weird and wonderful quotes

[clanpowell]

There's no such thing as the wrong weather, only the wrong clothes.
Why should I learn Algebra, I never intend going there.
Billy Connelly
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Monty Python
And another t-shirt quote
To save time, assume I know everything.

[MuddyWitch]

Said to me by a sixty-something neighbour (in despair, after her hubby had just said something daft):

Of course 'common sense' isn't very common amongst 'baby-boomers'...every-thing was rationed just after the war!

MW

[sleepyowl]

Ironing is a cosmetic chore & I'm not much into cosmetics (a reason I once gave for wearing a t shirt that was a little creased but I didn't think was that bad)

If I want your opinion I will read your entrails (t shirt slogan)

My favourite quote is about giftwrapping & it comes from Buffy
Willow: Does this look right?
Anya: Only if you wrapped it with your feet

[happyhippy]

Don't give a beggar money,give him a job!Mahatma Ghandhi

[Susie]

Marge Simpson to Lisa:

'Lisa, women always say you can't change a man'. Pause. 'I call those women quitters'.

[Milims]

I was just reading our parish news letter and came across this:"The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles"

[bonniethomas06]

I live by this gem courtesy of Miss Piggy:

'Never eat more than you can lift'

Works for me!

[southeast-isher]

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact... just surrounded by assholes" ~ William Gibson

[Thomzo]

This one is a freebie from me for any girls who go to dancing classes such as modern jive or salsa:

Never dance with a man who is fitter than you.

Zoe

[greenorelse]

Abstinence is a virtue.

Thus, abstaining from abstinence is doubly virtuous.

[greenorelse]

Saw one in a newspaper piece about corruption in government:

"He broke the politician's eleventh commandment: thou shalt not be found out."

[KathyLauren]

Abstinence is a virtue.
Thus, abstaining from abstinence is doubly virtuous.

Even moderation should be practised in moderation.

[Mrs H]

If you can't blind them with brilliance baffle them with bull shit!

[MKG]

Said to me by a friend in about 1970 - so you can imagine the scene ...

"When you're already on the floor, you can't fall out of bed".

It seemed meaningful at the time

[pelmetman]

Once a year is regular sex