That moment......

[red]

My "phobia" wasn't a phobia at all, simply that I had been trained as a child not to use the phone. It made me realise just how much of my adult life had been affected by the way my parents had brought me up.

Cheers
Zoe

ooo thats interesting - wonder if i can trace any of my hang ups to up-bringing... Guess all our experiences shape us.. even if we dont remember.

[Wombat]

I never used to like making calls, and put it down to never having had a phone at home. When I got a job where I was required to use the phone I had to get over it

Glad you worked it out Zoe! I think a remarkable amount of "stuff" we carry with us originated in childhood.

Nev

[pskipper]

A friend of mine says that the first 15 years of adulthood are spent getting over the hang-ups your parents give you!

[ohareward]

I'll second that, pskipper.

Robin

[Thomzo]

I went to a practitioner of chinese medicine for a while and she firmly believed that a lot of physical problems are related to emotional problems caused by childhood experiences.

She gave me a couple of books to read but I can't remember what they were called or who wrote them but they were very interesting and strongly supported that theory.

Zoe

[Milims]

I do like the way this thread is going. It's really interesting to read about those things that make us tick - especially when other people seem to have the same tickers - I guess we ain't all wierd after all!!
Having read what you have all said has also made me stop and think about life and how we go about it. Its amazing how much "baggage" we carry about with us that we don't even realise because we rarely take the time to stop and look at ourselves honestly.
I know that for many years I carried around hurts that I had felt as a child and still felt them as a child would, even when I had grown up. I decided one day that it was time to set the baggage down, so I revisited them as best I could. Those it was impossible to deal with directly, I forgave and let go. With the others, I spoke to the people involved as best I could (family members and such), explained what I was doing, asked them if they could remember the incident and if they could could, tell me about it from their point of view. If they remembered the incident, hearing their side of the story really put it into perspective and helped me to understand it as an adult and let it go. Those incidents that weren't remembered made me realise that although, they hurt at the time they can't have been so important and so I could let them go. I have to say it was quite hard work - but boy was it worth it - there's so much more room for the good stuff now!!!
I still have work to do - but hey - the definition of perfect is the finished article - and I have far too much living to do to be perfect!!

[Wombat]

Wow Milims! Well done!

I understand what you say about carrying things around and feeling them as a child would. When I was in 6th class (so about 11) my mother suffered a stroke and I had to stay home and help out. When I got back to school I gave the note to the teacher. She read the note but then asked me what I stayed home for in front of the whole class. My reply of "helping my mother" gave the class a good laugh at my expense, which from the look on her face was the desired result.

Still steams me after all these years - yes one must let that stuff go!

Nev

[Thomzo]

Nev
The sad thing of course is that now, all those people who were children then and are grown up now would think what a wonderful person you are and how brave to help your sick mother.

Zoe

[Wombat]

Thanks Zoe!

for many years afterward I framed what should have been my reply many tmes, but of course the moment is gone..........

Ah well, you can't help bad luck!

Nev

[Thomzo]

for many years afterward I framed what should have been my reply many tmes,

Boy do I know that feeling. The number of times you think afterwards what you should have said. I have now learned how to roll my eyes or raise my eyebrows in a meaningful way and just keep my mouth shut! Says everything without you actually having to think of what to say.

Zoe

[Wombat]

Good idea!

[Annpan]

Somewhere inside each of us is that 11 year old who couldn't answer back.

I watched some TV programme once (2 or 3 years ago) It was one of those shows where they get the experts in to deal with someones problem. The woman who was the subject of the show had a problem with money - spending too much, A phsycologist spoke to her and worked out that it had all stemed from her being bullied whe she was about 11. SHe was asked to imagine she could speak to that 11 year old, what would she say. I can't remember what the outcome was but that was a 'moment' for me.

If you could talk to yourself as a 10 year old or as a 25 year old what would you say? I have had some really harsh and horrid times in my life but now I picture myself talking to that 4 year old me, giving the 4 year old that much needed hug. Or the 25 year old and telling her that it is OK and things will get better. It has helped me cope with some bad memories.

When my baby was only 10 days old I had a severe anafalactic reaction to Penecilin... with everything that goes with having a new baby (and some extras I don't care to divulge) I didn't know, If the health visitor wasn't with me it might not have been caught. After it had been sorted, looking back on it thats another 'moment' it has changed my outlook on life forever... life is too short.

[Jack]

Gidday

Well I have always been the type of joker who believes just get over it and get on with life.

No point in holding grudges and the like.