Parental Pork Pies

[Daisy's Mum]

Okay then own up - I need cheering up, after a grueling Christmas weekend of trawling around all of DH's eight (yes count them eight) brothers and sisters, I was beginning to get a bit upset at the 'How old is she now?" '15 months" "and she's still not talking? Mine were practically fluent by 12 month"

surely not! She's babbling and all that but surely not full coherent sentences? AARRghh! I know it shouldn't get me down but sometimes these things really niggle.

So come on, cheer me up and lets hear any whoppers that you have born witness to or even said yourself!

Lorna x

[Shirley]

I can't think of any right now but have a hug anyway... I HATE this comparison that people do... all children are different and will do things at their own pace... and while one might talk earlier than another, the other child might be concentrating on another skill... blah blah....

[Daisy's Mum]

blah blah seems to be about the sum of it LOL! I know it should get you down but sometimes you just can't help yourself!

Lorna x

[Shirley]

What a beautiful pic in your avatar Lorna!!

[red]

urgh - sympathy - I hate that competitive parental thing too - and if one more person tells me that Einstein didn't speak until he was 8 or some rubbish........ grrrr


cant think of any porkies I have told...

perhaps you need to think of a one liner reply.. along the lines of 'no - not talking yet, but you know I don't want to put her under pressure by being one of those AWFUL pushy parents who make a race out of everything..'
then again.. you cant win these things.. better to let it go, and just be secretly smug that your child is the best one

[Chickpea]

It's not so bad if you realise that people are proud of their kids, just as you are proud of yours, and like sharing their accomplishments. It goes like this:
Agatha "My little Hugo was talking at 9 months!" [but she doesn't admit he still has never slept through the night by age 4]
Bertha "Oh really? My little Angharad could play a tune on the violin at 10 months!" [but still needs a nappy aged 5, although no-one else knows]
Camilla "The violin, you say? How interesting. My Iolathe won a Nobel Prize for mathematics at age 3" [but is a badly behaved brat who throws tantrums when he doesn't get his own way, which is hardly ever. Everybody knows this but nobody talks about it]
Deirdre [says nothing because her son Emlyn doesn't do any of these impressive things. However he slept through from 6 months, was potty trained at age 2, and is mostly well-behaved with just the odd wobbler like any normal child]

The answer is to join in. There's something you're proud of your child for? Of course there is. So share that. Because if Deirde had told her son's accomplishments, Agatha, Bertha and Camilla would have been green with envy. Don't view it as a competition, view it as a sharing. Here's what they're really saying:

Agatha {I'm proud of my son}
Bertha {I'm proud of my daughter}
Camilla {I'm proud of my son}
Deirdre { }

When you look at it this way it's more obvious that Deirdre should join in, and not be intimidated or competitive.

[titch7069]

URGH - i remember competitive parenting, don't have it here as we don't have anyone to mix with, but, in the uk my next door neighbour was a social worker - nothing wrong with that - except, she assumed it made her a better parent and her kids better than anyone elses. her 7 year old was recently excluded permanently from his 3rd primary school for beating up fellow pupils and the teachers. Divine retribution???? mine are obviously perfect angels lol!

[Boots]

I can't remember when my kids did what

One was quick, one wasn't... and they are still like that - in that one tears around like a lunatic doing 6 things at once and talking about 7, while the other likes to poke about, is pretty thorough and kinda cruisy with things.

Being 17months apart no sooner would the first move through one annoying phase, the next would start, and I spent the first 5 years with my eyes rolling out of my head saying, "ooooh, here we go AGAIN!!!"

I really like your perspective Chickpea. I agree with it, but doubt I could ever have been bothered joining in, to be honest. I was never one to bother too much with that kind of talk (still can't do it ) would much rather just go out and play with the kids. They have less hangups, I reckon. Kids are just growing and don't give a fig what the books, or Aunty whoever says they should be doing. If only we could bottle that innocense.

