An old Land Rover...

[Stonehead]

1. Removal van come camper.



2. Apple and pear press. Place chopped fruit in a bucket, cover with circular piece of wood, place the base of LR's screw jack on wood, then put jack in base. Insert jack's lifting arm into chassis lifting point and jack up LR. Result - apple or pear juice!

3. Scaffolding tower for demolition work.



4. Ploughing. Attach large, vertical strainer post to LR's towbar with a three-tonne lifting strop, then accelerate smoothly away to leave a nice furrow. NOTE: Strainer must be in ground before ploughing commences and laughing neighbours must be hidden in bushes.

5. 200 gallon water bowser.



6. Boulder remover and impromptu grass roller
Find a very, very large boulder (at least 200kg) and attach to rear of LR with three-tonne towing strop. Accelerate smoothly away over the grass, ensuring that boulder does not dig in.

7. Tree lopping platform. Place large sheet of seven-ply on LR's roof rack, place OH at the wheel and then stand on platform while gradually working your way along the line of trees with pole-mounted saw. NOTE: It is better but more expensive to use a commerically made pole-mounted saw instead of a home-made one using an assortment of blades, clamps, broom handles and bailing wire. Also, do not stand while vehicle is in motion unless you are a stuntman on a film set.

8. Dog kennel. Leave LR parked up for at least eight years, while keeping assorted dogs in it. Vehicle will have low miles, good chassis, very trendy mohair (sorry doghair) upholstery and a lovely whiff on hot days. (The fate of H96 HRY before we bought him and hence his nickname, Harry the Dirty Dog.)

9. Feral pig bait. This one dates back a few years to Oz, but will probably still work. Take one ageing army SIII LR with soft-top removed and park up in bush while occupants enjoy lunch of sausage sarnies. A large boar will smell the pork sausages and in his indignation proceed to attack the LR and try to clamber in over the sides.

10. Fence straightener. This is today's project and is currently in experimental mode. Photos to follow...

[Sandy]

LOL Stone, read the last one wrong and thought you said face straightener
Was halfway through composing a reply when I re-read it, phew, lucky! You all would've thought me mad

Some very good ideas there!

[Stonehead]

LOL Stone, read the last one wrong and thought you said face straightener
Was halfway through composing a reply when I re-read it, phew, lucky! You all would've thought me mad

Some very good ideas there!

A face straightener! Brilliant idea - just the thing for removing certain looks from small children such as the one in the next pic...



The reason for the look is "pa's contraption is broken".

Yes, I have to report the fence straightener didn't work on first attempt. What I was attempting to do was pull the strainer post back to the vertical. When I started straining the wires, the post took a rather large lean up the hill due to a combination of soft ground and poor installation (not my me I hasten to add!).

So, I slackened off the wires, drove a 2m length of angle iron into the ground as an anchor (even using a 12lb sledge hammer it took a long time), bored a large hole in the iron for a shackle (the hole cost me three cheap drill bits and two expensive ones), then shackled a large block to the iron.

A long length of stout rope was threaded through the block and tied to the strainer (with a double bowline for knot aficionadoes), with the other end secured to the Landie (bowline on a bight this time).

Okay, start off in first gear and for a few seconds success! The post began to come back to the vertical and nothing snapped - or fell off the Landie!

But then, disaster, The angle iron not only started to pull out of the ground (despite being at a 45 degre angle leaning away from the direction of pull) but it also started bending.

Oh well, back to the drawing board. My next attempt will involved burying an old boat grapnel in the ground as an anchor!

Stonehead

PS Yes, it would be quicker and easier to dig the post up and replace it, but that wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun nor involve half the tinkering.

[Batfink]

An investment opportunity 8)

[Stonehead]

13. An aquarium - seal all the doors and windows shut, feed the fish through the sunroof.
14. Chick coop. (And yes, I've seen one in use.)
15. Sand pit for the kids. (Do pieces count? I'm talking rear tub here.)
16. Artificial reef.
17. Play pen for the kids (particularly when you have a dog guard in the back and they're on the other side!).
18. Compost heap (load 30 sacks of horse muck in the back, forget them and discover a week later in summer).

[Boots]

Option 1 - Viewing platform and commentary box for the kid while Dad fixes the fence.

How about you push the post out instead of pull it?

Drop all your strands of wire. Dig hole about 3 foot on the inside (looks like left side) of post, drop in a brace post and lean her up against the post. Throw some concrete in hole and and drive that bugger down the post with your sledgy. You want to end up about 3/4 of the way down the post and you can - if you are feeling keen, wedge out where you want to end up (but I never end up guessing this right, so just drive a whopping great bolt in above it.)

Option 2 - If there is already a brace there (that I can't see in the pic), you could try driving it down, or use the LR to rip it out and replace it...

Option 3 - Drive LR past the post and tell son about the good ol' Aussie measure of reckonin' that begins with, "If it aint broke...

[Wombat]

Food/herb dryer!

Nev

[Stonehead]

Food/herb dryer!

Nev

Now there's an idea - combine it with some of those old radiators...

Stonehead

[Garlic]

Add in mobile livestock maternity unit and accomodation for human midwife...........I've just spent 3wks living in the back of ours and aside from the lack of a bath it was pretty salubrious..........A tarpaulin over the roof stopped the leaks..........comfy bed, mobile clinic, even managed to maintain my relationship