we do today?

Met ****, went in a fast lift and sat on Tractor Tom.


I think they enjoyed it! I was shattered, they were too, but worth it. Yes, next time, we'll all go. If anyone has any days they'd like to go get the suggestions in!

[Annpan]

Hey guys I nearly missed this one... of course I'd be up for it Keep me posted.

Isn't Cumbria a little far from Glasgow for a day trip?..... Please bare in mind that I am oblivious to geography south of the border... I'd have more luck pinpointing Abudabi than York

[circlecross]

ahh but we are in the celestial City! It is but a half hour walk to the station, with excited 4yo, and perpetually nosy toddler in buggy, then hour and half ish on train (thankfully with loo) and then but a short walk from Glasgow central to St Enoch's. I was suprised by how easy it is to get them there. I took Wilkinet and lightweight buggy, ds2 was in Nature Baby that day, for shame, but everything was easily stuffable in a rucksack, and a prepacked cold bag held sandwiches, drinks and snacks just in case. I was Supermummy!!! I am still recovering. Especially as we went this weekend as a b'day treat for ds1 to Newcastle so ds1 and dh could go and see "Thomas the Tank Engine Live the Musical". Hell. And I had to walk round Newcastle with ds2 while it was on. Hell also. I preferred Glasgow.

[Ratty]

Warning - RANT!

OH's mother returned from her annual jaunt around France & Spain in her gas-guzzling motorhome and brought the following for our 15 month old son:

12 t-shirts
4 pairs of shorts
2 coats
2 jumpers
2 hats
1 hoodie
Sheep toy, 6 books, 2 jigsaws, plush cushion, plush mini car, wooden car, wooden box game.

I was a combination of angry (she's been asked many many times in recent years to NOT do this) and upset (why can she not respect our wishes? and how many of these clothes were made in sweatshops?) She seems to think its ok to justify this over-spending by saying "oh they were all cheap" I don't want to seem ungrateful but our son really doesn't need all this - my mum used to work for a well-known high street store who sell organic cotton/fairtrade clothing which she gets a staff discount for, I can make clothes quite happily myself and I still have many of our oldest son's baby clothes. She seems to just blindly buy all this stuff - how the heck can he wear all these t-shirts?! - with no regard for whether we actually need/want them. What we really do want/need is a special baby-sized sleeping bag as he will be sleeping in his own section of our tent this summer - I'm now hoping to be able to sell some of this excess of clothes at the weekend's NCT Nearly New sale in order to raise the funds for it. But how stupid and annoying and gah!!!!

Thanks for reading this far if you have!

[Helsbells]

Ratty, I feel for you! Does she think you cant dress him, or dont buy him things?!? It seems she has bought him a whole wardrobe, and the rest!

[Ratty]

Thanks for your reply Helsbells. She is an interfering cow. Apparently she said to OH "don't you think A should have a routine?"!!! The cheek of it! He DOES have a routine, just that she insisted we see her for dinner 3 nights on the trot so it knocked his routine out of sync with later nights than usual! I really really can't stand the woman and only put up with her for OH's sake. I think she tries to buy people with gifts and it upsets me.

In better news, one of the bags of clothes had receipts in and my mum returned them so we got £17 which went straight on the baby-sized sleeping bag

[citizentwiglet]

PMSL....sorry Ratty, I don't mean to laugh; but are our MILs related? Or, in fact, one and the same?! Mine also rattles on constantly about 'routine', despite doing her utmost to disrupt his at every turn. If we are summoned over there during Ellis' usual naptime and I hear 'aww, he's tired' ONE MORE TIME, I swear I will do something I regret. Of COURSE he's tired you daft old bat, THIS IS HIS NAPTIME! This is all because they (the outlaws) cannot possibly entertain the concept of changing THEIR routine (of going shopping, usually) by an hour or so accomodate the fact that the wee man is generally shattered by the time they are ready to receive us graciously into their home.
He is now apparently a prime candidate for Rickets because he won't eat meat (believe me, I've tried...), I'm not 'trying hard enough' to potty train him (he was only 2 in April and still has no concept of needing to go..). Conversely, I'm too strict with him because I insist he sits and eats at the table rather than dragging half-chewed sandwiches all over their house and I don't allow him fizzy drinks, and, my all time favourite: ' We'll bloody know it when the next one comes along!'.

When she found out we were having another boy, I was told she was 'really hoping for a grand-daughter', and then started the schpeil about 'A daughter is a daughter all of her life; A son is a son till he takes a wife'. Thanks for that, love. Made me feel smashing that did. Fortunately at that point OH stuck his baldy head round the corner and wisely stated that 'A son is a son till he takes a wife' because their mums do their utmost to ostracise any potential future wives, so is it any wonder?

Shut her up, anyway. For now.

[Helsbells]

Hehe what a great come back from your OH citizentwiglet, thankgoodness you have him on your side.
I envisage having all these problems what my OH na di have kids. I am already is a very unusual situation where my OH' s mum brings me a cookery book every time we see her, odd! Its becoming like a running joke between me and the OH. I am running out of space for them now!
Also last time we visited she gave us a box of food to take home with us, almost like an emergancy rations type box, like we are poor starving people who have no food.
I am sure she is jkust trying to be nice, but I sense problems in the future if she buys things for our children that I dont agree with.

[Annpan]

Why can't they just accept that they had their shot at f&%*ing up a generation, it is our turn now.

My mum does the same, nothing I ever do could possibly be right. Yet when I phoned her in tears asking for help establishing a routine, she laughed and said that I had to figure it out for myself.

I think the best all us mums can do is remember this, and not do it when we have grandkids.

[citizentwiglet]

I've already warned OH that the minute I start getting like that it's time to put the pillow over my face.....