Funny very funny

[paradox]

This was posted on another site i use and i found it so funny that i thought i would share it with you all.

Its about time someone gave T***o some hassle and this sure beats leaving all your packaging at the customer services desk.


> This letter was recently sent by T***o's Head Office to a customer in
> Oxford:
>
> Dear Mrs. Murray,
>
> While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the T***o Loyalty
> Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
> your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
>
> Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
> surveillance cameras:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> trolleys when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
> products aisle.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
> stove.
>
> 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
> began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
> picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
> Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
> were.
>
> 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
> "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
> using different size funnels.
>
> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
> "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
> the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
>
> And; last, but not least:
>
> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
> then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
>
> Yours sincerely,
>
> Charles Brown
>
> Store Manager
>

You could think up a variation on the theme!

[Shirley]

LOL You mean it's not true??

[Paddy's mum]

If I remember correctly, Jethro once told this joke, which also featured a well known store.

A man with impotence problems went to his doctor. The doctor prescribed. One week later, the patient returned and reported progress.

Further enquiry revealed that the man had rediscovered his libido. He felt fruity all of a sudden, Mrs was willing, and so he bent her over the freezer and had his wicked way with her. Both parties were entirely happy with their refound lovelife, but the man looked rather glum.

The doctor asked what could possibly be the problem. Patient replied "well, it's all your fault - you prescribed me the medication - but now T***o have banned me for life!!!!

[Jarmara]

i have seen another version of the Dear Mrs Murray letter
it went along the lines

Men do you find shopping boring?
then here is a list of things you can do to make it more exciting........


Ithink you must get the idea of how it went from that