Eternal Questions

[Annpan]

28. Why do all the stones and bricks in your garden magically transpose themselves approximately 2 inches below where you are just about to dig a hole 16 inches deep?

29. Why does it never matter where you want a 'feature' in your garden (eg, a pond, a poly-tunnel, some raspberry bushes) It appears the previous residents had plans for a different feature, 2 inches under ground? (eg. a plastic bag, bits of dolls heads, a bookcase, a broken storage box, a bicycle catalogue)

30. Why is dyslexia so difficult to spell?

31 Why is the word to describe a condition where you can't pronounce you 's'es called a lisp? thus making it impossible to pronounce correctly by sufferers?
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32. Why is there no other word for thesaurus?

33. Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? where as active and inactive are opposites?

34. Why are 'through' and 'trough' spelt almost identically and yet pronounced totally differently

35. Why do I have difficulty getting up at 7am when I have to and yet, when there is no need I can't manage to stay asleep beyond 7am?

[Rosendula]

30. Why is dyslexia so difficult to spell?

31 Why is the word to describe a condition where you can't pronounce you 's'es called a lisp? thus making it impossible to pronounce correctly by sufferers?

36. And why is 'Speech Therapist' so difficult to say?

[sleepyowl]

37 How many swallows does a summer make?

38 If you strapped a peice of toast butter side up to the back of a cat which way would it land?

39 If it is passed from child to parent is it exherited?

40 What would happen with the weather if you pegged an umberella on a washing line?

41 How do they know Smarties have the answer?

42 How many people have eaten excrement to actually compare the flavour of food that they are eating to it?

43 Why is the the fear of long words hippodemonstresquippedaliophobia?

44 Do you have to be nowned first before becoming renowned?

45 Do sore thumbs really stick out?

46 Did anyone actually try inventing a chocolate teapot?

[Rosendula]

47. Why do people who want to put leaflets, post and other rubbish through my letterbox always insist on walking across the garden when I have a perfectly usable garden path? There's no lawn there, it's a growing area. It can be absolutely sodden. It can be freshly dug and in big lumps thereby promising a twisted ankle. It can have baby seedlings growing in it. It has bushes at one end that they have to struggle to climb over. It has large plant pots lining the edge of the path as a deterrent. It has long hazel branches stuck in the mud at angles to form another barrier and make people realise (or so was the idea) that I don't want them walking across the garden. Yet still they do. Why???

[JulieSherris]

47. Why do people who want to put leaflets, post and other rubbish through my letterbox always insist on walking across the garden when I have a perfectly usable garden path? There's no lawn there, it's a growing area. It can be absolutely sodden. It can be freshly dug and in big lumps thereby promising a twisted ankle. It can have baby seedlings growing in it. It has bushes at one end that they have to struggle to climb over. It has large plant pots lining the edge of the path as a deterrent. It has long hazel branches stuck in the mud at angles to form another barrier and make people realise (or so was the idea) that I don't want them walking across the garden. Yet still they do. Why???

Because they can.......

[Millymollymandy]

Probably because your path isn't straight and man likes to walk in a straight line from A-B as the crow flies. Or something like that! Or just because they are pillocks. Take your pick.

[Mrs Moustoir]

48. Why is it that I can never find an elastic band when I need one - yet when we lived in the UK, I had a drawer full of the red ones dropped by the postman....?

49. On the subject of the red elastic bands - why don't the Royal mail keep them and use them again instead of allowing their staff to sprinkle elastic bands here, there and everywhere?

[Mal]

It's how they grow. Red elastic bands are sprinked everywhere and in some places they grow (they look a bit like dogwood, with the red stems), and then they come back in the night and harvest a bunch of new elastic bands. We should be pleased, it's good and sustainable.

[mrsflibble]

38 If you strapped a peice of toast butter side up to the back of a cat which way would it land?

it never does don't you know? that's how you make a perpetual motion machine. seriously. works better with peanut butter on granary toast though. strp it to the back of the cat, push the cat off a wall and watch it hover in mid-air. the only problems is then harnessing the energy the perpetual motino machine then puts out. the connection of wires is no fun for the cat. or the toast. and they tend to get rather tangled...................................

[Rosendula]

49. On the subject of the red elastic bands - why don't the Royal mail keep them and use them again instead of allowing their staff to sprinkle elastic bands here, there and everywhere?

If I understand it correctly, the red ones are meant to be an environmentally friendly alternative to the old, boring brown ones. According to my OH who's a postie, the red ones are biodegradable (which also means when you try to use them more than a couple of times they snap). He also said that a lot of posties do keep them and reuse them and that it's "only the lazy bu&&ers that don't bother", and he has just shown me the snap-marks on his arms to prove it. Aw, i'n't he a love?

[sleepyowl]

50 where does the other sock disappear off to when you try & pair them up

51 why do you always find a spoon at the bottom of a washing up bowl even if you weren't washing up spoons?

52 Why do I attract middle class people when I'm working class & proud of it?

53 Why do gay people who hate being stereotyped act in the stereotypical way?

54 Is my big sister realy my big sister seeing as though I'm half a foot taller than she is?

55 Why do aliens abduct rednecks & yokels rather than intellligent people?

56 If empty vessels rattle the loudest are they really that empty?

57 Why is garlic an aphrodisiac when the smell puts people off getting close to you?

58 Why do they even feel the need to have a law in Alabama against having sex with a porcupine?

59 Why is the song called Alice the camel even when she is a horse? As horses are not related to camels

[Ellendra]

53 Why do gay people who hate being stereotyped act in the stereotypical way?

60. Why do ANY people who hate being stereotyped act in a stereotypical way?

61. Why do some girls purposely dress to "advertise" and then complain about being looked at as sex objects?

[frozenthunderbolt]

25. Why not?

24. Why the platypuss? just why?

25. Why not?

Why does my OH think I'm nuts for giggling in front of the computer at 7.30 in the morning - only to go into convulsions when he asks if its about chickens!
( He saw mmm's avatar!)

Always glad to cause a giggle (with thanks to wombat for the asist)

[Flo]

49. On the subject of the red elastic bands - why don't the Royal mail keep them and use them again instead of allowing their staff to sprinkle elastic bands here, there and everywhere?

So that I can re-use them on the allotment for cane control!

[Sky]

62.Where do all the scissors, combs and pens go?