I'm Ill...entertain me!!

[2steps]

my parents bought me orange and lemon trees that apparently will grow and fruit here just fine (can't wait ) I'd love to grow satsumas, there my favorite fruit. The trees can go outside in the summer but come inside for winter. They'd probably be ok in a greenhouse too.

I have read that growing pips from bought fruit often doesn't work out as you expect as they maybe hybrid seeds so what you grow may not be like its parents. I think thats right Also as that type of plant was bred to grow somewhere other than here it may not survive. My best pip experiment was an avocardo seed. It took forever to germinate and I was going to throw it out and all of a sudden it started to grow. Had it for about 4 years as the avacardo had been from when I was weaning my daughter and the plant died when we moved house am going to start another when Jacks old enough to eat it as none of us like it but both my babies did when they were little.

My daughter has planted some acorns to see if she can grow a tree

[PurpleDragon]

When we lived in Australia my folks bought some fruit trees for the back garden. About a week after they had planted the 4' saplings, Dad sneaked out and hung fruit from them that he bought from the shop.

[the.fee.fairy]

I bought The Pip Book, as recommended by Stoney.

In there, the bloke (keith moss i think) says that if a pip is polyembronic (has more than one plant grow from the seed) the then shoots that are not the main one (i'm taking that to be biggest...) are more likely to grow true to fruit. Except hybrids (like satsumas) which are more likely to grow true to fruit.

I think

Its all an experiment to me anyway, i like watching things grow, and someone told me that citrus trees have nice-smelling leaves. I've rubbed the leaves on mine, and one of the plants smells orangey, and the other smells lemony, so i'm hoping that i'll get one of each. I've got 6 plants that germinated, 2 have died, and i've got 6 satsuma seeds sitting on the radiator in a jar.

Avocadoes: i'm on my 3rd, the don't seem to want to grow. I've put the latest (came out of a slightly overipe organic avocado) on top of a hyacinth vase, so that the water is just touching the bottom, and i've got another one (came from a younger avocado, and its more pointy) growing by the cocktail stick system. Well, i say growing, what i mean is 'sittin in water not doing much'. I'll probably give them til the end of february time to see what happens.

BTW Guys. I'm really touched at how many people posted jokes to cheer me up, really really touched, it made me feel better that people cared i think. So thankyou for that, it was really nice of all of you.

[Wombat]

Damn! forgot mine -

What do you play with a wombat?








Wom!

Nev

[Tay]

Gidday

Hey Tay, was that a French one? I always thought they had letters.

Hi Jack,

No, not a French joke. Despite living here, I don't know any - they don't seem to exist. That's not meant horribly, just that the sense of humour is different to that in the UK, and no doubt the rest of the world. It's actually a joke which my husband remembered (he's older than me), so probably from the days before 'protection'.

Wombat, that joke was even worse than mine! I bow to you!

[Wombat]

Thanks Tay, a true compliment indeed!

Nev

[Rough Jack]

Gidday

Oh well, I guess I am showing my age. Perhaps the French don't use letters like it was said they did.

[Muddypause]

The.Fee.Fairy, on contracting a chill
Said 'Tell me some jokes; it'll sweeten the pill'
So we told Fairy tales
Which cured all her ails
But left everyone else feeling ill

[Tay]

Gidday

Oh well, I guess I am showing my age. Perhaps the French don't use letters like it was said they did.

They certainly do. There are vending machines in the most unlikely places here! The spread of AIDS is taken seriously as there are many sufferers in France.

Having been inspired by the brilliant limerick from Stew, I thought I'd try one...

There was a young fairy named Fee,
She was self-sufficient to a T,
She did everything right,
Her future looked bright,
As she fertilised with a good dose of P!

One last bad joke, but it fits with the 'green' theme...

What does Kermit's middle finger smell of?



Pork

[Milims]

Chris has just come thru to see what I was screaming with laughter about (he could only just hear me above T-Rex playing full blast). Love the limerics - so much expressed is such a few words!!
Maybe we should have a ssish limeric competition to make a book to go along side the 101s

My contribution is based on a letter received when I worked in env health from a bloke complaining that he had to pick up his dog mess - especially if it had been sharing his curry the night before.......

Regarding your query 'bout dog do
We advise the following for you
If you must give him curry
Its much less of a worry
To give korma and not vindaloo

Sadly the boss wouldn't let me send it!!

[the.fee.fairy]

those limericks are ace! So ace i've yoinked one for my signature!

Ta very muchly guys.

ooh, on the satsuma front, i had another one today, with about 15 seeds in it, so they're going to be dried and then planted in a jam jar on top of the radiator like the rest.

the lychees are looking better every day

[Boots]

Was out in the yards today, and my daughter came out with this one, and then told me to make sure I tell my "gardening mates" - that's you lot!



What book do all gardeners subscribe to?












Weeders Digest.









... Seems even more fitting after Fee's P Limerick!

[digiveg]

Loved the 'wom'...

A crofter, while crofting his croft,
found a rather large bear in his loft
He said 'I can't throw it
or plant it or sow it
but I'll keep it because it's so soft.