Please and thank you

[Andy Hamilton]

I was brought up to always say please and thank you. In fact it was practically beaten into me. As a result I tend to expect other people to have the same simple manners. It is always nice when people do thank you for things.

I have found that a lot of time people are ready to say please as in please do this for me but a thank you is less likely. Is it me or this just a little rude? I guess I am talking about people who email me and ask a question then don't say thank you to my reply. Often worse I will get a second email requesting something else! I tend to ignore the 2nd email if there was no thanks on it.

I do make cultural exceptions for this and its by no means a rule. Just annoys me a little!

[ina]

Me too. And then I catch myself out not saying thank you myself for something... And try to make up for it!

[Andy Hamilton]

Me too. And then I catch myself out not saying thank you myself for something... And try to make up for it!

me too!

[Welsh Girls Allotment]

please and thank you goes a vey long way - Its suprising how many people are taken aback when my daughter who is four says please and thank to them - they always say how nice it is because they dont hear kids say it any more

[mrsflibble]

my little girl can say both please and ta (thankyou is a bit beyond a 2 year old).
I was brought up to do the same.

[tim&fatima]

Thank you, for this interesting thread Andy.

It is sad to think that common courtesy is going out of fashion. I'm 34 and it was drummed into me and my brothers and sisters as children.

I think with the e-mail side of it, it is simply that e-mails are just so quick and impersonal. A conversation via e-mail loses it's intimacy.

[snapdragon]

I always try to learn the equivalent in another language when travelling

it can go a long way

and I keep an email file at work for thank-you mails, cheers me up on a bad day

Nice thing -- I bought a spare part for the bike from ebay - it arrived today and I posted 'feedback' and sent a bay-mail to the seller thanking him for the fast service - he immediately mailed back thanking me (in txt spk) for the feedback - that really pleased me

[snapdragon]

..............I'm 34 and it was drummed into me and my brothers and sisters as children................

you're the same age as one of my sons - I'm one of the parents that drummed

[Andy Hamilton]

..............I'm 34 and it was drummed into me and my brothers and sisters as children................

you're the same age as one of my sons - I'm one of the parents that drummed

I wonder if it is an age thing, I'm 34 this year.

[ina]

I think with the e-mail side of it, it is simply that e-mails are just so quick and impersonal. A conversation via e-mail loses it's intimacy.

I don't know - I find that exactly because e-mails are so quick, it's so easy to send a little thank you, even if otherwise you wouldn't go to the bother of writing a letter! Quick they are - yes; but they don't have to be impersonal.

[ina]

I always try to learn the equivalent in another language when travelling

My French is pretty basic - but I was once told I could say merci fluently!

[Millymollymandy]

I can say danke! mille grazie! gracias! and.... um um oh dear I've already forgotten what it is in Dutch, where I lived for 20 months!

[The Riff-Raff Element]

I can say danke! mille grazie! gracias! and.... um um oh dear I've already forgotten what it is in Dutch, where I lived for 20 months!

Dank U wel! If we are being formal, and if I remember correctly. I lived in Breda for two years many moons ago.

I agree. Courtesy seems to be a dying art. Which is why, I think, it can get one such a long way these days. The girls have learned a very formal way of asking for things in French (start a request with "Puis-je.."). Very old fashioned, very polite and whenever they ask for a straw or somesuch in a café they almost inevitably get a sweetie with it. I think that is called positive reinforcement.

[red]

I dont think the actual words 'please' and 'thankyou' are essential.. so long as the meaning is there..
for example you could say 'excuse me, but could you pass the salt' and be a lot nicer than 'salt please!'
and although I try to learn please and thankyou in different languages.. know it in German French Italian and Dutch - a willing smile will often cover the same area. If i don't know it in the right language.. I will say it in English and try to convey the meaning.

with emails etc you can imply such things with smilies. I like to think of myself as someone who uses please and thankyou though.

my son sent out 'thankyou emails' after Christmas

[MKG]

Hey - my daughter lost her toy frog in Breda in 1979. You haven't seen it, have you, Riff Raff?