How do I get rid of a drunk woman with mental disorder?

[Rosendula]

Several weeks ago, there was a knock on the door about 9:30pm. OH and eldest two were out at rugby, so it was just me and LO here. At the door, I could see the sillhoette of a woman with her hands cupping her eyes trying to see through the frosted glass on the door. I opened the door, and without any salutation or apologies for disturbing me, she blurted out, "Can you get me a taxi please?" I was quite taken aback, but thought she must be in a bit of trouble and asked where she was going. She told me the name of a place I know to be a care home for people with mental disorders. So, I rang for a taxi.

A couple of weeks later, she did the same again. I was a bit annoyed. What was she doing up this way? There's nothing here other than an athletics stadium (which didn't look to be her thing) and a local pub. But, I rang for one again.

A week and a half later, she came again. I recognized the knock and OH answered and told her that no, we aren't ringing any more taxis for her and she mustn't come round here again. He suggested she ask at the pub for them to ring one, (she seemed quite drunk and smelled of alcohol), but she told him they won't.

A few days later, she did it again, and he told her the same again.

Tonight, about two weeks later again, she knocked on the door at about 7:30. OH answered and said no, and he's fed up now and is going to ring the police. She walked away. He didn't ring the police, it was a bluff in the hope she would be frightened off. He then went out to play darts, and she came back! She must have seen him go and decided to try me. I told her to go away and that she can get a bus at the bus stop (just outside my house), or go round the corner to the phone box and ring for a taxi and I shut the door.

The thing is, I don't mind helping someone out if they are in need but she obviously makes her own way here. I don't know why she chooses this area, because as I say, there's not a lot here. She's obviously drinking, and I know that they will ring a taxi for her at the pub - I used to work there and it's considered part of the job. If she comes here to meet with someone, where are they and why aren't they helping? I also feel that it's a bit of a bloody cheek when there are other ways for her to get back to the care home (15 minutes on the bus from outside my house. The taxi can take that long to get here). And it's a disturbance I could do without when I'm trying to settle LO down for the evening.

What can I do? Any suggestions?

[Annpan]

I'd call the police. Partly for your own safety, partly for hers.

I'd start by calling them during working hours and explain what has happened already and ask what to do if it happens again. I wouldn't call 999 for it of course.

If this was happening to me I would feel uneasy, and threatened (especially with a tiny tot) and you shouldn't feel like that in your own home.

[pumpy]

I think that you need to arrange someone from the care home to come to your house to discuss this matter.Surely if this sad lady is in such a state that she sees you as some sort of help (taxi-wise), then the care home is not living up to its name, & therefore, failing in its duties. Is it council run, or private? Is it something that your neighbours have experienced? I know that you have been sympathetic to this lady, but she is not your responsibility (particularly when you have a young family), so its something that needs to be 'nipped in the bud'.

[growingthings]

Deffo get in touch with someone from the care home, they need to be made aware that this thing is happening. I used to work with learning disabled adults some of whom had mental health problems several of whom used to go 'walkabouts'if they were given half a chance. One of which who used to take great pride in wandering into peoples gardens and stealing stuff!

It wasn't until the police were involved that the home found out that this was happening and could put things into place to prevent it from happening again. If the care home is worth their salt they will do their upmost to sort the problem. If they don't then get in touch with the council, as whether it is private or council run, they are answerable to the government white papers and orders that declare them a fit institution for these people to be resident in, along with contacting the police you should be able to get this sorted.

I really feel for you, you are trying to do right by this person, and I think that making someone aware of the problem is doing the right thing, they have issues that need to be addressed and they won't be until the appropriate people know about it.

Good luck with it all and I hope that it doesn't get you too stressed out!



Lorna x

[Rosendula]

I think you're right. I think I'll ring the manager of the home tomorrow and talk to her and if I'm not satisfied with that then I'll talk to the police.

Now LO's in bed I've had a chance to look up the Care Home on the internet and have found out it's a voluntary home that specialises in schizophrenia. It charges £230+ per week, and is owned by the English Churches Housing Group.

She might not come back again now we've both said no but I think we do need to talk to someone to find out how to deal with her if she does. I think my biggest problem is that I feel so flipping guilty for not helping her but it's just so inconvenient and a nuisance. It's not like she's stranded out in the sticks and mine's the only house for miles around.

[Mr and Mrs luvpie]

I just tell my mother-in-law to go to bed

In all seriousness, please ring the home and explain what has gone on, try to give a discription of the woman so that they can work out who it is, if it's a big place, if it carries on then you should speak to the local health authority or social services as one or the other will be funding the womans placement there and if they are aware of there being troubles then they will demand it be delt with.

[StripyPixieSocks]

Call the care home and tell them she is being a nuisance and making you feel unsafe in your home as she keeps calling when your OH is out. I know the last bit is a bit of a fib but sometimes you need tl make things sound a little more urgent.

If they refuse to do anything tell them you are going to refer the matter to the police and call them.

Then just do not answer the door even if it is glaringly obvious you are in, if she persists call the police again.

Voluntary or not someone should be in charge of her and you shouldn't feel guilty whatsoever!!

[Rosendula]

Thanks everyone I knew I'd get good advice here.

[pumpy]

Hope all works out well.

[Rosendula]

Just thought I'd let you all know that I followed your advice and contacted the manageress of the care home. She was able to work out who the lady was from my somewhat vague description and had a word with her. Since then she hasn't been back, although she approached DD1 on the street and asked her to ring for one from her mobile. She wouldn't have known my daughter was part of our household, so I let that one go. So fingers crossed, it's sorted out. The manageress of the home said if she does come back, to ring her again. Hopefully that won't be necessary.

Thanks once again for the good advice.

[mrsflibble]

glad it's sorted... i hope she's ok.

[StripyPixieSocks]

Brilliant result! Glad it's all sorted :)