Trying to keep the peace...

[Alice Abbott]

We've just had a visit from our lovely English neighbour (they let us use their electricity supply, wifi connection plus a freezer in their barn in exchange for various little jobs).

She was in what I can only describe as in high dudgeon concerning the only other British neighbours in the village. I'm a) not particularly good at giving advice in these matters (I'm liable to fly off the handle if seriously pushed and then forget things once I've made my feelings known) and b) not really inclined to get into arguments which are nothing to do with me when all I want to do is get along with ALL the neighbours.

This neighbour has a lovely cat and she is always playing with the other neighbour's cat. They occasionally venture into our garden but are wary of the dog, and now the ducks who seem not to like them. The hens totally ignore them, just giving them a hard stare now and again. Apparently neighbour A's cat had fleas. So she went to the vet and bought (at great expense I understand) some flea treatment which is applied to the nape of the cat´s neck. She treated both of them as they are so often together. But she didn't tell neighbour B what she had done. Then neighbour B also went to the vet and bought similar treatment for her cat and treated that one (assuming neighbour A would do the same for hers). In conversation neighbour A mentioned she had in fact treated both of them. Apparently this stuff is quite toxic and now one of the cats has had a double dose. Then there is the question of dosing someone else's cat without their permission. I gather strong words were exchanged and now they are apparently each simmering and not speaking!

I feel obliged to pour oil on troubled waters somehow. I'm not sure who I empathise with and personally I would have just found it quite funny and forgotten about it. The double-dosed cat seems perfectly OK so no harm has been done. I just made her a cup of coffee and suggested it wasn't really worth getting upset about. What would anyone else have suggested?

I must admit it made me check our dog over very closely - not a flea in sight. Are dog fleas different to cat ones?

[KathyLauren]

I just made her a cup of coffee and suggested it wasn't really worth getting upset about.

It sounds to me like you did the best possible thing. It isn't your business to get involved in, other than to listen understandingly to your neighbour's griping.

[Martina]

For what it's worth, I agree with Keith. Stay out of peoples troubles and be sympathetic to all. You did the right thing.

However, to the dosing thing, I would resent someone medicating my dog without my imput or permission. Don't know if I would make a big deal about it though. Maybe I would just let (assumingly) well-intentioned nieghbour know that I prefer to see to my animals vet needs myself.

Martina

[Graye]

I agree with the other comments. She must have been WELL worked up to come round and try to get you onside too! Just keep well out of it, they'll sort it out. It reminds me of a neighbour who once called to report some terrible wrong my son had done to hers. As they were by then happily playing together on our drive I suggested it was not worth worrying about!

I suspect one of her main concerns was the implication that she had fleas in her house (ie on her cat) and was doing nothing about it. A bit like being caught with your sink still full of yesterday's washing up or something? Some people get really worked up about stuff like that...

[lovelygreenleaves]

Ooh dear, what if the cat had had an allergy or medial condition that the neighbour didn't know about? I hope all involved soon make up

[Cloud]

It's so easy to be meaning well but doing the entirely wrong thing. I'd keep out of it unless asked directly, and then mealy try to point out only the positives - how well meaning the actions were and how (hopefully) no harm has been done. And yes, best done over a cup of tea a biscuit.

[Millymollymandy]

If Neighbour A had told Neighbour B what she'd done (or preferably asked for permission first as she didn't know that the cat didn't have an allergy to the flea treatment) it wouldn't have blown up anyway. Sounds like they weren't exactly on speaking terms in the first place!