weird and wonderful quotes

[homegrown]

The only thing more important than not being a slave to money is having enough money so as not to be a slave to poverty

to the rich poverty is having to go without wants, to the poor poverty is having to go without necessities

the five necessities of life... Food... Shelter... Wine... Women... and song... clothes are optional and children happen when they happen.

Stress... this is the minds ability to override the bodies desire to choke the living shit out of some a..hole who absolutely deserves it

The only difference between a woman spring cleaning and a tornado... is that the tornado is likely to leave survivors.


It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
-- Harry S. Truman

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
-- Elayne Boosler

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
-- Roseanne Barr

[crowsashes]

people should fall in love with there eyes closed. just close your eyes, dont look and its magic - andywarhol

'the intuitive mind is sacred gift and the rational mind a faithful servant... we have created a mind that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift' albert einstein

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, covered in scars, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'yahoo!', what a ride.'

Only after the last tree has been cut down, Only after the last river has been poisoned, Only after the last fish has been caught,Only then will you realise that money cannot be eaten

not so weird but for me definatly wonderful

[bonniethomas06]

Displayed on a sign at one of the protest sites for the Newbury Bypass:

"Let it not be said,
and said unto your shame,
That there was beauty here,
before you came".


Sniff.

[TheGoodEarth]

Spotted painted on the wall of a public toilet.

'Graffiti is vandalism'

[Bikil]

I always enjoy my signature. And just about anything by Douglas Adams or Robert Heinlein.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
— Robert A. Heinlein

"Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it."
— Robert A. Heinlein

[KathyLauren]

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Experience is what you get just after you needed it the most.

Some people's purpose in life is to serve as a lesson for others.

[Thomzo]

I don't know who originally said this, but a friend gave me this one:

I am not put on this Earth to satisfy your expectations and you were not put here to satisfy mine. You are you and I am me.

Zoe

[mrsflibble]

Storms make trees take deeper roots- dolly parton

and one i like to regularly parahrase from Scrubs "what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? [Bob Kelso]!"

[TheGoodEarth]

Estate Agents speak. 'Viewing Essential' You don't say! And here I was going to buy it without viewing it

Also, competitions on chocolate wrappers. 'No purchase necessary - see inside for details'

[greenorelse]

Seen on a t-shirt:

"What a stupid thing to put on a t-shirt"

[spider8]

Seen on a T-shirt..........Testiculation - waving your arms about and talking bollocks.

[boboff]

XXXL T Shirt quote

" I beat annorexia"

[old tree man]

Seen on a T-shirt..........Testiculation - waving your arms about and talking bollocks.

thats funny

[grahamhobbs]

Freedom is understanding necessity

[clanpowell]

There's no such thing as the wrong weather, only the wrong clothes.
Why should I learn Algebra, I never intend going there.
Billy Connelly
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Monty Python
And another t-shirt quote
To save time, assume I know everything.