Selfsufficientish.com

When I picked up our border collie/jack russell cross once I remarked "Isn't she heavy for her weight!".

When at a local animal park I was stroking a rather fat pony and thought she was pregnant so I had a feel of her belly and exclaimed that I could feel the foal, several children and mums approached and they were all interested in hearing about the foal when my wife pointed out that the pony was in fact a boy!

I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Jon

My evil ex-wife once said:

Can you call me back as my battery is flat!

And

Can we bump start the car when it is not moving?

Jon

I won't number this because it was said tongue-in-cheek. Probably. At least I hope so

My colleague, who lives next-door-but-one, asked me if I could stop my cat winding his dog up, because his dog chased my cat and hurt himself

Birdie Wife wrote: My colleague, who lives next-door-but-one, asked me if I could stop my cat winding his dog up, because his dog chased my cat and hurt himself

My neighboure has asked me to do the same with my cat, also can i stop my cat's killing the magpie's, UUURRRMMM NO!



Eve

ok, this has to be a contender for the golden stupid award 2008.

http://stonehead.wordpress.com/2008/11/ ... -the-pigs/

I was crying when I read that.

Good find, John

Eddie Izzard would love this and put it in his show!!

I just can't understand why they wanted pig's for meat but didn't make any conection in there mind's that a butcher would be needed in the plan or indeed a slaughter man/woman.

Very very funny but also rather worring.

Eve

I'd hate to have to tell her that eggs are an encapsulated hen's period!
Do you think she thought that pig lay sausages like hens lay eggs?

Milims wrote:I'd hate to have to tell her that eggs are an encapsulated hen's period!

Oh don't - they'd probably starve

on the bright side though, at least they discovered that pigs don't lay sausages BEFORE they bought them!! imagine if no mention of slaughter had been made! the mind boggles.

What about male pigs? Surely they wouldn't 'lay' sausages So perhaps they poop them. What if you fancy black pudding? A change in the pigs' diet perhaps?

Lol, this reminds me of a time when my younger brother was quite small and we were at the supermarket. It must have been near Christmas because they had a picture of a roast turkey with sausages around it at the end of one of the aisles and my brother pointed at it and said very loudly, 'Look, Mummy, that chicken's done a poo!!'

hamster wrote:Lol, this reminds me of a time when my younger brother was quite small and we were at the supermarket. It must have been near Christmas because they had a picture of a roast turkey with sausages around it at the end of one of the aisles and my brother pointed at it and said very loudly, 'Look, Mummy, that chicken's done a poo!!'

Kids are great at that sort of thing aren't they? I bumped into my next-plot neighbour as I was leaving the allotment last week. Despite going there for over a year now, I've only ever seen her twice before, so it's all still very polite between us - until last week.

Neighbour to my little girl: "Hello there"
Katie to neighbour: "My Mum went into the shed and did a wee"

Rosendula wrote:

hamster wrote:Neighbour to my little girl: "Hello there"
Katie to neighbour: "My Mum went into the shed and did a wee"

Ah yes....

My godson announced to a living room full of coffee morning ladies that his mum "has a wee in the field"
(They have horses and she was caught short at the other end of the field)

When my nephew (now 24) was wee he'd been staying with my parents and we had to take him home. It was going to be late when we arrived so my mum put his pyjamas on under his clothes. On the way we had to stop off at the shopping centre and all the way round his granny teased him that when we went back to the car park she was going to yell "my grandson is wearing his pyjamas!". So sure enough, from the top of the multi story she shouted out - not to be out done my nephew pulled himself up to his full 3 year old height and yelled "My grannys not wearing any knickers!"