hubby awkward with meals help please

[Green Aura]

thanks for recipe ,just made baked bean,saug,peppers pasties and he loved them ,also made some rhubarb and apple pie, lemon curd tarts,jam tarts, and had a go at blackberry and apple jam that didn't go as good but will still be ok for topping etc,thanks everyone

I can't help feeling there's more going on here.

Mary, why are you supporting your OH's bad diet, to the detriment of your own and possibly his health? I'm not having a go at you, I just think you need to look at what you're both doing.

Graye's right - he's an adult and can make decisions on that basis. But as such he has to take responsibility for his decisions.

That may be financial - if he needs to buy his own food; health - whether fat or thin he could well have high cholesterol levels if he lives on saturated fats (meat) and pies, or whatever.

You need to look after your own health and stop colluding with his bad habits, honey, or he'll never change his diet.

Incidentally, there's no reason for either him, or you to give up pies etc, as long as they're very occasional and you look at portion sizes. Neither of you need to eat salads 3 meals a day, just moderate the less healthy elements of your diet. Surely he wouldn't object to that would he?

[sleepyowl]

hi can any one help me ,i'm diabetic so have to eat quite regulary, trying to lose 7 stone , also got arthritis.
i want to eat more healthly and get hubby to do same ,we are on a very tight budget and hubby awkward he won't eat anything with tomato base in ,or mince

Don't mean to upset you but if you are arthritic eating beef & tomatoes really won't help you in the slightest. Avoid stuff with citric acid (which doesn't leave you with much in the way of fruit options) or cause uric acid build up, no full fat dairy or 'old meats' such as pork, beef or mutton.

[Brij]

I would like to add a sensitive point here...

Firstly, we are only assuming that Mary and her OH's health issues are food-related here. The lady has recognised that they have an unhealthy diet and has asked for our advice Let's not get too judgemental.

However I do partly agree that you might need to think about presenting the reasons why you need to get into a healthier eating pattern to your OH. And IF he is pulling you in a direction that is damaging your health, you may need to think about at least eating separately prepared food - pastry doesn't do anyone any good more than once or twice a week. And if you are committed, Mary, to doing all of the cooking, you do need to at least be aware of the basic formulae for preparing healthy meals (as I mentioned in my first post on the topic).

Unfortunately in your case, variety is one of the most important aspects of healthy eating.

[marymartin]

first of all thanks for your thoughts, second especial thanks to green aura and brij for not being thoughtless as some of the others seem after all its my loving hubby you have been talking about and yes he may be awkward with his food but his very loving and helpful in other ways.
i'm sure some of you will be married and have partners who do something annoying to you .
he is slowly learning which is why it always takes him a while to realise things,and i think now he is starting to realise what needs to be done .
he is thin as he bikes a hour to work then does his work as his on his feet all day working in shop, then cycles home ,he doesn't have high blood pressure he was checked awhile back , its just me and i asked the doctor if it was my eating or being over weight that as caused this and they told me no , my body seems to have been going wrong since i had pneumonia a few years ago , so then i got asthma, diabetes, and now arthisis.
so please remember to try and be nice towards my hubby, i just need suggestions for meals instead of salad , or veg with potatoes each night ,after all if we have the same in day in day out it with get very boring

[contadina]

Jacket potatoes are a healthy option, and the toppings are endless, just remember to have them with protein and veg (if having cheese also have coleslaw for example).

[Milims]

MM I've just read your last message and it has really struck a chord. My OH has RA - he also suffered from pneumonia a few years ago, resulting in a compromised immune system - so I am aware of the difficulties you have. Your husband sounds like a lovely bloke and you clearly love him very much and I'm sure you always want to be there for him. So you really must take care of your self too. I'm also a real foodie and love to cook for my family and want to see them well fed and happy - but I also really want to see them healthy, so try to be careful with food. There's nowt wrong with "proper" dinners or pies - but all things in moderation is the key. Good for you for trying to introduce your hubby to new things and for sticking with it for his sake as much as your own. Now to practicalities - what's he like with soup? My friends sons hate vegetables but love her lentil and veg soup - cos they can't see the veg! One of my tricks is to add wholemeal flour to pastry etc - it makes it more filling so I can serve smaller protions that are just as filling. It's there kind of "tricks" that can make a huge difference.
Very good luck with your mission - I'm sure you'll be successful

[eccentric_emma]

hi

i would recommend Gillian McKeiths you are what you eat cookbook for recipes. my dad is diabetic and my mum gets most of her recipes from there and the majority are suitable for diabetics as well as being interesting. at first glance it may seem there are some obscure ingredients in there but once you get used to them they're great! and theres some really good treats in there, good snacks, full meals, ideas for salad dressing etc and the recipes are easy and quick as well.

