Milims wrote:Telesales for a burgler alarm company - cold calling, commission only. Didn't make a penny Had one particularly stroppy bloke tell me that he was going to complain to my boss for calling him so I said to him "I'll tell you what you can do with your complaint - STICK IT down on paper, SHOVE IT into and envelope and RAM IT into the letter box, and I'm sure it will get here!" I didn't go back after that shift!
Haha! This is hilarious. I worked in telefundraising for many years. It was better than telesales since we were calling people for not for profit groups, but it was still pretty awful.
I also filed microfiches for a Home Title Company. It was pretty awful because if you think papercuts are bad, microfiche cuts are truly terrible!
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
- Douglas Adams
Has to be my three days working as a hotel porter in a posh hotel, Chester. I was 18 the same week. First time away from home. I imagined I would have a plush hotel room to live in. The staff manager told me to get my coat and he would show me to my room. Thought it was odd putting a coat on to go upstairs. Then he produced a torch....we walked down some back alleys and he unlocked a lock up garage. Inside they had fitted a bath, sink toilet, two ring camping stove and two beds. The bath was filthy. The previous occupant an alcoholic had been found dead in there and no one had cleaned up. They had at least removed the porse which was a blessing. The other lad I was sharing with had just come from Scotland and was sobbing for his family. I spent the whole night scrubbing, cleaning and dumping sherry bottles. Breakfast was an inedible fried egg and one tiny piece of burnt bacon in the filthy staff canteen.
The next day an American tourist asked where he could buy a paper and I went to ask the receptionist who screeched at me never to approach 'Reception' until she dinged her bell! Then I had to prepare morning coffee and didn't know where everything was so I asked a waiter where I could find spoons. He went hysterical and told me he was a silver service waiter and did not speak to porters about spoons. On day three I saw the general manager in the foyer and asked where the switch was for the outside lights. He ignored me and a frantic under manager dragged me away bawling that you never speak to the GM unless he speaks to you! Another Irish lad who worked in the bar had a similar time with the head barman so the two of us threw our uniforms at the receptionist, added a few comments which were personal to her and walked out for the train station and headed home.
Was anything good? Yes. a Soviet trade delegation booked in but arrived with an extra guest. They found him a bed in another hotel about a mile away. I was told to carry his heavy case there. Once outside he took the case (he was about seven foot) carried it all the way and gave me a 50p tip. That bought four pints of beer then.
Last edited by bill1953 on Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just because you see two eyes shining in the jungle at night, do not think that the worse thing that could happen is that you are about to be attacked by a tiger. It could be two one-eyed tigers.
That would be working in the broccoli freezing plant... 12 hour nightshifts, 13 days a fortnight, with an hour's bus journey either end (except on Sundays, when there was no bus when you came off shift and you had half an hour's walk to get one), no canteen, no nothing except a Klix coffee machine, sub-zero temperatures, constant ammonia leakage from the blast freezer (everyone knew that you had to hold your breath in that part of the plant)... Of course the first thing we did when we went on shift was clean the plant, and the provided "waterproof" gear was old and knackered, so you'd spend the entire shift in wet clothes. Oh, and this was before the heady days of minimum wage...
The second hardest night's work we ever put in was the night they set us to "reprocessing" the one-tonne containers of frozen peas that hadn't been frozen properly before going in the storage freezers... "Reprocessing" involved breaking up these one-tonne ice cubes with sledge hammers and pinch bars. The hardest night's work we ever put in was the night they told us the HSE was coming to inspect the factory the next day, and we had to sort the place out so that they wouldn't get closed down on the spot. Never did patch that ammonia leak though...
It was apparently a glorious summer that year, from what little I saw of it on the way to and from this cold Hell. Oh, and the upstairs neighbours were renovating, so my 6 hours of attempted sleep were plagued with constant hammering and floor-sanding. I lasted about 6 weeks, but I completely lost my mind in the process.
I had similar (but not so severe) jobs in the distant past. They got the money to go to the pub, but that's about all you can say about them. Narrowly avoided being brained by a five hundredweight lump of steel once but, as I say, it bought the beer. Oh - I almost forgot gasping for air on top of a set of Coalite ovens (you had to wear very thick-soled wooden clogs to avoid burning your feet). That was fun. Come to think of it, that was the worst one - a thousand and one ways to severely injure yourself inside a week. I lasted for a whole college summer holiday.
Mike
The secret of life is to aim below the head (With thanks to MMM)
Mine was a trainee sewing machinists.I was living in Australia at the time and in my early 20's.My best mate also applied and we started together.She was a trained machinists so we worked in different departments.Back then the government subsidised trainee's wages on certain jobs and mine was one of them,so the company only paid half my wage,the goverment the other half.I was supposed to have a 6 week induction,so to start with,the supervisor gave me the job of sewing labels on jeans.I was told I had to sew on a certain amount per hour,and after a week I figured I was doing really well as I had pretty much reached the target.2 weeks into the induction,the supervisor called me into the office and told me they were firing me,due to not meeting targets!!!I stated I was still on induction,and had another 4 weeks left but nope,they told me I was'nt good enough! As I was collecting my stuff to leave my mate approached me and said she also got the sack!We both went to the local Job Centre to lodge complaints.A week later the Job Centre contacted us and said we had been unfairly dismissed and that the company had to reinstate us both but it had left a sour taste in our mouths and we declined the offer.
I reckon apprentice sumo wrestlers must have the worst job of all. One task is to constantly make huge quantities of stew for the senior wrestlers. Another job is to wipe the bums of the senior wrestlers as the latter are too obese to do it themselves. It's a vicious circle, the more stew, the more poo.
Just because you see two eyes shining in the jungle at night, do not think that the worse thing that could happen is that you are about to be attacked by a tiger. It could be two one-eyed tigers.
Had one particularly stroppy bloke tell me that he was going to complain to my boss for calling him so I said to him "I'll tell you what you can do with your complaint - STICK IT down on paper, SHOVE IT into and envelope and RAM IT into the letter box, and I'm sure it will get here!" I didn't go back after that shift!
Haha! This is hilarious. I worked in telefundraising for many years. It was better than telesales since we were calling people for not for profit groups, but it was still pretty awful. 
