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Personally I would have taken the dad by the throat ... see how he liked being knocked about ... Sorry ... but too much horrid behaviour is allowed to go on, an eye for an eye ... Its time folks had respect for others around them ... He should have at least made the child apologies. How is he to ever now how to behave if he's not taught. I don't think children should always be distracted either .. *water the flowers,* If a child is asked not to do something then they just shouldn't. Its one of the ways we protect them .. *don't run across the road*

I think you had every right to react sharply being slapped by anyone is bound to make you feel angry, and that was the last thing you were expecting ...

I know I will get yelled at for my feeling on both matters ... but I am strong and can take it

Hmmm, I've been thinking about this one. I think, with the 3 year old, a child of that age is really still learning the ropes of how to behave around others, especially when the child is in their own back garden and having lots of fun. It's a situation where you really need the back-up of the parents to explain to the child why they shouldn't squirt someone who has specifically asked not to be squirted. I wouldn't be too grumpy with the little one for squirting you, especially as you don't get that wet from one squirt of a water pistol, and as the child belonged to your friend and was at home. If it was my daughter and she squirted someone, I would tell her what she had done wrong, tell her to apologise, but I don't think I would shout at her unless she did it again, knowing that it was wrong. At 3, and at home in his own garden, your friend's lad probably just didn't quite grasp how serious you were when you told him not to do it, which is where the parents should have stepped in to explain it to him. As an aside, I know a lot of people with boys who have this annoying 'boys will be boys' attitude, and they don't discipline their sons for things like this, even though they would discipline their daughters. They seem to think boys have some kind of right to be raucous and rude and horrible, while the girls get told that it's wrong. It drives me mad! I would agree that distraction is a good tactic. It's amazing what tiny little things a 3 year old can find interesting. A lot of the time I think they just want someone to pay them some attention when there are a lot of adults around and they're getting ignored, so it's probably not even that important what you try to distract them with, they'll just be glad that they're not being ignored.

As for the bigger kid in the supermarket, well there's no excuse for a lad of that age to be running around and behaving like a toddler. I would have done the same as you, and I think too many people would keep quiet, which is how these horrible kids get away with it and grow into horrible teenagers, and then horrible adults. I wouldn't tolerate being thumped by some stranger's brat just because they can't be a**ed to keep tabs on them in the supermarket. 10/11/12 - by the time they reach double figures they should at least be capable of conducting themselves appropriately in a supermarket. I'm very forgiving of toddlers as the world is just one big playground for them (and it should be - why in the world should they be taking life seriously?!), but if they don't have strong parents and role models then they don't have a hope in hell of realising what they are doing wrong, and that's not their fault but the fault of the adults who are teaching them. For someone who is almost a teenager, though, it is pitiful and rather embarrassing to be behaving that way in a supermarket.

There you have my profound thoughts on parenting! I'm still quite new to it, though, as my oldest is only 2 and a half (and very well behaved, unless she has permission to run riot!).

what an interesting debate - no easy answers. Personally, I think if you have asked a child not to do something, their parent should support you - also I think you were brave to stand up to the fact that you were assaulted at the supermarket. Hopefully the child saw his effect on you and may have learnt something.

I will say that as a non parent but as someone who has had lots of contact with children over the years - what I find frustrating & narrow minded is how some parents think the whole world should revolve around their children, and don't seem to understand that their children are not as important to you as they are to them, and that they should be allowed to do whatever they want even if it's not their home.

When I was a student many moons ago, there were 2 older boys next door who kept throwing their ball into our garden. (they also seemed to have thrown oranges at the window, I had some permanently stuck on an upstairs window). I got so fed up (couldn't see why they couldn't go to the very large park just down the round) that I warned them I would confiscate their ball if it happened again - which I did..Now, I would not have kept it more than a day or two but that night I had a visit from the father asking for the ball back - no apologies - I didn't even have the chance to explain properly - his attitude was they were only children, and he was reacting to his children being upset. Now, I still stand by what I did - these children were old enough to understand what they were doing - and were still kicking a ball over a pretty high fence. The only other thing I could have done was maybe speak to the parents but I had no relationship with them, and I'm not sure if the mother even spoke English.

But I am also the one who is very good at making messes with younger children!