Quotable you

[sleepyowl]

The best things you've said, no using quotes from other people please

To Andy Hamilton who was eating roast chestnuts at the time 'Your hands are a lovely shade of homeless'

At work whilst they were trying to think of a nickname for me in reference to them thinking I'm like a walking encyclopedia (I feel my knowledge is more specialised & generally useless except in pub quizzes) 'I'm not comfortable with the the nickname Britanica, I would rather be called Wiki because it always leaves room for mistakes'

[MuddyWitch]

To my daughter, then aged three, after telling her off for stomping on an ant & her saying "Sorry"

"Don't appologise to me, it's the ant with the headache!"

MW

[Milims]

Me to and english teacher who was describing Saturday night in teh casualty dept of the general Hospital
ET: Every third word was the F word and his girlfriend was pretty articulate as well
ME: Yeah - as articulate as a lorry!

[JulieSherris]

Right back when my 2 eldest girls were very small, I used to get really fed up of their 'sheep talk'.... as in Mu-u-u-u-ummm... Mu-u-u-mm.... and so on every day...

So if they were calling me from another room, I used to answer them with 'I'm not here, I've gone to scotland with a black man'....
And you know, they usually shut up after that... it became a family code for'shut up now, Mum's had enough'
7 yrs later, my youngest soon learnt the family code too....

Imagine my amusement a short while ago when Leah was doing the Naa-a-a-a-anneeeeee call.... & I said it - only to find her in tears several minutes later when I went into the living room & her face lit up... 'Oh Nanny, you've come back!!'

So, yeah, according to my kids, THAT's what is going on my gravestone, apparently...

[mrsflibble]

I was once sat outside my flat outer door, collecting ants in an old cake decoration box for my ant farm. one of my nrighbours came up and said "what are you up to?" I amswered "I'm collecting ants", completely matter of fact like it's a normal every day occurance, and i didnt offer any explanation.

she left quickly and blanked me in future meetings. before the ant episode i'd at least had the oddd hello from time to time lol!!

[Annpan]

My Mum tells me that when I was about 4 and we were on the bus coming back from visiting my Dad's grave (just realised this might get people down....) She looked at my hands and they were filthy. She asked me why they were so dirty.
"Cause I was digging in Daddy's grave" I said, loud as anything, as if it was the most normal thing in the world
My Mum said that the faces turning round to look at her ranged from Shock, to Sympathy, to Disgust.... and she couldn't help but laugh.