Selfsufficientish.com

Muddypause wrote:

Stonehead wrote:if you make one more comment comparing the way I choose to live with an ancient sit-com then I will disembowel you with this axe.

Remember that the phrase 'living the good life' (or similar) predates the sitcom; the sitcom was, itself, referencing such a phrase ironically.

To ask if you are 'living the good life' is not necessarily comparing you to the programme at all. Ask them if they mean it with capitalisation before you do something too nasty to them.

[They enter the launderette. Vyv's dust-bin liner full of laundry emits green smoke. A pair of knickers is too slow in following him. Vyv points at the knickers -- "Oi!''-- and they fly into the launderette after him. Several people flee the laund erette, choking and gagging.]

[SCENE: in the launderette.]

NEIL: Come on, guys. Like, the sooner we start, like, the sooner we finish.
RICK: Hah! They said that about...eh...uh...Something that took a long time to finish.

VYVYAN: I hate these places. They're so depressing. You know, Michael, I would rather go to a lecture than a launderette.

MIKE: Come on, Vyvyan, don't exaggerate.

RICK: [Tugging at Mike's sleeve] Hey, I know a joke about that as well. Listen, pay attention to me. "I told you a million times, do not exaggerate!" [Rick laughs; Mike stares at him] Get on with it, Neil.


[Neil stuffs laundry into a washing machine, which spits it back out.]

WASHING MACHINE: No way!
NEIL: Oh, wow! Technofear! It's happening again! All the machinery's ganging up on me! Vyvyan!

VYVYAN: Get out of the way, Neil! Me and machinery have a very special understanding. [He talks to the machine] Now then, don't give me any gip, you bastard.


[All the washing machines in the row slam shut their doors oneby one as Vyv approaches]

VYVYAN: Oh dear. [Sotto to the guys] This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence. [Loudly] Oh, la-di-da! Look what I found in my laundry bag. All of Felicity Kendall's underwear, that needs a good wash!

[The machine makes a lecherous sound and opens its door.]

VYVYAN: NOW!

[The guys stuff their laundry into the machine, which gags and shakes in protest. The others hold the door shut as Mike reads the operating instructions.]

MIKE: Now, "make sure that the door is firmly closed" -- no, we've done that -- right, "fill the tray with powder" -- Powder! What do they mean, "powder"? Gunpowder, curry powder, cocaine? I mean, what's on their minds?
NEIL: Maybe they mean washing powder, Mike. Um...Oh, look, maybe if we got all the horrid sludgy bits out of the other machines we could get enough.

MIKE: Neil, you carry on...Right, "if you require conditioner..." Well, do we?


[Neil collects some sludgy bits and tastes them. He lookssurprised, and eats some more.]

RICK: No, Mike, that's just for people washing their hair.
MIKE: No, we don't want to go mad. Right, "Insert two 50-pence pieces..."


[All action stops suddenly]

[SCENE: The guys are back sitting dejectedly at the kitchen table.]

NEIL: Come on, guys, I don't think we should let this experience bring us down. I mean, what's so wrong with dirty clothes, anyway?
RICK: Yeah! You know what they say, "dirty pants, clean botty!"


[Close up on Mike, with ***several frames from "The End" of an old Western film*** edited in]

MIKE: "Dirty duvet, dirty mind."
VYVYAN: My knickers are so old, it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together!

RICK: Yeah, right on! One thing's for sure -- when Lenin led the revolution in Russia, no way did he do it with a spotless bott!

VYVYAN: YEAH! I LOVE MY BOTTOM SPOTTY!

NEIL: Yeah...Yeah...Let's never wash our clothes again!

MIKE: What do you mean, "again"?

NEIL: Yeah, yeah, we could be, like, the dirtiest students in the whole world.

MIKE: Hey, now there's a challenge!