P**sed-off member

[Big Al]

You know, I think I've been in here only once since I posted that - what a stupid thing to do!. I do believe that you lot are probably one of the most supportive groups on the net. Anyway - sorry to have dumped that little load on you. It's my problem, and I'd probably drunk too much wine. But thanks for all your thoughts - it's really is nice to know that someone cares when you're dealing with the blue meanies.

Not at all stupid MKG. This group like a lot of others on the net probably represent the general make up of the world. Some are bitter and twisted, some genuine, some poor, some rich etc, etc.

The one thing that binds us all together is, in the main the fact that we are anonymous so we can ask for help in our darkest hours and get it and likewise we can offer help without a worry of it coming back to bite our bums.

I hope you sort it out with your family, I really do but at the same time don't let it cut you deeper than you can repair... It's not worth the mental or physical torture.

[Milims]

MKG - first of all hugs. I have no idea what caused your separation from your family in the first place, but it clearly causes you pain now.
Oddly enough I find it very reassuring and refreshing to find out that there are so many of us in the same boat. For what ever reasons contact amongst families has been ceased. For me the crux of the matter was that my parents behaved towards me, my children and my partner in a way that I would not accept from a friend, and just because someone is related to you by blood doesn't make that kind of behaviour any more acceptable. That said, if my parents were able to revisit the situation and realise that their behaviour flew in the face of every principle they taught me, there may be some hope of reconciliation - but until they start moving they aren't going anywere. I held out the olive branch but they refused to accept it on anything but their own terms.
I guess what I'm trying to say - in a very clumsy way - is, it may be worth revisiting what ever it was that caused the rift and looking at it with refreshed eyes. Then, if you feel that it's appropriate and that you are able, offer the olive branch. If it's accepted then you are on the road to reconcilliation, with the added wisom of hindsight. If it's refused, then you know that you have opened your heart and behaved in a loving manner, to people who are clearly important to you, and they have made their own choice. Either way you have taken steps to move on from this situation.
Don't worry about having a bit of a rant - I know I've done it several times on here , but when you feel that way and need to have a sounding board, to hear the voice of reason, to have things looked at from another perspective and to benefit from different experience, where else do you turn but to your friends!

[hedgewitch]

Don't worry about having a bit of a rant - I know I've done it several times on here , but when you feel that way and need to have a sounding board, to hear the voice of reason, to have things looked at from another perspective and to benefit from different experience, where else do you turn but to your friends!

Here Here!

[contadino]

For me the crux of the matter was that my parents behaved towards me, my children and my partner in a way that I would not accept from a friend, and just because someone is related to you by blood doesn't make that kind of behaviour any more acceptable.

That's precisely it. You get people harping on about how 'family bonds' are tighter than any other, but bad behaviour is bad behaviour, and shouldn't be tolerated. Nowadays, years after I ditched them, I get more fed up with people telling me I should let it slide "just because they're your family."

Sorry, it doesn't help the original poster. It's just that sometimes you have to either accept the consequences of your actions, or the decisions family members (including yourself) have made.

(MKG, that last comment's not pointed at you at all, so please don't take it that way. I'm just generalising.)

[the.fee.fairy]

Family feuds...is there a family without one?

My grandparents haven't spoken to my uncle for a good 10 years now...Or my cousins...

I loved my uncle and Auntie (still do), but the feud meant that it was difficult to contact them withut upsetting my dad. In the end we did it in secret without him knowing. He knows now, but it was a difficult time having to lie to my dad to see my uncle and auntie.

So i do sympathise with you about the whole feud thing, and i hope that your contact is as happy as ours was. If its not, then we'll all be here to support you!