Ish-flavoured jokes?

[Rosendula]

No sorry, I can't think of any right now. I just thought I'd suggest a thread as some of us have felt the board has been a bit, well, heavy going recently. So if anyone has any Ishy jokes, I for one am ready for them.

Oh, go on then. Here's one. But I'm warning you, it's terrible. And I mean terrible

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Garden

Garden Who?

Garden your door against unwanted visitors.

[shell]

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill
except for learning how to grow in rows.

A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbour and says, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?'' Her neighbour replies, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and
blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see.'' Well, what the heck? She does it. The next day her neighbour asks
how it worked. "So-so,'' she answers, "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer

[Millymollymandy]

Truly dreadful.

[Milims]

But very funny - it's one of my faves! Must try to think of one myself!

[sleepyowl]

Why did the nun get chucked out of the convent?

She was caught doing press ups in the cucumber patch