Tactfuly tell a friend something?

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KathyLauren
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 218906Post KathyLauren »

Hinting is not a good communication strategy. It requires mind reading, something that most people are not good at. There are two ways forward: keep accepting scented cakes and somehow dispose of them safely, or tell her that there is a problem.

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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 219119Post Keaniebean »

I have to say that If it were me I would just keep accepting them and keep your chickens happy. It seems so rare that people are considerate towards others anymore, I wouldn't want to risk upsetting the status quo.
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 219178Post greenorelse »

I'm very impressed by all you people! What a nice bunch you are, an example to the wider world.
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224611Post cocobelle »

Berti wrote:well that will soon be real fat chickens then !!!
Yes or garden birds.

This problem is a hard one, but i think the only way is by being honest,problem is you just know it'll hurt her feelings, unless that Rhino hind really is that thick. Good luck!
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224634Post Milims »

I've gone on a diet and am encouraging her the same way! :wink: That's not as bad as it sounds - she needs to lose weight for health reasons.
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224683Post JillStephens7 »

Sorry to hear this, I have similar problems with my mum, mother in law and step mother in law so can sympathise.
I think Keith has told us how it is ...
KeithBC wrote:Hinting is not a good communication strategy. It requires mind reading, something that most people are not good at. There are two ways forward: keep accepting scented cakes and somehow dispose of them safely, or tell her that there is a problem.
I accept and dispose with my step MIL as she would throw a wobbler and be horrible (though to be fair she does this a lot anyway :roll: ), hubby has talked to his mum about it but she just gets upset then carries on regardless. With my mum, I can't bear to tell her so alternate between awkwardly refusing things wiathout giving a reason and accepting and disposing!

With mum and MIL they smoke too so it's not just cakes, but magazines and anything they pass on to us. Eek! I think I'll just pretend it's not happening, there are bigger fish to fry. they never will 'get it' as they are acclimatised. Good luck :sunny:

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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224686Post Susie »

I'm just amazed that air fresheners are so strong they make your cakes scented! That can't be good for the people living with the air fresheners!
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224715Post Milims »

Susie - a wee while ago I went to a ladys house to pick up a dishwasher from freecycle. She had such a strong airfreshener it took my breath away and even when |got it home the dishwasher smelled of airfreshener. Yesterday she came to the shop where I work and she smelled very stongly of the air freshener. :shock: Scary!
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 224719Post pelmetman »

We both hate air freshners and stopped buying them years ago. For one thing can't stand the smell of them and surely if the house is kept clean and windows/doors opened to let fresh air in there should be no need for them.

Am surprised at the number of houses we go in where people actually use the battery operated ones that let off puffs of the foul smelling stuff at set times.

I also worry what it is doing to their health. Give me good old fashioned fresh air.

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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 225411Post Millymollymandy »

I used to use them when I smoked inside which must have been double yuck for anyone coming to my house! :lol: Nowadays they are all banned but I can't decide which smells worse, pooey smell in the toilet or spray air freshener. Both are gross. :?
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 230557Post cocobelle »

I don't think there's a nice way of telling her. Lets hope she never comes across this forum. I once made some bread using some flour that had been sat next to a box of washing powder in the kitchen only for a few weeks. The bread was inedible because it tasted like surf. Yuk
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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 230636Post Thomzo »

I can't have them in my house as I'm allergic to perfume. Despite all my friends knowing this, I still have to take antihistamines just to go to their houses because of their air-freshners. It's the same with their cars.

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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 230637Post Thomzo »

I can't have them in my house as I'm allergic to perfume. Despite all my friends knowing this, I still have to take antihistamines just to go to their houses because of their air-freshners. It's the same with their cars.

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Re: Tactfuly tell a friend something?

Post: # 230712Post wildbee »

Just be nice, say you don't want to hurt her feelings and you really appreciate her baking gifts but there's something you really have to tell her ...

She obviously enjoys baking things for other people, perhaps not using the tumble dryer at the same time would make a big difference? If you didn't like certain ingredients like lemon or chocolate etc wouldn't she accommodate those preferences?

I once baked some horrible fairycakes and no-one said anything, then when I ate one I was really embarrassed and people still insisted they were great! She probably won't be able to taste the perfume because she'll be used to it but what if she found out you didn't like them some other way?

Gooduck I'm sure you'll work it out and still be friends.



Now I need to take my own advice and tell my family that I'm not eating margarine, processed vegetable oils, sugar, pasteurised milk or tap water :shock:

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