12th Birthday Dilemma

[Milims]

It's my daughters 12th birthday on Saturday and I've promised that she and 2 friends can go to the cinema. The problem is, having checked out the films, the film she really wants to see is about a teenage girl who becomes pregnant. It's a 12A - but that's not really too much of a dilemma as I'd be happy to let her see Be Kind Rewind, which is the same certificate. To me the problem is that Juno is a film that poses moral questions that I would prefer to be there with her to answer. The other consideration is her friends parents - how would they feel about their daughter seeing such a film? I know one set of parents would be fine but the other girls dad is a vicar. There are 5 other films available - but one is totaly "uncool", so that only leaves 4! The thing is she's in a bit of a strop about it, mostly disappointed, and I want her to have a happy birthday not a cr*ppy birthday!

[Russian Doll]

what about comprimise..say to her that if she picks one of the other films this time maybe th pair of you could watch juno together

[red]

I haven't seen the film, but are you sure the message is a bad one?

perhaps it would be a good hint at what a bad idea teenage pregnancy is?
anyone here seen it?

I would talk to vicar-parents.. if they object then its not you putting an end to it. if they are fine, then maybe the film is not so objectionable

[Annpan]

I would certainly talk to the other parents.

E is only 18 months, but I have neices and nephews around that age.
I know that my OH would see it differently but I would be inclined to let her see it.

1. It is apparently a very good film - as a film nerd, I would rather my daughter or niece saw a well made film than some piece of tat.

2. It is from the females point of view (I believe)- which beats the recent spate of teen comedy films about permiscuous(sp?) men and inferior female characters.

3. It is likely to encourage a debate or discussion between your daughter and her friends.

4. It is of intelligent subject matter - chances are, half of it will be over their heads but at least you are giving them the benifit of the doubt and treating them like young adults.


Without wanting to scare you - If I was the 12 year old, I would probably sneak in to see it anyway, but I would have to keep it a secret and so couldn't discus it with Mum - I don't think that is a healthy outcome for anyone


Tough choice, talk to the other parents, one of them might feel very strongly about it.

[Milims]

I'm quite happy to take her to see the film myself and then, if any questions arise, discuss it. She knows that she can come and talk to me about anything and frequently does - so that's not the problem. It's just that it's not particularly the kind of film I'd like her to see without an adult being there - but the point of the trip is so that they can feel "grown up" and go on their own (we will be dropping the at the cinema and picking them up immediately afterwards! lol). Having read the blurb and seen the trailer I don't think that it gives a particularly bad message - in fact it looks rather sweet - perhaps a bit too sweet! It's just that to me it is an important issue which I'd rather be along, side, with guidance, than let her get the wrong idea

[Mydreamlife]

Just a couple of ideas (as a tenage mummy myself) knowledge is not always a bad thing, awareness in a non dangerous (early sexual relationship) way may in the long term help.
Could you go with them?
Maybe a negotiation is in order?! Could you bargin, maybe back down as long as she will have an open conversation with you where you can have a girly chat maybe while painting toe nails etc to help her ask questions or understand your point of view.
I have three little girls now and in just 7 years will be in the same position I am sure! As a mummy I would rather be accomodating but welcoming than seen to be unfair and unaproachable so would probably let her go but instigate a situation where we could have a light but informative chat, maybe with the other girls as well, including various views (to include the vicar's opppinions!!!!!!!)
Tricky, just trust your judgement!

[Milims]

I spoke to my work mate this morning - she has a daughter the same age. Her mother has seen the film and had the same feeling as I did. Althought the subject appears to be treated sensibly, carefully and thoughtfully - it's not the sort of film we would want our daugters going to see on their own aged just 12 - hence the 12A certificate I guess! I consider myself very lucky that my relationship with my daughter is such that she feels very comfortable about coming to talk to me, and has on many occasions (she was indecently assaulted when she was 5 and came straight to me and told me - maybe that's why I'm so sensitive to this kind of issue). I think one of the reasons that she really wanted to see it - apart from being genuinely interested - is that she considers it to be "grown up" and quite cool. To me it's just a little too grown up to go on her own, but I have said that we will go and see it together.

[Mydreamlife]

(she was indecently assaulted when she was 5 and came straight to me and told me - maybe that's why I'm so sensitive to this kind of issue)

Oh my goodness, horrid, horrid. I think you are doing a great job of not letting your sensitivity towards this subject get in the way. Well done you. Good Luck and have a lovely day BOTH of you!

[Milims]

Well I've seen it - and I have to say that, personally, my instinct not to let my daughter go with her friends was spot on! It was aweful! She came across as an irresponsible, over indulged little madam who had no concept of how her behaviour affected other people. She carelessly and thoughtlessly put herself and her baby into a situation that need not have happened (I don't want to give the plot away to those who wish to see it) with a premeditated act and quite frankly if it had been portrayed the other way around there would have been an outcry about date rape! Sorry if I offend anyone with my outburst - but I really do think that this film has been badly done for an important issue.

[red]

good then, that you went with your instinct.

[Mydreamlife]

What a let down, just as the people who have the power to influence the majority of society are given the opportunity to do some good they blow it. I am really sad to hear this... what is wrong with our society today?

[emmsy]

sometimes films are very misleading