Am I Going Mad?

[Keaniebean]

Ok, so, I made my daughter who is in year 1 at primary school this dress, but.....



this morning when I got it out for her to put on she told me that she didn't want to wear it. She usually loves the stuff I make for he so I couldn't understand why. Then she told me that her teacher had said to her that she shouldn't wear it because it was home made and not a 'proper' school dress. I just couldn't believe it ( and yes I know I'm sounding like Victor Meldrew ).

I can't see why she is not allowed to wear it just because I made it rather than spending £6 - £10 on a dress, which I would rather not as it only cost me about £1 to make!

Am I just missing something here or going mad, please someone tell me.

[Mabu]

Have you talked to the teacher about this at all? They generally have no clue what they're talking about and if you can explain your reasoning well enough they will have nothing to say. Green earth and family values and all that.

[JulieSherris]

Sarah, get in there & have a word - I'd be bloody steaming!!

I made my eldest girls their grey cardis when they were smaller & popped a couple of rows of light blue in the rib as well, just for colour & it was the school colour anyway.
I was asked by the headmistress if we needed financial aid to buy the uniforms - and the wool was more expensive than the bloody thin things they sold in the shop!! Ooooohhh.... I was mad angry, I can tell you. I certainly put her in her place & that was the first time I can remember when I was that assertive to 'authority'

And I've never looked back........

[MKG]

I wouldn't bother "explaining" anything to the teacher (I hesitate to use that word). That person is very obviously too jumped-up, self-important and, more to the point, thick, to understand what you're saying. Anyway, if I was in your position, said thicky might end up with a severe case of black eyes. As long as that dress complies with any dress requirements the school may have, it isn't anyone's business but your own how it was come by. Short circuit the idiot. Go straight to the head. Do not explain - inform. And demand an apology. And threaten to take it all higher.

Cheeky B***h!!!!!!

Mike

[Keaniebean]

I haven't seen the teacher yet, I was too upset this morning as it left me feeling really well....

I know I should go in there and do lots of and then some of this and some of this too but while I'm perfectly capable of sticking up for myself I don't want to do it at the expense of my daughter. She is at that age where if a teacher says something then it is gospel and I don't think she would be happy to wear the dress now anyway.
It does make me wonder what will happen in September when my son goes there though, he is going to have to have home made trousers and school jumpers because of his size ( Achondroplasia). Are they going to question home made then?

It seems home made is fine when they want to raise money, ie the million bloody cake sales they have every week, but obviously only when it suits. Hmmm maybe I will go in there afterall. I just need to work myself up for it.

[Mabu]

The school is not the authority in your child's life, it is their job to teach your child and make sure they get qualifications in the future, NOT to undermine the parents and turn them against positive values you taught them. If you feel you can't go in their and make the point in a positive way then get someone else to, their father or someone with a list of things they need to put across. You are the authority in your childrens' lives not the teacher.

[Millymollymandy]

I suppose it depends on the school uniform and if your daughter's dress is an exact replica, or just similar. I know my (high) school wouldn't have stood for anything which was not official school uniform - well not in the early years anyway. My last two years I got away with an Etam skirt cos my original uniform skirt hardly covered my bum and they cost about 4 times more than Etam. (do Etam still exist? )

But for primary school I think sticking to exact rules is a bit much.

[Keaniebean]

There is no code for summer dresses other than blue gingham which is what this is. All the other girls just wear different styles from various supermarket boutiques Some of them have different colours too, while most are the same as the dress I made some of them choose to wear navy check.

I could understand if this wasn't the case and a specific outlet had been specified but this just appears to be nothing more than predjudice because I made it !

My husband has said he will take a morning off this week to come in with me, but I know I should say something myself. This has just left a bitter taste in my mouth at the moment so I don't know if I can face it on my own today.

I'm just feeling a little battered from lots of confrontations at work this week, from customers and managers, including a lovely gentleman who threatened to shove a cadburys creme egg up my bum if I didn't look away so he could steal his breakfast!!!!!!!!!!

