Selfsufficientish.com

This means you Jack
http://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/lo ... ubsection=

Gidday

Oh poor diddums. You want us to be nice to ewe jokers.

Well when You admit to the facts like about underarm bowling, Phar Lap’s birthplace and the origins of the pavlova, I might consider a be nice to Aussies week., but probably only last a day anyway.

Tis not us saying you got to stop stirrin...

Tis your mob!!!!

They're worried they have insulted their tourist dollar apparently, and we are all laffin our arses off over here, cos we only go over there to watch ya'll argue with each other. Ewe sheep shaggers were always a bit slow on the uptake.

Gidday

Don't go blaming us for things that ewe jokers do mate.

I heard a story from over there once. This here old farmer was lookin at his ewes and lambs and he saw a black on so turned to his Abbo shepherd and accused him of getting out with the ewes at tupping. Old Nugget just turned to the farmer and said, "Hey Boss, look at all the white ones."

50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a "Kiwis Are Not Stupid Convention."

Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis
are not stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer."

Carlos Spencer (Hunky looking All Black Star) gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

Helen asks him, "What uz fufteen plus fufteen?" After fufteen or twinty
seconds Carlos says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 50,000 Kiwis start
chanting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen says, "Well sunce we've gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of you
un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast media
here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance."

So she asks, "What uz sivven plus sivven?"

After nearly thirty seconds he eventually says, "Ninety!"

Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -
everyone is disheartened.

Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their
hands shouting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance...What uz two plus two?"

Carlos closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four!"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Gidday

Well when I read this I instantly knew it was one of thos cut and paste and changing things to suit as it definately could not be true. Therefore it must have been in Aussie.

There is absolutely no way anyone could gather a crowd of more than two people where Carlos Spencer was not in the front.

Yep, ya right Jack... but it can't be from Aus cos we speak ENGLISH!!!

Gidday

Hey Boots, I was over on West Island a few weeks ago. I was there for a couple of weeks in deferent places and found that English is a very majority language. I was utterly amazed and how hard it was to communicate with anyone in the cities.

Gidday yooze jokers, Jack, the only thing wrong with Australia is that it is above water.
Robin.

Gidday

What amazes me is how can Australia be so dry when they have 20 million dribbling Aussies over there.

Well, at least we can sing...

Your blokes spend twenty minutes before everything they do, doing Huckies and trying to find a bit of spit.

But ya'll can't seem to get that up either.

Huck. Huck. Huck. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

When I was travelling round NZ back in the 80s, when I mentioned I was off to Australia next, everybody (and I mean everybody!) said "There's only one thing wrong with Australia - it's full of Australians!".

Sorry Boots!

Oy!