101 things we can do without

[Martin]

31 roof-mounted chocolate teapots
32 Jonathan Woss
33 Arctic Coldkeanepatrol
34 "Lifestyles"
35 Religion (God preserve us from it!)
36 trousers (the most uncomfortable garment ever devised)
37 Big Brother (tv show, and present government)
38 Woman's Hour (SO divisive, and boring as hell)
39 Ballet
40 Football (thinly disguised homoerotica)
41 modern "grammar" - fed up OF!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Martin]

42 drug companies
43 GM food
44 "Health and Safety"
45 globalisation
46 Postal and email spam
47 Telephone Selling
48 Shopping Malls
49 Nuclear power
50 Melvyn Bragg

[Martin]

51 political correctness (fascism!)
52 Air travel (unnecessary!)
53 Daytime tv
54 Lollo Rosso (inedible bog brush)
55 Alcopops
56 The US of A
57 cellophane packing
58 Overdone women's fingernails - long, spade tipped, psychedelic etc........
59 Ford drivers (far worse than Volvo drivers)
60 The School run (they've got legs!)

[Martin]

61 suits
62 electricity pylons
63 streetlights
64 swimming pools
65 Stretch limos (who in their right mind would be seen dead in one?)
66 Saunas
67 Gymnasia
68 Jacuzzis
69 Chewing gum (what's the difference between an American chewing gum, and a cow chewing the cud? - the look of intelligence on the cow's face!)
70 Shakespeare (I'm with Carol Vorderman on that)
71 Latin

[Martin]

72 "Celebrities"
73 swimsuits
74 Sports men and women who aren't sporting in their demeanour (that'll be most of them)
75 Screeching TV weathergirls in dreadful clothes (most of them!)
76 Local government "spies in the sky" (just discovered local authorities do a LOT of it!)
77 overheated hotels (why?????)
78 Polyurethane Foam - lots of it in most modern homes - leeches poisons for years
79 Bicycles without mudguards
80 Racing saddles (ouch!)
81 cycling helmets
82 Spandex - on almost everybody

[Martin]

83 Theatrical types (that dreadful self-importance)
84 The "Art Establishment" - see above!
85 Colour supplements - total waste of resources..........
86 Sky TV
87 C*sinos (the spam filter kicks in if I write the word in full - it doesn't like them either!)
88 Midnight postmen
89 Those silly flashing "cut your speed signs" - at night, distracting and dangerous (and round these parts, set to go off UNDER the limit)
90 Melanie Phillips - my least-favourite square-earther! (and writer for the Daily Fail)
91 "sneakers" or whatever those dreadful superannuated plimsolls are called!
92 Belly button piercings
93 Exposed belly buttons showing stretch marks, cellulite, and gross obesity
94 Ties (what is the point?)
95 Grey track suit bottoms (particularly in the larger sizes)
96 Stiletto heels
97 Garden snobbery - I like begonias!
98 "Press 5 for complaints" automatic telephone nightmares
99 The Olympics (yawn)
100 Synthetic pheromone based scents, particularly -
101 Glade and similar home air pollutants

I feel better for that!

[Annpan]

wow, Martin, take it easy...

I think you need a sit down and a nice cup of (loose leaf) tea after that...

Is this forum turning into cheap therapy for some people?

[the.fee.fairy]

3
36 trousers (the most uncomfortable garment ever devised)
!

Dare i ask you garment of choice then?!

[catalyst]

cor blimey, i thought it might take at least 24 hours to get to the 101!

but, we like swimming pools, just not chlorinated ones :)

[Martin]

- the bonce is in "list" mode at the moment - we're off to the Workhouse Festival on Wednesday, so it's lists for everything!
And for Fee - preferably nothing (VERY green!), or a sarong!

[Sassinak]

Oh my gawd - you are green when naken - that is scary lol

[Martin]

[Cornelian]

What? Everyone wants to keep their mobile phones? Please God, let them be annihilated! LOL

[Clara]

Sorry, been looking at baby websites and i gotta add....

102. Pointless baby educating things/methods - NO my baby does not need sign language, mother´s intuition will suffice. NO my baby does not need squeaky shoes to encourage her to walk, humankind has managed that sort of thing for about hmmmm a long time. BABY ENSTEIN....don´t even get me started on those fascists.

Rant over.....

[Martin]

shall we go for 201?