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101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:24 pm
by red
we are making homemade crackers this year. I need some jokes suitable for all the family... pleae help...
so far have
1. what does Father Christmas use to weed the garden? :his hoe hoe hoe
2. what's brown and sneaks around the kitchen? :mince spies
3. what did one snowman say to the other snowman?: can you smell carrot?
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 6:15 pm
by pumpy
Santa(looking out of the window) said to mrs. claus, "it looks like rain,dear".
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:18 am
by sleepyowl
I think you'll find most people will draw blanks on this, by the age of 12 most of my jokes were smutty
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:00 pm
by Penny Lane
5. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
'Jungle Bells'!
6. Did Rudolph go to school?
No he was 'elf'-taught!
7. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
(Red - how do you make crackers? Do you have a link?
)
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:18 pm
by red
thanks for the ones so far
Penny - I'll do some instructions in a bit - meanwhile save toilet roll inners!!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:23 pm
by Andy Hamilton
Little Girl "Daddy why can't I have a fawn for Christmas"
Dad "Well it's a little Dear"
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:17 am
by earthmotherwithin
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn't peeling well!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:11 am
by Milims
What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A Wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch?
A Winkey wonkey!
What do you call a 3 legged donkey with an eye twitch and bad wind?
A stinky winkey wonkey!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:48 am
by JulieSherris
Bit late, because you will have already done your crackers, but for next year....
Man goes into a shop to buy a new raincoat....
Shopkeeper: Sorry, I only sell T-Shirts, you'll have to go to Rudolph's place along the road, he specialises in outer wear...
Customer: Oh, you mean the Russian guy?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, everyone knows Rudolph the Red knows rain gear.....
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:42 am
by Rosendula
OK, it took me a year to come up with these, but better late than never.... and perhaps in time for this year's crackers?
Why did the wheel stop rolling?
Because it was tyred
Why did the wheel lay down?
Because it was wheely tyred
Why did the wheel go to the doctor's?
Because it wasn't wheeling very well.
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:21 am
by MuddyWitch
What do Hogworts call their annual talent contest?
The hex Factor
MW
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:12 pm
by pumpy
So, 12 months down the road............ Frank Carson was given some crepe paper, which was crushed round the outside of a toilet-roll inner tube & said (altogether now!)....... "that's a cracker!" !!!!!
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:40 pm
by red
dear oh dear
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:27 pm
by MuddyWitch
Ok, Pumpy's is the most cringworthy so far!
MW
Re: 101 family friendly cracker jokes
Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:55 pm
by pumpy