[becks77]

Hi Sarah,
That dress is great you should be very proud.
I just had a similar run in with school uniform person
I went in and basically agreed with all they said but then used the phrase "I intend to buy......." and then stated all the reasons I couldn't at this moment and then got them to agree the uniform was fine if not purchased from the preferred supplier.... you get the picture.
Anyhow said teacher was up for fight and I just wouldn't give her one, my daughter now wears her own skirt and looks very smart
Best of luck

[Mrs H]

Personally I think it looks fab! That teacher sounds like her head is so far shoved up her arse! I definatly would say something, you have provided the uniform that they asked for, now what is her problem?! Good luck chicki!!

[Lilyfae]

As a teacher (secondary mind) I am shocked & appalled that the teacher told your daughter this especially at her age. Obviously this teacher is a jumped up arrogant twit or an NQT who has forgotten all their training in the real world of the classroom.

On behalf of my profession I apologise for their approach to a very sensitive issue.
Uniform is a big thing in English institutions as some big psychologist guy once said that uniforms are the great humbler - makes people apparently equal (anyone whose seen a teenager will realise that this is not true!) & more compliant to instructions/authority ( which strangely is true- kids behave better when you tell them to do their tie properly) so a lit of especially primary schools are hot on 'a uniform' (supermarket or school shop doesn't matter) anyone who steps outside of that is 'rebellion' and 'obviously' a future anarchist (Tongue in cheek- but some management are really like that)- your teacher is obviously in a school with this attitude & in primary schools (especially a 2 class per year) there is competition for the best behaved/dressed/quiet class as status symbols ( secondary we tend to just whinge)

The teacher if concerned should have spoken to you privately about the reasons instead of humiliating your daughter ( no doubt knowing primary it was in front of the whole class too) as it will cause her to feel 'different' in a bad way which is so unprofessional of the teacher. I've had students in 'nonuniform' items and it doesn't take much thinking to see which are moneysaving 'almosts' and which are the kids/parents taking liberties with fashion & act accordingly.

Have her head- from a fellow teacher, she gives us all a bad name

[Keaniebean]

Thank you all for your replies, as always you are of great help in such moments.

I'm not going to enjoy this and I don't feel too confident about it either but I will have to go and have my say, so I'll be back with the news later.

[wildbee]

Keaniebean I'd be fuming! Your daughter looks lovely in her school dress and that teacher should feel ashamed for embarrassing her like that - there are policies in place that outline acceptable ways to address issues like these, I'm sure confronting 6 year olds is not one of them!

The teacher if concerned should have spoken to you privately about the reasons instead of humiliating your daughter ( no doubt knowing primary it was in front of the whole class too) as it will cause her to feel 'different' in a bad way which is so unprofessional of the teacher.

Go direct to the head teacher (and/or board of governors?) with a formal letter of complaint! Hell why not go to your local newspaper as well.

Goodluck

[red]

I would say something. I know what you mean about not rocking the boat but if the story is correct and the teacher disapproves of 'homemade' then the message to your daughter will be one of the teacher can overrule the parent. and it is important that your daughter knows you are in charge. furthermore, she will be encouraged to think you are wrong with your attitudes to making things etc. wrong wrong wrong.

I would start of by establishing if there is a misunderstanding or exaggeration of the story. Assuming that the teacher really is that moronic, then I would point it all out to her..

your daughter should be encouraged to feel proud that you are so creative and resourceful. Not told shop bought is best. sheesh.

[Keaniebean]

Well I went into the office and asked if it was possible to see the Headmistress or to make an appointment to see her. They were very helpfull and friendly too which is a rare occurence. They asked me what it was about so I explained the situation to them. They were clearly a bit taken aback by the whole matter, and couldn't see a problem as long as it was a plain blue gingham dress, which obviously it is.

One of them went to see if she was avaliable but came back saying she was with a member of staff at the moment but that they had given her a breif outline of the situation. The Head's response was that she would be talking to the teacher and getting back to me. So no outcome as yet, but some progress.

I will wait to see what her response is as to what I do after but if it's a fair one then I will be fair in return. I have many years left at that school so don't really want to make an enemy of a teacher who is teaching one of my children and may yet teach the youngest.

If she dissmisses the issue then I will take it further and this time in writing. Like Wildbee and LilyFae have said, if there was a problem then she should have spoken to me rather than to my 6 year old daughter.

Thank you all for your support and kind words.