Selfsufficientish.com

Just remembered another!
My Mum told me about this fab spready cheese she'd bought on holiday called "vashkiri" - so thats what I always called it - until my OH pointed out that she was speaking french and it was laughing cow!!

LOL that's brill!!!

ooh i've just been reminded by an earlier post...

Those beef slice things that you used to be able to buy to put in sandwiches:

They're elephants ears.

No-one ever understood why i liked sundays because we always had Elephant ear sandwiches...

A thin top lip means youre mean!

My son called his boy bits "george the elephant" One night he came to me and told me that one of george the elephants ears was swolen - so realising that this wasn't right called casualty and was told to take him straight to hospital. When we got there we were told that it was possible that he had a twisted bo****k and they may have to operate and if it was really bad they would have to remove the offending bo****k. So I told my son that it was ok they would sew something in its place to make him look alright if the worst happened. I told him that they had suitable replacements even if it meant that they used a pickled onion but the only way he would know if they did was if he scratched himself his eyes would water! I also told him that they would start off with a silver skin and when he was 15 he'd have to go back and have it replaced with a shallot. Does this make me really mean - even if it was funny????
PS - it was ok - he had only bruised it a bit when he fell off the wall - no real damage at all - honest!!!
PPS Even the Doc was stiffling giggles!!!

and you and your parents are not alone

I had an interesting month working as a shopping center Santa in Dundee a few years back, since then my sister has kept her kids well behaved at this time of year by pointing out "Uncle Philip used to work for Santa, if you misbehave he'll have to report you!"

It's great the power a white lie can have, they always quieten down :)

Merry wrote:If you don`t go to sleep the `ten o`clock horses` will come for you.

not heard that one.

I tell my friends children I have cats to keep the elephants away.....

My mother told me that it was rude to take red or purple sweets when they were offered. You should only take the yellow, orange or green ones. It wasn't until I was nearly 30 that I realised that it was just cos she didn't like the citrus flavoured sweets

when out walking with my Parents i would ask how much further and the reply was always its just round the corner /hill/mountain and it always wasn't!

My uncle Jack used to have rocks on his window sill, every time we went to visit him we would head for the rocks, because they had grown... yes they were growing rocks and we kids couldn't wait to see how much they had grown while we were away. Then one dreadful day his wicked house keeper told us to stop being silly, rocks don't grow and silly uncle Jack had put bigger ones out before we arrived... that was a sad day...

Don't know whether it's been mentioned already, but my mum used to say if I ate the apple core I'd get apple trees growing outta me ears!!








A twice yearly prune helps keep them in check I find!

some one already mention stepping on cracks in the pavement... my friend was told if you step on the cracks you'll marry the devil

My brother told me that my teeth had gone black because I had brushed them twice (y'know to be extra good ) I believed him and so went back and brushed them again (I was too short to see in the mirror) then he said they were even worse I must have spent an hour that night brushing my teeth

Same brother told me that the zipper on my cardigan was a caterpiller dipped in metal and that they get angry (presuimably from being dipped in metal) and 'get you' I remember standing in the garden screaming and screaming because I was petrified of the zip, but couldn't take the cardigan off (because, I'd have to touch the zip)

I was told that everything on my plate was chicken, so that I'd eat it (brussell sprouts DO NOT taste of chicken - I threw up)

School-day's are the best days of your life. Told to me by loads of people but granted not my mother - In fact one of the few nice conversations that I had with her when I was young was that school-days are the worst days of your life and it does get better (quite a good thing to hear from your mum when your a messed-up teenager)


Golly, that turned into a bit of a therepy session (sorry! )

Feel better!!

Oh yeah another one....if you get a spot on your tongue you'd told a lie!

Bonniegirl wrote:Feel better!!

Oh yeah another one....if you get a spot on your tongue you'd told a lie!

Jeeze your tongue must be covered in spots .....