Friend's Hen do rant

[ina]

Reading all this just adds to my belief that getting married nowadays is just a case of "let's spend as much money as possible"...

Ask them what they think you'll be living on the rest of the month. That kind of money would buy food for a couple of months!

[Helsbells]

Ask them what they think you'll be living on the rest of the month. That kind of money would buy food for a couple of months!

Yeah!!

On a good month I have about £100 left after paying the mortgage, bills, food etc And that goes towards paying off the overdraft!

[Nomada]

That is ridiculous, I could never expect my friends to pay that much to attend my hen do. Now I know that it's meant to be a special day for the couple and they want to make things memorable and special but you've still got to be realistic about what you and others can afford. After all it's just one day, the years coming afterwards is the important bit! Me and my partner had priced up everything for our wedding up to about £300 to £500 for our wedding and we're booking our place (a campsite with a bunkhouse) for a whole weekend and paying for one of our friends to drive a minibus to bring everyone there so that they will literally have nothing to pay for at all. I simply don't understand why it has to be a big white poofy diamond coated affair that costs the deposit money on a house! I would second peoples ideas about just expaining it's too much, politely declining and offering to do something nice with her another time. Don't worry about it, she'll understand.

[MuddyWitch]

I agree with the majority: £65 would be too much for me. let alone £165!

Tell your friend that you're really sorry that you can't afford the hen-do, then spend some of the money you would have wasted on this weekend on a really special or unique wedding present.

MW

[SarahJane]

I understand exactly how you feel. Every year at work, the girls plan a "christmas weekend away". Now dont get me wrong, I love them all and get on really well with them. BUT, I am the only "single " one amongst them. They all have partners, two wages coming into the household etc.
This year, the hotel they booked into cost over £100 for 2 nights. Then there was the food, drinks, shopping spree planned etc etc.
There is absolutely no way on gods earth I could have afforded to go, and if I had got that kind of money to spend I could have found something better to spend it on. I just cant warrant spending that kind of money!. That doesnt mean to say they are not great girls, but sometimes they should try being in my position!

Ok , rant over!

[JulieSherris]

Yep, I think everyone is with you on this, Helsbells.
The way of the stag & hen do's are ridiculous nowadays, I'm afraid.
Having lived in Blackpool for 10 years, we saw our fair share of the weekend groups, all done up & dusted in their outfits - unique, just like every other group! And the money they were spending! Well, good for the Blackpool pubs & clubs, but really, is it necessary? No, of course not - it's just added pressure at a time when cash is tight for a lot of folks anyway.

Good luck with dealing it, let us know what your friends thoughts are on it - does she approve of her sisters plans?
I know how I'd feel if someone was organising something like this for my celebrations......

[Helsbells]

Thankyou all so much for your help, it was actually my friend who told her sister she wanted it to be a weekend thing.
I have decided that I am just going to go for the saturday evening then come home, that way I only have to pay for the Salsa thing and a meal, and I am least showing my support or whatever.
I knew I could rely on everyone here to make me feel better. I know it seems trivial, and in the greater scheme of things it really doesnt matter, but it was just one of those things that had got to me.

[the.fee.fairy]

I hope you have a good time.

In the grand scheme of things it is important - she should be thinking of others as well. I hate the way that the W word sends some women into Bridezilla mode...!

[Stonehead]

I agree with the majority: £65 would be too much for me. let alone £165!

We got married for £65—45 seconds with the registrar with two friends as witnesses, then lunch with the friends. (And almost no one knows we did it. Well, until now!)

The registrar said it was the fastest marriage she'd done.

[wigan pixie]

I can't believe someone expects you to pay so much for a Hen do. That's a months food budget for me. My cut price Hen do was brilliant. We had a full day at home being silly. Stag's in one room and Hen's in the other. We also had lots of silly games (women v men) like tug-of-war, egg and spoon, sack races, etc. It was just a day of getting drunk and acting daft. When I first suggested it, everyone thought I'd gone a bit bonkers, but at the end of the evening they all said how much fun it had been.

We also had a cut price wedding, just close friends and immediate family. We all went to the register office in the back of a transit van!

Sadly the marriage only lasted 17 years, but if I did get married again, I would do everything exactly the same.

[JulieSherris]

......................Sadly the marriage only lasted 17 years, but if I did get married again, I would do everything exactly the same.

But hopefully, not the divorce bit, I take it!