I need an offload.I'm feeling pretty angry/sad atm.Ok abit of background info.Eldest daughter (31)has a partner,and they have 4 children,aged 3mths-11yrs of age.They live 3.5hrs drive from us,so we don't see eachother often.We've just returned from spending 3 days with them.My daughter has been with this man for 12 yrs.In all that time,he has only worked for 6 mths.My daughter was working when they met,but quit when she discovered she was pregnant with their first child.They rely on social security payments.No one else in my entire family has ever relied on SS payments.We all work hard.
I can't be too specific,but firstly I feel my daughter should of atleast been working herself part time,but she too has'nt worked at all in the 12 yrs of being with this man.
Over the years,we have helped them.Usually under duress because there is no physical reason why either of them can't work.The help has included sending them supermarket vouchers,buying the kids beds,a new washing machine,clothing for the kids etc.Obviously this does'nt happen all the time,but it has happened.
My daughter told us over the weekend that the eldest child needs a school uniform as they are starting secondary school.The uniforms cost £80 each and the school has requested that each child needs atleast 2.I have spoken to my husband,and we have agreed NOT to fund these uniforms.I feel very sad for my grandchildren because they don't get any special treats,holidays,and also have the stigma of telling other children neither of their parents work.
I feel particularly angry with my daughters partner.He did 6 yrs of uni(When they first got together)did'nt work at all in that time,finished uni,had a year doing nothing,got a job(A good one too)but quit after 6 mths due to apparent corruption issues(Or was it lazy issues?)and has been unemployed ever since.He does the occasional course,probably to keep social security off his case.I'm not even sure why SS are still paying for him because surely,he would of obtained a job by now if he was genuinely looking?
Anyway my daughters health is beginning to fail.Diabetes,hair falling out...what next?I'm worried.
