Etiquette

[JulieSherris]

I am loving this thread - all the stories are fanatstic - Maggie, I am SO shocked!! Really made me giggle, & I have a very active imagination - can just see the Citizen Smith hats flying outta the back window.....

I just wish Fee would hurry up & tell us what's going on!!

Julie.

[invisiblepiper]

.......................maybe she's on the phone..................

[the.fee.fairy]

ok, Ok, i ignored the rules and went with the consensus. We may be going out this weekend.

I say may because i said Friday and he's got a party on Friday, but he said that he was due to go out Saturday, but will probably not go out if i want to do something, so i told him not to drop things for me and that we can arrange to go out some other time.

I'm waiting for the answer to that one...

Fingers crossed and all that!

I'm also loving the 'romance' stories - everyone needs a good pick-me-up at the moment, so keep them coming!

[Rod in Japan]

You're probably asking this question on the wrong site.

I have my homepage set to US Yahoo, and everyday there's further advice about dating on there. It's actually a highly technical subject, and probably not something that compost boys and girls should really be dabbling in.

[StripyPixieSocks]

ok, Ok, i ignored the rules and went with the consensus. We may be going out this weekend.

I say may because i said Friday and he's got a party on Friday, but he said that he was due to go out Saturday, but will probably not go out if i want to do something, so i told him not to drop things for me and that we can arrange to go out some other time.

I'm waiting for the answer to that one...

Fingers crossed and all that!

I'm also loving the 'romance' stories - everyone needs a good pick-me-up at the moment, so keep them coming!

Aww good luck Fee... it's all so terribly nerve racking isn't it?

I think the worse time ever for me was after OH had stayed for a week (after he'd only planned a weekend visit) and I saw him off on the train... I was worried he'd never come back and he said my face looked so worried when he left... but he came back much to my relief

[eccentric_emma]

good work Fee! hope it goes well on your next date!

sometimes playing hard to get really works though, i kept telling my OH to go away (really wasnt interested, he was one of my best friends and i liked being single) and he wouldnt leave me alone. the more i said no the more he seemed to like me! it went on for almost a year before i gave in!! then we moved in together after 2 months and it all worked out.

[mrsflibble]

stuff etiquette!!
I asked james out 6 and a half years ago, three days after our initial meeting. our first actual date was the next week and he had to run the gauntlet of meeting my family so he could pick me up hahaha!

there's a saying in my family; if a man visits the mental assylum that is my mum's house and comes back a second time, he's a keeper

[StripyPixieSocks]

HAHA my OH's first encounter was me and my Dad in the car when we came to pick him up then he stopped the week at my parents as that's where I was living at the time after I had left my previous relationship.

Poor soul... me and my family all at once, he must have been terrified, luckily they all got on and my Mom loved him... first boyfriend she's ever liked

[Annpan]

Glad you stuffed the rules

OH and I were in the same group of friends for a good while - though I was just hanging out with them because I liked him For about 6 months I was trying to figure him out... drop hints... work out if he had a girlfriend (he would turn up with friends who were girls all the time - but they were just friends - I know that now )

Anyway, at no point did I want to break the 'rules' and say "look, I like you... what do you think"

So for the first 6 months I tried to figure him out, and the next 6 months I was breaking the 'rules' a little more each time, till I convinced him to come up to my bedsit to wrap presents for Christmas still took me 6 hours after I got him into my room to figure out he liked me too

..... That was almost 8 years ago

[Clara]

Well done Fee, I've always been a bit useless at these things....I usually have to be hit over the head with a placard that reads "I fancy you" before I take it any further!

Speaking of which....

The first time I met OH was in a drama lecture at Uni, I walked in late to the first lecture of my second year (well they did rent the studio next to the best pub in town), everyone sat in a large circle talking about some greek something or other (dionysis, bacchus - dunno) and I feel these eyes burning into me. Before I know it OH has crossed the circle ripped off his shirt and is carrying me around the room with it draped across my face (I think I was supposed to be a headless goddess ) and me pressed against his chest.....well I kind of got the hint that time.

[Helsbells]

Ooh, loving this thread!!
Good luck Fee, like others have said, if he took you to be breaking the rules by calling then he is clearly a wierdo and not worth bothering with. You definately did the right thing. I think that breaking the rules helps you work out if he is the right one anyway. If he runs a mile he is clearly not "the one"!

