Please and thank you

[contadina]

I'm always getting told off by neighbours for thanking them for things. Apparently in Italy, or maybe it's just southern Italy, you only thank strangers. I've told them there's no way I can stop doing something that would make my mum cross and they accept this as an excuse for my need to say thank you all the time.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

Hey - my daughter lost her toy frog in Breda in 1979. You haven't seen it, have you, Riff Raff?

Would it have been about three inches long and orange? If so, I think he is now known as Barry and was running a café called "De Bommel" (happy memories there) back in 1992. Last I heard he is mayor of the place.

[Martin]

I'm all for splendid "over the top", good old-fashioned manners - a lady enters the room, you shoot to your feet, greet her with a warm smile, and offer her a seat - likewise on public transport.......it costs nothing, it oils the wheels of civilisation!
A small word of warning though - there are times that you may have to temper it (when in the company of Babylonians) - being a country dweller, I wished a collection of Stuart Security operatives a cheery "good morning" as they lolled attractively in their black ss uniforms and shades on their black ss land rovers at the entrance to the caravan field a couple of Glastonburys ago........take my word for it - they don't comprehend politeness - probably something to do with the steroids or "uppers"............

[Stonehead]

I wished a collection of Stuart Security operatives a cheery "good morning" as they lolled attractively in their black ss uniforms and shades on their black ss land rovers at the entrance to the caravan field a couple of Glastonburys ago........take my word for it - they don't comprehend politeness

A friend of mine was much given to wishing the likes of them a good evening/good morning and accompanying the best wishes with a hug and a kiss.

Said friend bore quite a resemblance to Old Tree Man...

[Thurston Garden]

Its lack of manners in shops that twists my melon. Usually the spotty oik brigade that are the worst, but older staff are often just as bad. They think I am deaf:

Me: One organic free-range fair trade brown loaf and no carrier bag please
Youth: Eh One pound ten.
Me: Sorry?
Youth: One pound ten.
Me: Sorry?
Youth: ONE POUND TEN
Me: ONE POUND TEN PLEASE..proffers one pound ten in coppers and toddles off

Nnnnngg!

[Smooth Hound]

I was brought up to say please and thankyou, sometimes i even find myself saying thankyou and then realise that there was nothing to say thankyou for My children were brought up to say please and thankyou as well, but my grand children dont seem to be expected to say thanks, and i have a problem getting them to say thanks, i seem to have to nag them, i am sure they are bored of hearing it, but not as bored and disappointed i am when they dont.

[the.fee.fairy]

Yaaargh. Lack of manners really gets to me.

I was also brought up to say please and thankyou, and it really really irritates me when other people don't!

Especially, when i hold the door open and they swan through like i'm their slave, or when i do something for someone and they just turn their head, ro ignore me.

[Smooth Hound]

When you are in the city or town after coming from the country it can be quite confusing when you are completely ignored in shops, i was brought up in the country and you get used to giving people a nod or a wave even when you walk past them , i often find myself nodding hello and people i am sure think i am completely mad, after a couple though i remember and think sod them, almost like ive taken it personally. I suppose its different in towns, although i havelived in towns 25 plus yrs ago , on and off, and i am sure it was different then. Sign of the times i suppose, mind you when you think that people in cities can be robbed , mugged or even raped in public parks whilst people walk past not wanting to get involved, late for work, or just conditioned to not see the madness going on around them, then i suppose its hardly surprising they dont say please , thanks or even acknowledge you.

[Dori]

I think its a real shame that manners seem to be a thing of the past for many people.

I have been using Freecycle lately, and I have not yet had anyone post back saying received with thanks. I know there are people who have manners, but they seem few and far between!

Living in the country when I was growing up, to the age of about 14, it was lovely, very friendly, but now living in a town, as you have said in previous posts, you don't even get an acknowledgement for holding a shop door open for people to swan through, without a smile, a word, or even a thought!!

[Thomzo]

I got really fed up with our local freecyclers. The standard resonse I got to an offered post was along the lines of "I'll have it when can I collect?". In one post I actuall said that it will be offered to the first person who says "please". I got quite a few positive responses to that comment!

I do try always to say please and thank you and I find it really quite rude when people don't.

Zoe

[theabsinthefairy]

I have found generally that manners are actually better here in the countryside in France, children are polite, being served in shops is very pleasant indeed, everyone is courteous.

We all say please and thank you A LOT - especially when we are grasping at straws trying to explain something in limited French, and the server will bend over backwards to help you - and this level of service is more common we have found here than in the UK.

Email, texts and on line auction sites all seem devoid of please and thank yous, as are a lot of forums, you go to a lot of trouble to answer someone's technical question and never get any response (this is particularly relevant to an Anglo/French information site which some others on here may recognise).

I admit to tending to use 'thanking you in anticipation' when requesting something formally, but will follow up with a proper thank you - especially as it is actually easier via email and text.

I had cause to thank a local supermarket chain's restaurant staff when my daughter was a breastfeeding baby for their level of service as I was so impressed. I wrote into the store specifically naming staff and how they had assisted me, and received some very welcome vouchers in response!
- more than I received when I had a complaint to make elsewhere at another time for the dangerous state one of their aisles was in - after picking up some poor pensioner who had slid and cut herself on the broken glass left lying around while the assistant was off having a chat with her mate!

Good manners costs nothing - yet seem to be fading in recent years - I am in my 30s also so maybe it is a generational thing.

[mrsflibble]

I seem to be the only person on my local freecycle who says thanks for stuff via the site.

[Green Rosie]

I'm also a strong believer in getting my boys to write thank you letters - if some-one has gone to the bother of getting them a present I think it is the least they should do. Hopefully it also makes them appreciate their gifts that bit more as well. Sadly though too many of my friends don't seem to agree with this habit