The Daily Rant... I Mean Blog to Preserve My Sanity....

[MuddyWitch]

I always thought I was evil & horrid because I was secretly quite relieved when my father died. Not glad exactly, just relieved. But now I realise that so many other lovely people are having trouble with their parents I no longer think I'm a bad person. So THANK-YOU all. This has been my first guilt-free xmas. Your honesty and open-ness about your feeling have helped me heal. I realise that's not why you posted, but I just wanted you to know how much good you've done. A little consolation I hope.

MW

[missy]

christmas day was spoilt by my sister this year. she's 23 and acts like a 3 year old. long and short of it was that she was tired because she'd worked a long week, but instead of accepting that she was tired and taking a nap she was hell bent on causing arguements with everyone, and then this is the card she does best... makes out to our mum that we're all picking on her!.

should of known when on christmas eve, she got back to my parents house and having not seen me for nearly 2 months went on to tell me that it must be MY fault that our younger brother was in a funny mood with her (which he wasn't btw) because I was there, when normally he's fine.

and to top it off on christmas day after causing arguements with everyone, crying and sulking most of the day she rung her flat mate up, winged for 10 minutes about how we were all being horrible to her before her flat mate collected her and took her home.

then I had the pleasure of my MIL on boxing day.... no wonder my husband has decided that in 2009 christmas will be just us!

[JulieSherris]

You know what guys, we're all different, but in the same way, I reckon!
Yep, we're supposed to love our parents unconditionally, but when they don't love US in the same way, it's difficult.

My mum would have sold me for a packet of fags at certain points through her life, but she always had that way of thinking until she passed away. Hubby & I used to have awful arguments because I used to tell him that on one hand I absolutely hated her, on the other hand, she was MY mum & I loved her to bits - hard to explain.

I decided early on before I even thought of having my own kids, that I would treat them entirely different - and I do & I have. The upshot of this is that I am SO close to my youngest & eldest daughters, they tell me EVERYTHING.... and I really mean everything - we have full frank discussions about their sex lives, the lot. OK, not for the faint hearted, but by being this way with them, I've never given them reasons to lie to me, & they haven't.
My mum was such a hypocrite that I don't think I ever told her the truth about anything from when I was about 13 yrs old!
At least I've known that if the girls ever got into trouble in any way, I was there to support them & they know that. My youngest now lives with a man double her age, but she's happy.... and I'm happy that she's happy. If I try & interfere, it would only make her dig her heels in & I could well lose her as a daughter & friend & I don't want that.

My middle girl, however, spent a lot of time growing up with my mum & now is a complete nightmare. She's upset every christmas & birthday every year, causing arguments & trying to cause rifts - it's not worked & this year without her has been so relaxed & peaceful.

Now, the MIL has now been seen off on the plane home - we had the usual tears at the airport from her, the usual talk of 'I won't see you again, I'll die soon'.... she's been saying this for the last 10 years....
Over the last week, we've had the comments...
'oh, but this is such a primitive country, why would you like living here'..... Umm... because it's cheaper & we've managed to buy a property that we couldn't afford if it was in the UK.
'and to think that last year, you were in that nice big house with the central heating and your nice electric oven'..... Yeah, and it was costing us over 300 euro a month in heating oil.
'poor Andrew, having to clean the fire each day'....... Never mind, normally it's ME who has to do it!
'whatever will you do with a such a big garden, are you going to grow some roses? Dad liked roses'..... Yeah, but roses don't tatste so good as home grown veg with the sunday roast, huh.
'Pigs! Why on earth would you keep pigs? They're so dirty and what use would they be?'...... Ummm.... maybe a few bits of bacon & a couple of sausages after 9 months or so..... and I'll know how they were raised - well I don't have to explain myself to you lot, but... grrr!
'All that work to keep chickens, when you can buy eggs anywhere!'..... Yes, I could, but ditto the answer above....

Then today, we went past the toll booth on the motorway at Dublin....
MIL: 'Oh, are we in Northern Ireland now?'
Hubby: 'No, Mum we're nearly at Dublin'
MIL: 'Is Dublin not in Northern Ireland then?'
Hubby: 'No Mum, it's the capital city of Southern Ireland!'
MIL: 'Oh, I've never been interested in Ireland, it's such a backward place, filled with backward people'
Me - sitting in the back of the car, dreaming about putting my hands around her throat..... just for a little while........

GUYS!! She's gone!! WooHoo!!

Oh sweet jaysus, I am going out tomorrow to buy a few bottles of alcoholic beverage & will be spending NYE with hubby, daughter & little Leah (who deserves a medal for this week)..... and Relax!

Thank you to ALL of you who have put up with my daily rants & helped with your inputs throughout the seasonal week..... I love you all, & I really mean that!
This little thread has been my one area of sanctuary throughout, where I have thrown caution to the wind & just got down my feelings. And I have survived..... now - MIL hinted at visiting at Easter....... I need a plan to stop her!
Hubby says that at some point yesterday while she was filling the silences, his inner-head mantra was 'this will pay off our mortgage one day, this will pay off our mortgage one day, this will pay off our mortgage one day,'...... Harsh, but I know how he feels!

Thank you all - you're all stars
Julie xxxxxxx

[invisiblepiper]

Congrats for surviving!

[StripyPixieSocks]

You all deserve medals... seriously!

Glad you can relax and get back to normal now it's all over!

I'm the opposite to everyone it seems, I love my parents and my in laws are great too... the family on my Dads side and my Moms sister can all go to hell though

[SarahJane]

I have just read this thread, and I have to say "hats off "to all those that have endured a christmas with those they would rather not have had being there.

Julie, your posts have been very witty.

Maggie I hope it wasnt me who gave you the chest inf or flu or whatever it is you have had.

I used to love christmas, when the kids were little and my mum was alive, the house was always full of friends and family and I was in my element. My mum passed away in January 2001, and xmas 2000 was a tough one for all of us. I , it would seem, am one of the lucky ones on here, who loved her mum to bits. She was my best friend and I still miss her unbelievably!
That same year I split up from my ex and so the next few christmases were a bit weird , with the kids sharing their time between the 2 of us and my mum not being about.

I have had a lovely christmas. Despite feeling pretty grotty ( see the other thread!!!) and not being able to eat and drink what I would have liked, I have seen my daughter, son in law and gorgeous granddson. My son has also been over on xmas day and spent some quality time with us and its the forst year my OH has been able to spend xmas and new year with me. Even though we have been together nearly 4 years!

I have decided to put the antibiotics on hold until Friday and I will raise a glass to all on the board , but especially the ones that have posted on this thread.

HAVE A VERY HAPPY 2009!

[Green Aura]

Well done all of us! I knew you could do it Julie.

No Sarah Jane, my gal had this bug when I got down, same symptoms just not quite as bad.

Enjoy new year everyone. We've cancelled our party - OH and mother now have the lurgie too. However we won't let it stop us seeing in the new year - just in quarantine!