I met my OH on the internet on the Reading festival website, then we met in person for the first time at Reading festival, we did a lot of kissin and cuddlin in a tent!! The about a month later he moved to a uni near where I lived and the first time we met up together after the festival there was us, my parents and his parents (who dropped him off at uni) all in my parents living room. Very wierd. Now 8 years on we are getting married, living in Reading and (hopefully) going to Reading festival as part of our homemoon.

Rules? What rules?

[Ellendra]

Upon my first introduction to the "dating scene" I wound up with two stalkers, so when guys express an interest in me I usually find it unnerving instead of flattering. Clara, if a guy had done that to me I probably would have decked him.

Thus, I was introduced to my boyfriend through a rather formal courtship. There is a gentleman who has been a mentor and surrogate father to me for years. At one point he dropped by right after I'd been dumped in a rather heartless fashion (the boy put his NEW GIRLFRIEND on the phone and let HER tell me it was over) and he found me moping and feeling sorry for myself while watching The Labyrinth, I half-jokingly asked if he happened to know any guys like Jareth (from the movie) only kinder, who wouldn't break my heart like that jerk had. There was a long moment of silence, then he said "I'll see what I can arrange"

Turns out the son of an acquaintance of his looks, sounds, and walks exactly like a younger version of the Goblin King!!!! My "adopted dad" actually negotiated with Sweetheart's dad for us to meet, we sometimes joke that its an arranged marriage. But, he's such a sweetie that I couldn't help but fall for him, and he says the same about me but I'm not sure why :p

[red]

blimey... I'm glad I did not know there were supposed to be rules...

[growingthings]

me too!...

I met my Hubby after my first true love had broken my heart as a tender 17 year old. I was having my lunch by the river where I live, wearing an extremely ( ) attractive deckchair type local supermarket uniform( ugh!), and saw my predatory 'pub mates' seducing a bunch of grockles that were having a weeks holidays on the broads.

After having to suffer the embarrasment of being seen in public by people that knew me in THAT uniform, he asked me out for a drink that night (he had been drinking all day I tell myself!) and then I spent three headonistic (naked together on the roof of a boat on the river in the warm summer night drinking wine and loving life! FABULOUS!) days on his boat before he left to go back to Yorkshire. Well if you can't do it when you are 18 you never will!

and in the words of my Dads wedding speech, 'this tall dark, handsome and disgustingly slim (yes pop you are a bit portly lol!) lad kept coming back again and again and again...'

When he used to leave after our weekends together I used to joke that I'd see him next weekend I never imagined that I would... that was *cough* *splutter* almost 12 years ago now

Having met the OH just two weeks after my 18th birthday it certainly narrowed the field a bit when it came to getting 'out there' but I have every admiration for those who are brave enough to just go and get on with it and not let it be what defines them - i have friends who are serial singles and it is their sole topic of conversation when they will meet Mr Right .

So you go girl and enjoy it I'm sure that we all here are sufficiently nosey enough to want to know whats happening next.. especially those of us who are in that comfy little cushion of a long term love!!

Lorna x

[Sally Jane]

So glad things are progressing nicely...!
That wretched book 'The Rules' messed with so many peoples' heads, and seemed to be mainly about manipulation. Thank goodness it seems to have had its day.
There are too few really pleasant men out there, and it's probably all too easy to scare them away by trying to fit in with someone else's idea of how you should proceed (ie etiquette, The Rules) when you're best off trusting your instincts. I suppose it boils down to just being yourself, and treating people the way you'd like to be treated. Oh, and having fun!
We all know when we've met 'The One' - all of a sudden you find it easy to talk and laugh in his company, and you suddenly realise that unlike the relationships with the Wrong 'Uns, this doesn't hurt. At all!
Even if he's not 'the One', maybe he's 'The One for Right Now', and if you enjoy each others company and manage not to hurt each other, it's worthwhile and valuable. I suppose every relationship we have teaches us something, even if it's what not to do next time!
It took me a rotten marriage and quite a few Wrong 'Uns until I found Mr Right (possibly cos I'd stopped looking for him-he somehow crept under my radar!) and he's my best mate, soulmate, playmate ... we're neither of us Spring chickens, and neither of us had expected to even contemplate getting married again, but get married we did, and it's so different this time. Fun and painless!
It takes some courage to embark on the dating game, particularly after being out of it, especially if previous relationships have knocked your confidence etc.
I hope you have a great time with this nice new fella, and look forward to the next instalment!