[patR]

My OH has had athritic problems and some gouty pain in his foot for the last couple of years, he's now over the moon as he takes Devils Claw supplements (super strenght) and within two weeks gouty pain had gone and within a month athritic pain as well...
Obviously check out if its okay for you to take with other medication, but its not expensive either...
I go online to a company called simply supplements, everything is buy one get one free, postage within the uk is free (I have to send it to my sons and he forwards it on) we got him a years supply plus a years supply for our dobermann (he takes the lower strenght at the moment) all for under 20 quid....
worth a look.

[Graye]

Marymartin, I hope you didn't think MY reply was mean as that was not my intention at all. I have an OH who is quite capable of driving me completely crazy at times. But I do know that he would do whatever was necessary if he was aware that I had a problem which he could help with.

The point I was trying to make to you is that you have some serious health problems and your weight needs to be tackled as soon as possible. Seven stone is far too much excess weight to be carrying around and it will be affecting every aspect of your life. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and the problem was brought home to me by my doctor who said that I was permanently carrying the equivalent of a seven your old on my back. I used to love imagining what it would be like to dump that seven year old (it almost got to the point where I gave him a name) and run up steps etc. I do not have diabetes but I do have spinal arthrosis (arthritis of a specific spinal joint) and high blood pressure. Both of them were hugely improved once I had persevered and lost the weight and I still take Cod Liver Oil capsules and Glucosamine which seem to work wondres too.

Salads and vegetables are not necessarily all you need to eat to loose weight. But you need to cut out too much fat and carbohydrates and sometimes this means a complete overhaul of your eating habits. I'm not saying cut out all the things you love to eat but just look to see if you could reduce the fats or add other beneficial things. You need all the encouragement you can get and I think a chat with your doctor would make it plain to your OH that he needs to be part of the campaign. The other thing is that there are certain foods which aggravate arthritis so you need to become pretty informed on what is going to be good for you.

If your OH remains happy eating as he does and is fit and healthy on it all you can do is alter what YOU eat. Good luck with it and I'm sure every one here will give you any encouragement you need.

[sleepyowl]

i would recommend Gillian McKeiths you are what you eat cookbook for recipes. my dad is diabetic and my mum gets most of her recipes from there and the majority are suitable for diabetics as well as being interesting.

The unfortunate thing is most of her recipes are arthritic friendly. Curing Arthrits the Drug Free Way by Margaret Hills is a good book & most are diabetic friendly too. My mum was nearly a bed ridden cripple with by the time I was about 8-9 years old & the meds were doing bugger all, she was told she would never work again, she was fed up of taking tablets that didn't work so she went on the diet & a few years later she was back at work again. She is on the diet still today. She is also diabetic.

[Brij]

Have you tried rice, quinoa, couscous, tapioca and things like that? They can replace potatoes in a meal, and don't have too strong a flavour.

Don't take the comments too personally Mary, everyone is just trying to help in their own way, and it can be hard to interpret things written on a board like this, where you can't hear tone of voice, etc.

And good luck!

[Gem]

Hey,

I'm not sure if this has been suggested but stir frys using spray on oil (reduces the amount you use) and a range of different veggys and if you want, lean meat, can be very tastey. The taste can be varied with herbs and spices and the other benefit is that you can take out your hubbys portion and then quick cook yours with a few extra herbs and spices in to make it a bit more interesting (I have different tastes to my blokey and this is one of the ways we get round it..). Serve with thin egg noodles - yum

Veggy bakes - My favourite quick and easy recipie is throwing a load of chopped veg (broc, carrots, aubergine, courgettes, anything else you want really) into a lightly oiled pan and heat through for 10-15 mins, then pour into a pyrex dish with some mushroom soup (home-made or just any old tin of soup is fine though one tin for one dish is enough, dont want it too runny) and grate some cheese on top. Cook in oven at 180 for 30-40 mins and hey presto a tastey meal that, whilst being a little naughty is still healthy, nutritious and yummy, also good for feeding larger groups of people as making a little is just as easy as making a lot.

You know the other thing I do is buy a few random things that I know the OH will eat and google - eg leeks, sweet potatoe and courgette recipies and it will come up with all sorts of fun things!

I know how hard it can be to break old habits, a friend is enduring a similar experience though her doc is a stupid old quack who thinks that the drill sargent technique will work (actual quote - You are FAT and UNHEALTHY and WILL DIE - She went home in tears)

Really hope that you are getting plenty of help and support.

Gem