Breast feeding, socially unacceptable or not?

[citizentwiglet]

I think that this is the differance between myself and my husband (origional start of the thread)
I grew up surrounded by women breast feeding so it was something that seemed normal to me, no one made a big show of it, but also no one hid themselves under a towel of cushion (which was why I found this so odd).
Yet my husband did not see women breast feeding at all. So to him it seems totally alien.
I will just have to wait and see how I feel when the time comes.

You were a girl, though. Do you think a boy might have been excluded from such activities, back in the day? (Not the Dark Ages, obviously, but you know what I mean.....). Would a boy, or a man, have been given a silent cue to leave the room / look the other way? I've been talking to a few of my friends about this very topic and whereas most girls have recollections of being around breastfeeding, only one out of fifteen of my male friends remembered being around it, even when they had younger siblings who were breastfed. Was it OK for girls to see it, but not for boys, I wonder?

[tiggy]

As a society we need to get real and stop getting in a frenzy over purely natural things.I chose to be child free but would prefer to be where a contented baby is quietly feeding as nature intended rather than cope with an unhappy screamer.

[Helsbells]

Quite possibly citizen twiglet, although he is the youngest of two boys, and comes from a very conservative family.

[naomij]

I love bfing and do it wherever and whenever

When my baby was new I sometimes felt a little shy but that was because it was more of a faff to latch her on, so I felt a bit self-conscious and clumsy! Now she's 1 she sorts herself out, feeds in the sling/on my lap/standing next to me whilst I'm sitting on the floor

I also always think...would you rather see her bfing, or hear her screaming...

I do think our society has a long way to go on this one.

[RobHed]

What sort of society are we that does not allow mothers to naturally feed their young in public ? I think the sight is one of the most beautiful things and whilst it may not be a good thing to just whip out wherever (in church during a service may cause a few problems or at a funeral....lol), what is the problem here ? Perhaps this harks back to our Victorian past.....

Rob (I'm a chap )

[madabouthens]

I'm another chap and just about all the Mum's in our Church breastfeed. I think it should be the norm, anywhere and everywhere. Better for the Baby, better for the Mum and better for the Planet we share with others.

Tony

[RobHed]

I'm another chap and just about all the Mum's in our Church breastfeed. I think it should be the norm, anywhere and everywhere. Better for the Baby, better for the Mum and better for the Planet we share with others.

Tony

That is most enlightened of your church and good to hear, Tony.....!

[sortanormalish]

I haven't read all the posts, sorry if I'm repeating.

There is a Mennonite (sect of the Amish) community not far from here. Every so often you see a young mother with what appears to be a giant baby bib tied around her neck. Protruding from beneath are tiny little feet. These are some of the most modest people in the world and they don't hesitate to feed a hungry baby in public. I've seen muslim women do the exact same thing. I took their cue, so others wouldn't feel awkward around me.

My husband thought I was mean to cover our babies up and not talk to them while they ate. He didn't care that other people would see my boob and didn't hesitate to confront people who were rude.
His thoughts on breasts are this: They aren't just toys for men unless they are filled balloons, in which case they are actually worthless. Most men don't even get turned on by fake ones (his claim, not mine). Curiosity is not the same as excitement he says. Breasts are organs for feeding young because humans are mammals, thus, instinct drives men toward women they see as potential breeders, whether they actually want to breed or not.

[Gwnïo]

I think that this is the differance between myself and my husband (origional start of the thread)
I grew up surrounded by women breast feeding so it was something that seemed normal to me, no one made a big show of it, but also no one hid themselves under a towel of cushion (which was why I found this so odd).
Yet my husband did not see women breast feeding at all. So to him it seems totally alien.
I will just have to wait and see how I feel when the time comes.

Helllooo :)

My husband is one of 5 brothers, not a single one of them was breastfed and their mother always said it was disgusting and actually shuddered in front of me once!
My son has just turned 2 and is still breastfed, albeit mainly during the night. I freely breastfed infront of mother in law and her friends and sisters, didn't go flashing them about of course! (Although when J's brothers were around I did cover up a bit more!)
She's now slightly more accepting of it, especially as my son is fit and healthy and not pale and sickly as she imagined!
J came round to it after a short while, I think there was an issue with no-one but me feeding baby and people not knowing how else to help a new mum than that way... does that make sense???

I'm sure your husband will come around to it in time, and then it'll just as natural to him as it is for you

[Helsbells]

Yey, I am so glad this thread has come back up again, it's so interesting.

