Selfsufficientish.com

Personally I think the whole lot of 'em are guilty and should be thrown to the dog!

I have the odd tipple, but NEVER when I am soph's sole carer (i.e. never when my hubby is working or out) and never so I'm drunk enough to pass out.
I would not leave my baby in the hands of someone I don't completely trust.

I only have one friend who I trust enough to babysit, and other than her there's my mum who has 2 cats that live in the locked kitchen at night, or jim's mum who has 6 cats- 5 of which leave her house to go home to their reals homes every evening. neither mums drink; mine is a manic depressive who is on prescription medication... but it's to make her normal, not to get her high.

I would not trust jim's dad with sophie, and to an extent i wouldn't trust his brothers either. This is not because they have a dog (although Lily the greyhound does come into my decision making) but because none of them have any experience of children.

my babysitting mate is teetotal and has a veritable litter (sorry Tea but it's true ) and both our mums have had at least 3 kids each.

I would never forgive myself if I'd left my baby darling in the hands of someone who caused her any harm or even death.

Martin wrote: and taking real responsibility for your offspring!

Why some people go through the trouble of having a baby (nine months in the womb is a long time) and then leaving them during most of their waking hours to another person is a bit beyond me. But every parent has got their own predicaments and circumstances, so must not be judgemental.

Yesterday I saw an Asian mother struggling to keep a two-year-old under control. She could not get him to obey her or us AT ALL. Meanwhile the children looked after by childminders are brilliant at sitting still while eating their biscuit and drinking their juice.

Why?

superglue?

"Why some people go through the trouble of having a baby (nine months in the womb is a long time) and then leaving them during most of their waking hours to another person is a bit beyond me. But every parent has got their own predicaments and circumstances, so must not be judgemental."
[/quote]from LSP

I don't like leaving my child(ren) with other people - I had them, we chose to have them, but real life prevails, and bills have to be paid, food has to be bought, even housework has to be done occasionally! So trusty childcare is a modern essential in these days of not being able to let your kids run around the streets with neighbouring children, in the knowledge that everyone was looking out for them and no cars will knock them down.
This is the problem - trusty childcare. I used a childminder that I knew socially, and was mortified when she had failed to change ds1's nappy (he was in washables, not super-absorbing evil dispicables) and her child had bitten him! After saying I wanted him changed more frequently, and it not happening, I was lucky that circumstances changed and she couldn't "mind" him.
Also, I think it benefits the child to have some time out fromthe parent, be it a toddler group, a nursery class, or a stint with granny. It makes the child more socially aware, and gives you both some time to appreciate each other. (IMO)
It is tricky, as I posted before, when previously trusty childcare starts to get less trusty!
as for the superglue - I sympathise with the woman with fractious child - we are those parents whose child runs on to displays in shops, who will be lying on the floor of cafes, and who won't sit still (we got 5 mins into WereRabbit at bgg). You know, the ones who other people tut at, but other parents are relieved that it isn't them? I get so pleased to see other people's children acting up, not out of spite, but just to know that its not just mine!

(edit - I posted this at same time as circlecross)

Training, childminders tend to be very good at training children, they have to be.

I also cannot understand why some people have children when they have no real desire to raise them But as you say some people have different circumstances.

My mum had 6 kids and I feel really uneasy leaving my child with her and her new husband (who has 3 kids)...there are many reasons - none of which I would like to go into right now - The fact that they have had children themselves is no guarentee of their competance.

I fear that with this case, there is probably a history of neglect (in one form or another) You DON'T leave your child in a house with drugs, you DON'T leave your child with an incompetant drug user, you DON'T leave your child in the same home (garden or not) as a dangerous dog. The chances are that this kind of thing was not thought of as unusual to this family, and to many others. Sad, but I fear true

Martin wrote:

. Meanwhile the children looked after by childminders are brilliant at sitting still while eating their biscuit and drinking their juice.

Why?[/quote]

lol ... I dunno ... I am amazed that the kids do one lot of things and it usually good for childminders and another for their mums and dads... the best I always find is she/he ate what !!!

When I was in my early teens I overheard a discussion it went like this. I'll set the scene - train, me at the back of the carriage, a man chatting up a woman, loudly closer to the front.

Man - what do you do for work?

woman - I babysit 6 kids everyday

Man - how do you cope with the noise from all those kids?

Woman I always put some Valium in their milk at lunchtime, they sleep all the afternoon.


True story

Martin wrote:you do NOT leave a young child in a hotel bedroom, and clutter off for a meal

Seemingly it's OK if you're middle class ... the media would have made a whole different story out of that one if the parents hadn't rolled out their PR machine paid for by public donation...

And yet it used to be a regular feature of Butlins holidays (certainly not middle class) to have tannoy announcements in the evenings saying "There's a crying baby in Chalet No 27. Would the parents go and deal with it?" or words to that effect.

I think childcare is a lot more difficult now than it was in my childhood, because families are often split up over large areas instead of living in the same neighbourhood, and in some areas people don't know who their neighbours are. It used to be safe to play out on residential streets, because your mum or gran knew that Mrs So-and-so three doors down would keep an eye out for you. (Quite apart from the traffic problems).

Eigon wrote: It used to be safe to play out on residential streets, because your mum or gran knew that Mrs So-and-so three doors down would keep an eye out for you. (Quite apart from the traffic problems).

There may be some truth in that but it is largely fear that keeps children in doors not truth.... truth is that no more children are abducted and killed today than fifty years ago (it just feels like it because of the media - see Maddie overkill) and anyone,child or adult is overwhelmingly more likely to be abused or killed by someone they know (the more closely related the more likely). But bogeymen sell newspapers.......

I agree completely, Clara.