new try, back from *depression land*

[Berti]

hi :)
It has been a while since I lastly posted, because I had a *vacation* in *depression land*.
It was a bad one and had to fight hard and long to get back *home*.
I succeeded.......now that I am back on my feet, I feel like dreaming.
My dream is that I would love someone tell me: I have got a farm AND SHEEP, would you like to come and live and work here, as a spinner/ dyer and give a hand with things? I think I would love to help set up a business and people selling their wools, instead of burning them/ get a few pennies from the woolbrokers.

Now that this is not exactly gonna happen overnight, but one should dream, should one not?
I am trying to get back into selfsufficientism and hopefully order the book one of the next few weeks.
Now first things first, get my sourdough also back on its feet, which also suffered badly under all this.

warmest greetings from netherlands
berti

[Wombat]

Hey Berti!

I've been where you were, great to have you back!

Nev

[Millymollymandy]

Good to see you back Berti!

[Milims]

Welcome back Berti. Depression Land is a dark place so I recommend a big dose of sunshine and fresh air! I'm sure there will be lots of Ish therapists on here who will be only too happy to offer encouragement! Keep on plodding, you'll get there in time mate!

[mrsflibble]

My depressionland is where my alter ego, "crazy emma" lives. wolcome back, glad to see "crazy berti" didn't eat you.




Please PM me if you need to. I've also been where you are and it aint fun.

as for the wool thing, yeah I say go for it!!!

[old tree man]

welcome back, virtual hugs and positive waves from the ish has helped Jane and i latley so its our turn to send some, its nice to have people thinking of you that is medicine itself , so smell the fesh air look at our beautiful planet you are not alone

God bless
Russ & jane

[Berti]

aw, now that is so sweet of you all!!! I feel really touched.
Of course we all have our times and been there and done that........I am happy that I am still alive.
So yes it was that bad.........
It's not solved yet (the problem that caused it) but I have found ways to work around it and it helps.
But in april, believe me, I didn't want to live anymore with that problem ruining my newly achieved life.

Some side info: till november last year I had a hearing loss. Then got a cochlear implant and with that PERFECT HEARING.
Till february this year, and then all of a sudden something went wrong and I was set WAY back.
And the hospital doing NOTHING to sort things out, find causes, no support, whatever.

Imagine, if YOU would lose your hearing, what problems that would cause: no phone, no understanding, no music, no social life (!!!! still not) and had no outlook on things improving.
So that was it and if you have a kid to take care of, are divorced mom, and NO SUPPORT FROM ANYONE, that is enough.

Now I am trying to make the best out of it, till some kind of wonder happens.
I was told angels do exist.
If you come across one, send one my way, please.....

greetings
berti

[mrsflibble]

I totally see youir point. severe depression never goes away, you just learn how to cope through the bad times.
I hope things get better for you.

[red]

sorry to hear you have had a rough time Berti

glad to have you back

[ina]

Great you are back home, Berti! I've been there, too... And if it wasn't for sites like SSish, I'd be there more often still.

And sorry to disappoint you - but I haven't come across that elusive angel yet, either. Although sometimes you find one in human form.

[Berti]

today I did indigo dyeing........didn't go according to plan but did have some pleasing results.
tomorrow another try to get the job finished as the dyebath ran out.
also, I ordered the ish bible.............hope it inspires me to just start and work on things.

right now I feel like I want to pack my suitcases and leave for a few weeks, to somewhere quiet where I cannot be bothered and just have the people around me which I would like.
unfortunately, money doesn't allow a holiday.

you get good days and you get harder days and my butt already hurts so much from kicking myself to keep going.
doing my best.
or should I just quit with trying too hard???

berti

[mrsflibble]

keep trying, but don't brate yourself if you don't manage something. also allow yourself a little leeway; not everything has to happen in one day.

[Berti]

mrs fibble wrotes: not everything has to happen in one day.

oh really??? ;)
berti