Unwanted advice, am I over reacting?

[JillStephens7]

I think the main thing is to keep your head straight about it, of course you will feel rotten because you're being bullied. This buffoon is trying to make you feel small and do things his way.

If others around you know how you're feeling they can help support you. Your allotment should be therapeutic not somewhere you're feeling anxious and paranoid and the only thing that's making you feel like that is him because he's a big fat bully.

I can find it hard to think on the spot with pushy people so it might help to decide what you're going to say to him next time he starts banging on to cut him off before he gets into full flow.

Hope you get it sorted soon

[eccentricemma]

hi you are def not over reacting! but i understand how you feel - i also look pretty young for my age and also am even shorter than you! so i get patronised a lot. but i deal with it by showing that i know more than them and that usually shuts them up!

its a shame you didnt feel you could say anything to the manager when you were asked but perhaps you should bring it up again, casually ask if theres anyone else who has had problems, or get into a conversation about annoying neighbours!

failing that, go over to HIS allotment and start telling him what to do there and see how he likes it!!

[homegrown]

Our new neighbours are like that but we had a word with the landlord and hopefully it'll go away, the neighbou told me that I couldn't put my chicken coup there because it would spoil his view, even though the edge was higher than the coop.

so speak to the bossman and don't wack him with the spade,please, use the rake it leaves more holes...

[Nomada]

Thanks for all the replies, I've not seen him since so next time I see him I shall see what happens, if he carries on I'll see the boss man!

[Thomzo]

I can only echo what the others have said. He is bullying you and you don't need to put up with it. The next time he heads in your direction start whacking something very hard with a sharp implement.

When he starts conversation tell him, politely, "I know you're only trying to help but I have really bad PMT today so, for your own safety, I suggest you stay well clear".

He'll be so shocked that he'll never come your way again.

Zoe

[Nomada]

Zoe, I love it, I might just try that one!

[SaveSomeGreen]

I would keep an eye out for something that he hasn't done yet so that next time he comes over and starts sticking his oar... or spade in... you can tell him to concentrate on his own allotment but thanks very much etc.

I haven't even put my cabbages in yet, Late sure but they will catch up, nature finds its way and all that...

Had a miserable old bugger next to me who just moaned all the time, he gave up (after doing good work to be fair) and now I have a nice new water butt arrangement. Bright side of life and all that

[citizentwiglet]

I'm a shortie, too, and I'm amazed how many people treat me like a 12 year old because I'm the same height as one. I'm 37, FFS!

It does sound as though the site manager was dropping a rather heavy hint. I wonder whether your unappointmented mentor had designs on someone he knew (friend? family?) getting your plot, and has been kicking off about it, and is now trying to make your life tough hoping you'll chuck in the towel and he'll get his way.

As you settle in, and start chatting to others on the allotment, you might find that this chap is nothing more than the (albeit annoying) local comedy act; it would be interesting to see if anyone else mentions him.

With our community garden, we've just allocated the raised beds. The local 'know-it-alls' are well known, and we've allocated them raised beds all together so they drive each other insane... !! Mind you, we have also made an effort to put friendly, non-patronising gardeners next to complete novices (with their permission, of course!) to hopefully spread their knowledge. Me, I've plumped myself right in the middle of the garden. My excuse was that it would be easier to keep an eye on the kids, truth is that I've got the best view of what everyone else is up too......