How honest are you?

wulf · Post: # 77271Post **wulf** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:13 pm

I think "brutal honesty" is not greatly virtuous. You can tell it like it is without sowing discord and causing hurt and upset all around.

I prefer the phrase "speaking the truth in love". "Brutal honesty" can just be a front for "rampant selfishness" although, if someone asks for it (eg. the "does my bum look big in this?" question), answers like "yes" and "not as much as what you were wearing yesterday" are still fair game in my book.

Wulf

Merry · Post: # 77275Post **Merry** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:16 pm

Some years ago my sister in law was looking after my four year old grandaughter for me.
When Holly called her `Auntie G` she explained honestly that she wasn`t, in fact, her Auntie and Grandpa wasn`t, in fact, Grandpa because Grandpa,(my husband), was my second husband and not, in fact, Daddy`s real father but his step father.
Holly was devastated at this cool honesty and had to be comforted by assuring her that Grandpa loved her very much and that was more important than blood lines.

S-in-L was brutally honest all right but she should have minded her own bl**dy business.

QuakerBear · Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:26 pm

Judging from some of the replies here I think we're looking at different things. There's 'telling the truth with love', being 'brutaly honest' and 'putting forward information when it's not asked for, but doing so with the excuse of honesty'.

Stonehead · Post: # 77279Post **Stonehead** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:37 pm

QuakerBear wrote:Judging from some of the replies here I think we're looking at different things. There's 'telling the truth with love', being 'brutaly honest' and 'putting forward information when it's not asked for, but doing so with the excuse of honesty'.

And don't forget one man's truth is another man's lie. One set of facts gives rise to a multitude of truths.

QuakerBear · Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:41 pm

Stonehead wrote: And don't forget one man's truth is another man's lie. One set of facts gives rise to a multitude of truths.

Now that's getting into statistics. One could use maths to prove the moon was a giant teapot if you wanted and you'd still be telling the truth.

multiveg · Post: # 77285Post **multiveg** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:20 pm

Tooth Fairies (son lost first tooth on Monday) and Santa Claus, is all I want to say at this point...

wulf · Post: # 77291Post **wulf** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:14 pm

Is Santa Claus a lie or a big game we play at Christmas to stretch our imaginations? I still like to play it even though it doesn't have quite the sparkle it once had, just like I enjoy watching films that are full of stuff that people just made up.

Wulf

red · Post: # 77292Post **red** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:30 pm

its a lie thats turned into a big commercial load of insulting (insert expletive of your choice here)

bah humbug

baldowrie · Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:32 pm

could you tell that to my boys school who are telling my son he was saint in this country and my boy can't do anything Chirstmasy things as he is an atheist!

thefriarandme · Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:44 pm

I can't tell a lie to save my life. I probably tell lies by omission, but if my wife asked me if her bum looked big 'in this', I would have to turn it on its head and say it doesn't matter what I think, it's your opinion that matters!!!! I did say I was a coward didn't I?

More seriously, I think lies have their place. I would hope I could lie to save a life and so forth. Not sure I could though, my eyes give me away.

red · Post: # 77296Post **red** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:52 pm

baldowrie wrote:could you tell that to my boys school who are telling my son he was saint in this country and my boy can't do anything Chirstmasy things as he is an atheist!

tell him to celebrate yule instead

or the return of the sun, after the longest night.

thefriarandme · Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:24 pm

or just give him the homebrew and let him work it out for himself [joke]

snapdragon · Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:51 pm

Honesty, I always try to be
'Tis a good thing in general - but i do remember they used to say if you can't say anything nice about/to someone, then say nothing at all

seems like a bloody handy get-out clause to me

Midwinter festival can be celebrated by all

no religion required if you see it as an earth and sky celebration - we all live on the earth (some more than others

) and under the sky

(and you get your presents earlier (22nd))

baldowrie · Post: # 77328Post **baldowrie** » Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:54 pm

snapdragon wrote:Honesty, I always try to be

Midwinter festival can be celebrated by all no religion required if you see it as an earth and sky celebration - we all live on the earth (some more than others ) and under the sky

I like the way you think...same as me

Cassiepod · Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:09 pm

For all that it's uncomfortable, I wish we did all tell the truth instead of repvaricate to be nice or tell white lies. It mkes life a lot simpler if you know that auntie didn't like her christmas rpesent cos you know not tog et something similar. It's better for someone to say "I know you're going to hate me but that dress does not suit you" ratehr than try to figure out if they're being nice or honest.
I'm as bad as the next person for trying to avoid hurting people's feelings, but generally people do prefer the truth rather than being misled.

And it makes life easier not having to 'remember' the white lies... if you tell the truth all the time, and have constant beliefs you'll never be 'caught out'