The Crazy Chicken Lady - a story

[Rosendula]

The Crazy Chicken Lady

Once upon a time there was a lady who lived with her family on the edge of town. The neighbours all thought the lady was a little strange and so when one day she bought three chickens she became known as the "Crazy Chicken Lady", a name she responded well to, because whilst she realized her behaviour was a little out of the ordinary, she just wanted a little taste of the Good Life, and not many people these days bothered to try. Most people, in fact, wouldn't have a clue how.

The lady made a lot of sacrifices for the chickens. She changed her sleeping patterns, reducing the number of hours she slept by between 1 and 3 hours per night, depending on the season. She did this so that she could wake at sunrise to open the hen-house and allow the chickens as much fresh air and sunshine as they could possibly want. Every day, the Crazy Chicken Lady fed her hens corn and layers pellets. Every day she cleaned out the hen-house and picked up the droppings from the run and the garden (for she was unable to bear seeing them in a cage, even with a large extension run, and so allowed them to run free in the garden for much of the day). Every day, the Crazy Chicken Lady stopped to talk to the chickens, whether the sun shone or it rained. Every day, the chickens ran in eager anticipation to their owner as she knelt on the sticky, wet earth and searched for bugs to feed them as a treat.

In return for her love and devotion, and in recompense for her time and hard work, the Crazy Chicken Lady wanted nothing more than a dozen eggs each week so that she may feed her family. But alas, the chickens were selfish and refused to lay any eggs. The Crazy Chicken Lady's family grew hungry and she pleaded with the chickens to lay, but they refused and their owner began to grow weary. Until one day, that is.

As the sun set, the chickens took themselves, as they always did, to bed in their lovely, warm, safe hen-house. One, two, three chickens climbed the ramp and settled on the perch to sleep.

The next morning, as the sun rose, the Crazy Chicken Lady unlocked the hen-house and let out her pets. Only two chickens came out. None remained inside. The Crazy Chicken Lady no longer looked weary and instead wore a wry smile. A beautiful aroma followed her into the garden from the kitchen where her family sat around a table, feeling glad and no longer hungry.

And the moral of this story is, my dear chickens, IF YOU DON'T LAY AN EGG YOU'LL HIT THE CLUCKING POT!

The end (if that's the way you want it).

[Silver Ether]

Thats life... they have to pay the rent for the little warm hen house ...

[Rosendula]

Don't worry, we haven't eaten any yet. The story is intended more as a threat

[Millymollymandy]

I gathered that! There I was enjoying the story thinking "that's me!" then I got a bit upset by the ending!

I take it you haven't had any eggs yet and are feeling a bit peed off. They'll come and then you'll be asking us what to do with so many bloomin' eggs. I absolutely guarantee that.

It's like gardening, it's all about patience and then suddenly you can't move for eggs/runner beans/courgettes.

Wish I could send you some in the meantime cos I've been eating sarnies with eggy filling for lunch the last 3 days plus boiled eggs with soldiers for dinner last night and duck egg tortilla omelette about 5 nights ago....... aaaarrrrrgggggh!

[Rosendula]

Wish I could send you some in the meantime cos I've been eating sarnies with eggy filling for lunch the last 3 days plus boiled eggs with soldiers for dinner last night and duck egg tortilla omelette about 5 nights ago....... aaaarrrrrgggggh!

Blimey MMM, I wouldn't want to stand down-wind from you


They're just 20 weeks old this weekend, so yes, it is just a case of me being really impatient. I'm just the same with my seedlings, checking them every day and sulking if they're not yet showing. I finally found a germinated tomato seed in my greenhouse yesterday and cheered out loud and was busy telling it it's about blooming time too when I noticed my next door neighbour stood looking at me, waiting to talk to me

[JulieSherris]

Haha... I have just made the 'birthday cake' for my eldest - who hates cream, milk, custard etc.... but she loves chocolate, so I made a digestive biscuit base & topped it with the most divine choccy mousse topping - chocolate & butter, melted, mix with egg yolks, fold in whipped egg whites - leave to set in the fridge, voila! No cream needed & everyone's happy - including me when the recipe called for SIX eggs
Checking the egg store, I'll have to make some more now - tastier than scrambled/poached/boiled/fried/omelette eggs!

[Millymollymandy]

Thankfully today I only got one hen egg (and nothing from the ducks ) which was so small we had hysterics over it - about the size of a blackbird egg. Can't wait to eat it with a chip.

[Gert]

lol, oh dear Crazy Chicken Lady,

Don't worry rosy they'll soon get into the swing of things. Maybe just tell them the story as you put them away tonight

[thesunflowergal]

Julie you do make me chuckle.

Mine are 26/27 weeks and only two of them are laying every day, not that I mind though.

[theabsinthefairy]

Dear Crazy Chicken Lady

You absolutely have the right idea - I have found a good threatening with the Rayburn and a roasting tin has a wonderous effect on the number of eggs we get in a day.

from

Mrs "an egg a day or a spicy batter coating reminiscent of a popluar high street fast food chain for you tomorrow"

[Thomzo]

[Rosendula]

WE'VE GOT AN EGG!!!!

LOOK!

[JulieSherris]

Thassit! No stopping them now, Rosey!

[red]

[Millymollymandy]

woo hoo!

Well obviously this story worked - I guess they've been sneaking in the house reading self suffish.