There is a Mennonite (sect of the Amish) community not far from here. Every so often you see a young mother with what appears to be a giant baby bib tied around her neck. Protruding from beneath are tiny little feet. These are some of the most modest people in the world and they don't hesitate to feed a hungry baby in public. I've seen muslim women do the exact same thing. I took their cue, so others wouldn't feel awkward around me.

This is still a problem for me though, why should the baby be covered with a towel? I am not saying fling your boobs all over the place, but surely part of breast feeding is bonding with the baby, how can the baby and you bond if it can't even see you with it's head stuck under a towel?

I have made it quite clear to hubby that I will certainly not be doing this.

[Helsbells]

Just re-read post and sorry if it sounds aggressive!! Obviousely it's all about choice and women should be able to choose to feed their baby in whichever way is best for them without fear of critisism from others.
Anyway what do I know, I don't even have a baby!!

[sortanormalish]

This is still a problem for me though, why should the baby be covered with a towel? I am not saying fling your boobs all over the place, but surely part of breast feeding is bonding with the baby, how can the baby and you bond if it can't even see you with it's head stuck under a towel?

I have made it quite clear to hubby that I will certainly not be doing this.[/quote]

I agree that the time spent bonding is valuable, but public feeding is usually the exception so I don't think a feeding here or there under a towel should be a problem. If you find more than a few feedings under a towel, toss the towel.

But my point was that even in extremely modest cultures, women still feed in public because feeding the baby is more important than an ogler's opinion.

I knew when I fed in public that some people would be offended no matter how much was hidden. I wasn't concerned about those people, nothing makes them happy. I was trying to be sensitive to people who understand how babies eat, but don't want to look at my boob.

I thnk that the easiest way to change attitudes is not a topless walk down the avenue, but women casually/discretely feeding in public while going on with ther lives. I think we need to exude an air of normalcy in order for others to realize it is, in fact, normal.

[2+bump]

I am a breastfeeding mother, my youngest is 7 months and I always feed him wherever and whenever he needs fed. I do try to be discreet about it for my sake, not for others, I wouldn't walk around topless for all to see so why would I get them out in full view when I'm feeding. It really shouldn't be the issue that it is in this country, as with the issue of what age you should stop feeding, it is the healthiest way to feed your baby if your able to

[Peppa Pig]

I have breast fed my 24 month old since day one and Im just weaning her off now finally. I have never got them out in public although sitting in the garden I get them out and its lovaly just sitting there with the birds and all that.
I wouldnt feel safe from prying eyes as having lots of milk in gives you bigger boobs that get stared at anyway and the last thing I would like attract are other people in what I see as a private, comforting for baby meal.


Of course on the gogglebox you wouldnt know I was that old, its amazing what they can do now with makeup

[Bosom Buddy]

Hi all,

Felt compelled to join in the discussion! There's a lot of mixed views from the public, as far as 'should do it in the toilet', 'should be discreet' and 'with all this modern science do women even need to breastfeed anymore' being a sample of the comments received! Women do find it difficult to breastfeed in public due to the fact it's not 'normalised' in western society, we are inundated everday with representations of how breasts 'should' look, not what they should be used for. Sex education is taught in schools, but no aspect of caring for babies so we miss the opportunity to change opinions towards breastfeeding. It seems our education system thinks that if we discuss caring for babies our already high teenage pregnancy rate will increase - so what if it does, does age really signify the 'quality' of parent? (But that's another discussion!)

As a breastfeeding Mother, I came up against many hurdles along the way. So much so that a friend and I actually created a breastfeeding in public group (Bosom Buddies, find us on Facebook!) where Mums can come along and feed their little ones knowing they are surrounded by like minded individuals and have no reason to have the 'feeds of shame' in the loos or in the back of the car. By supporting women to breastfeed in public, we change opinions by allowing individuals to see that breastfeeding does happen! I've even had children come over to ask me what I'm doing?? What a shame that society sees breastfeeding as a taboo, but women getting drunk, leary and urinating in the streets is now pretty much a social norm. There's a website called Milky Mums who are proposing having little business card sized 'Thank you' cards to hand out to women who they see nursing in public, what a fabulous idea. How mad it is that in this world the most beautiful, caring act is up for discussion as being socially unacceptable?! I in no way would compare breastfeeding to the social unacceptable acts I see happen in my local town centre on a weekend! Breastfeeding in public is not a crime, nor should any woman feeding be made to feel that it is.

Rant over :)