mmmmm a bit private but i didnt know where else to post

[Russian Doll]

okay here goes..mods feel free to move this if in wrong place

since the birth of my youngest zachy i have lost all will to as we say perform duties in the bedroom...i just have no desire whatsover...ive been to the docs and he has said its hormonal and wants me to try hrt..which im tottaly against tbh as me and false hormones dont go..i turn into the incredible hulk on the pill lol

anywyas thats the background my question is do you guys know of any natural ways i can do this...any herbal remedies foods etc that may give me bak my zing

ive tried oysters asparagus etc and they didnt work..also cant eat choc anymore as it causes major outbreaks

so any ideas how i can get the thing back and put a smile on my hubbys face lol

[Silver Ether]

The first thing is your body behaves like this after babies as its a good way to get your body back in shape ready for more babies ...

I find zinc citrate is good ... easy to take and absorb. there is also a "power food" Maca that helps it does help other stuff to, but its expensive.

Make sure your eating a good diet as vitamins can play a part in loss of sex drive .... You may find a kick start by reading a lusty novel or looking at a boys mag.

[John Headstrong]

we found a remarkable thing that really helped, it was called "a weekend off"

[the.fee.fairy]

I read a book a while ago and it was talking about the female climax. It said that you need to take soem time to turn yourself on, on your own. Read some er0tica, watch a good film, have a bit of a feel when in the bath etc. Then you ca 're-teach' your body to accept arousal. THe more aroused you are on a regular basis, the more aroused you will become. Therefore, 'enjoy yourself' regularly and after a while, let hubby join in and see what happens.

Also, remember that giving birth is extremely stressful both mentally and physically, and your body might just be telling you that it needs a little more time to adjust to the stress.

Good luck...and please don't post the sordid details!

P.S. I find that there's a magazine called Forum that's available at all good newsagents for £4.99 and its a really good read...

[mrsflibble]

have you thought of phytoestrogen giving plants? "natural" HRT.
(numbers are ammounts of pytoestrogens, the higher the number the better the effect)

Flax seed (health food shops sell these, i use them in granola so keep a bag in the freezer. 1 tablespoon per day is good for lady troubles)
379380
Soy beans (now available in loads of places as a vegetable, not just an alternative milk source)
103920
Tofu (use it wisely, marinade it, it mings on its own imho)
27150.1
Soy yogurt
10275
Sesame seed (also freeze incredibly well)
8008.1
Flax bread
7540
Multigrain bread
4798.7
Soy milk
2957.2
Hummus
993
Garlic
603.6
Mung bean sprouts (available in bags from supermarket, look in the stir fry section)
495.1
Dried apricots
444.5
Alfalfa sprouts
441.4
Dried dates
329.5
Sunflower seed
216
Chestnuts
210.2
Olive oil
180.7
Almonds
131.1
Green bean
105.8
Peanuts
34.5
Onion
32
Blueberry
17.5
Corn
9
Coffee, regular
6.3
Watermelon
2.9
Milk, cow
1.2

[Russian Doll]

ta guys ill try all that...fee ive never seen forum before i used to read scarlett

zinc citrate where would i get that from please

john....when do weekends off happen....lol

oh and fee i promise no details

[Millymollymandy]

Good luck with all the ideas here R Doll but I just had to mention that Forum magazine is a blast from the past - that's the first dirty magazine I ever read as my friend found her dad's hidden stash when we were about 12 or 13. Boy was it an eye opener!

[Milims]

This is one of the things I really love about this site - no matter what the subject it's treated with the same courteous, sensible, holistic approach!

[mrsflibble]

i did think about mentioning the amazing curative properties of honey, but i didn't think it'd work too well as...you know...lube....

[StripyPixieSocks]

I can highly recommend a book named "Women on Top" by Nancy Friday and there's also a couple of others like it now as well.

Basically it's a book of womens sexual fantasies...

[mrsflibble]

YES YES YES NANCY FRIDAY!!!! you know the story bit in scarlett? it's a book of those lol!!! women on top
my secret garden
men in love
forbidden flowers....to name the main ones.


i need a new copy of men in love cos my copy has fallen apart lol!! they should make them with a ring style binding cos paperbacks just dont last long enough lol!!!! (have had it 9 years...)

[Green Aura]

I wonder if a part of the problem is that you're worrying so much about it.

I think that John hit the nail on the head when he said a weekend off - from everything

Have you got any chance of a few days away without the kids and OH?

A good book (smutty or not ), a long relaxing bath, some fresh air and some good food would do you as much good as any supplements or the like.

You'll feel like a million dollars in no time and come back ready for action.

[Silver Ether]

zinc citrate where would i get that from please

Decent health food store or here http://www.yournutritionshop.co.uk/ This is where we get ours as our lad has to take it for a sydrome ...

[cathode]

Hi Russian Doll,

As you may have gathered, this is pretty normal. Most of it is pure exhaustion, plus there is this little creature using up all your energy. Incidentally that can satisfy a lot of your need for physical contact. It's hard to go from being parents to being lovers again.

Then your body is physically reeling, coming off an oestrogen high and full of other hormones, especially if you are breastfeeding. Again, it's a physical drain.

I'm shocked at your doctor's response. It's normal for the body to take up to 2 years to re-establish a 'normal' cycle. There are lots of reasons your hormones could be out of balance - perhaps just on the day the test was taken. The male-dominated medical profession is pretty rubbish when it comes to women in general and cycles in particular. I doubt you are going into menopause - in any case you couldn't tell or sure till things have settled down.

Hormones may or may not be linked to desire / libido. Good hormonal balancers for women include lady's mantle (alchemilla, the pretty scalloped plant, common in the garden, but make sure it's the right type before using or buy from a herbal supplier) or raspberry leaf (any old rasp will do, wild especially potent). Depends on how your periods are - pm me if you want to chat privatly.

If all else is sorted and it's still not there, all advice above should be tried! Night off, me time, and if necessary damiana (just a few drops) can put a bit of zing back for both of you.

Been there! It will come back, in the moments away from being mum!
Cath

[Urban Ayisha]

i've experienced the same problem and i know its incredibly frustrating so my heart really goes out to you. it is shocking that your doctor would suggest HRT!!! what a p*ll*ck!!!! it helps if u can talk about it with yr hubby as you need to be understood. i was reading a book that wasnt smutty per se (zadie smith) but did have a sex scene in it and that was when i first felt it kick back in. obviously, hubby doesnt get it as much as he'd like to (does any man?!) but a year on from the birth of LO i'm slowly getting my libido back, so theres hope yet, just dont rush yourself, loss of libido is a natural contraceptive that is probably all too welcome soon after the birth of a child!! are u breastfeeding? i was up until LO turned one and til then my boobs had been a no-go area for hubby but i'm thinking that could change soon too...
as for supplements, i've used one called horny goat weed in the past which i got from H&B. it was pricy, but helped. not sure if your allowed to take it when BFing though but could help!!

give yourself time and just know that your not alone. loss of libido is incredibly common post-partum, but that doesnt make it any easier on a relationship! i know how u feel!!