I love the avatar too. Heaps good.

Parental Porky Pies...hmmm. I hope I have never told any. Have always tried to be as straight up with my kids as possible. I was so relieved when they finally decided Santa wasn't real, cos I was consumed with guilt every time they would question me about him. When I was able to actually tell them they had a choice in what they believed, I felt like a massive load was lifted. They still say they believe and this year was the first time Santa came to me in a long time. Got a kick out of that. I'm like that with religion too... I think my kids respect other peoples belief systems, because they understand what a belief system is now... a choice.

Sorry - think I may have just wandered off on a tangent....lol

[Milims]

You are a fab mum and you have a beautiful baby and sod what anyone else thinks!!!
I spent ages talking to my kids about everything and teaching them to play what I called mouth games to encourage speech (you know blowing raspberries etc) and really encouraging them to talk. The thing is now they are 10 and 12 there are frequently times that I wish they would shut up!!! So look at it this way - your your baby talks later you have more peace than the pushy mums!!! lol!!
There is the other one.........
there was a son who never spoke until he was 34 and his first words were at the dinner table where he said "pass the salt please" His parents were agog and asked him why he hadn't spoken before. His answer was simply "well everything has been perfect until now!"

Chin up chuck - and teach your baby to blow raspberries - at the push mums then pass it off as speech training!!!

Hugs to you
Helen and Chris

[funkypixie]

It doesn't matter what everyone else says - they're all doing pretty much the same things by the time they get to 5

And they are all different. My oldest sat on his backside and didn't really move until he was about 15 months - but he opened his mouth at about 11 months and has barely closed it since My youngest, on the other hand, could climb before he could walk but spoke much later and still has some speech difficulties now (he's 3).

Be proud that your little one is happy and that she is her own person with a Mum who loves her. And if you feel like bragging a little - do it!

I'm sure I must have told my 2 a few whoppers in my time but I can't think of any offhand.

Anna x

[PurpleDragon]

Folk drive me nuts that my 2 year old is still in nappies and theirs arent. Nothing is ever said, but you get 'the look' - know what I mean?

I always say "I don't agree with pushing children to do things they aren't ready to do. When she is ready, she will choose to use the toilet. I'm not prepared to battle with her, and go thru three pairs of clothes a day, just because she has reached an age group. I like to enjoy her babyhood, not rush it past with pushing her into growing up"

They then go away feeling all criticised for forcing their kids to do things mine will/have accomplish when they are ready. (evil grin)

[red]

i do believe in natural maturation - i.e the kids do things when they are ready. you can make the opportunities.. but they they pick the time.

For me - my son is moderately disabled, and did everything late - he did not walk until 2 years 8 months, learnt to sign before he talked, a couple of years later. and now at age 13 still hitting milestones when he is good and ready.

he has *always* been dancing to a different tune to everyone else - but in truth its a really good tune.

(My son's special talent to brag about? he has always been great to take to restaurants - well behaved, eats international/spicey/ not traditional kid food, good company - but hey I'm biased)

[Daisy's Mum]

Hey Guys,

Thanks for all that it really made me smile.

Feel v. proud of Avatar too. I have been slinging my little dumpling since the day she was born, and she still loves being in it now. ( I make slings for a v. modest living, and travel around my local area extolling the virtues of baby carrying, it keeps me at home with my DD and to me thats what counts at the moment)

Lorna x

[mrsflibble]

" she has water in her drinks bottle and the cookies are home made and sugar free" to an old lady on the bus who had no right to stick her nose in.

really, my Soph had elderflower cordial in her water bottle (weak as gnat's waz) and the cookies, although home made, were not sugar free.

[Cornelian]

LOL I didn't speak until I was about 7. I was deaf for the first 5 years of my life and it wasn't picked up until I went to school for the first time. My parents hadn't noticed - or were simply grateful that I was a quiet and untroublesome child, the youngest of a big bunch of unquiet and troublesome childs.